He kissed my shoulder and trailed his fingers up my abs to circle my breast. “Yes, be with you, in New York.”
I grabbed his hand—we needed to focus. “But you live in San Francisco.”
“So? I can sell jiandui anywhere. Or get a different job.” He shrugged.
“But your family is there.”
“They have each other. And I can always go visit.”
“But that’s...silly. You can’t just move here for me.” Right?
“Why not? I don’t really care where I am, I care about who I’m with.” He kissed my forehead. “And I want to be with you.”
“You don’t want to try long-distance first? Like...calling and stuff?”
He rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. “Wow, you’re all the same. I am aware of how phones work, if that’s what you’re about to tell me. But no, I’d rather do in-person, if you’re okay with it.” His thumb gently stroked my cheek. “We’ve been through enough together for me to know that you’re worth it. More than worth it.”
Tears sprang to my eyes as I scanned his face. “Why?” I whispered, finally allowing hope to seep in.
He smiled and kissed my left eyelid. “Because you’re beautiful.”
My right eyelid. “Because you’re fierce.”
The tip of my nose. “Because you’re hilarious.”
Finally, my lips. “Because you’re my Chinese-American dream.”
Tears slipped out of the corners of my eyes, and he lovingly wiped them away with his thumbs. He smiled and kissed me again, sweetly, tenderly, and I arched up into him, holding his head, trying my best to devour him.
But after a moment, he broke our kiss to finish his thought. “A lot has changed during these past few months. I think we’ve both grown a little more into ourselves, and I would love to spend some time getting to know the new you, the old you...all of you. I want to do things the right way this time, to make things last. Will you let me?”
I nearly cracked my head on his chin with how vigorously I nodded. We both laughed, and he pulled me against him and held me as I cried into his chest. He stroked my hair and whispered soothing sounds as tension drained out of me, replaced by excitement for the future. Hope.
I abruptly pushed away from him and sat up. “Nope, I’m moving to San Francisco.”
“What? Why?” He pushed himself up on his elbow to look at me.
I wiped my tears away, determined. “I’m done with New York. It’s been over eight years, it’s time for me to try someplace new. There’s nothing keeping me here, and I basically live in a closet, for goodness sake.” I stroked his jaw and added, “Besides, then I can see Cassie more often, and maybe...maybe meet your family.”
He studied my face, then asked the safer question first. “What about your job? Stumpstash? Will it affect your music writing at all?”
“I mean, maybe. It’s hard to tell how things will change. But like you, I can find another job, and I’m pretty sure that I can write about music from anywhere. And I’ll have fresh material when I discover local bands and stuff. I could use a change of scenery.” San Francisco had been really fun when I’d last visited, and the prospect of exploring a new place filled me with excitement, not sadness.
Then he tackled the real question. “Are you...sure you want to deal with my family? I have a big family.”
I smiled and nodded. “If they’re your family, and you tell me that they’re great, then I...I trust you.” If he loved his family, then I was sure I could learn to do so, too.
He held my hand. “You sure about this?”
I settled back down into his arms, sighing contentedly. It felt right. “I’m sure.”
◆◆◆
So we packed up my shit and I moved to San Francisco a month later.
Saying goodbye to New York hadn’t been that hard. I organized one big going away party for my friends and acquaintances in the music biz, which Asher helped with. He even DJed, and the thoughtfulness of his set nearly brought me to tears. I was nervous when Ian said he’d come, but they shook hands without breaking each others fingers, and Ian even danced and asked Asher about his music. Thank goodness.
Saying goodbye to Lina was another story. I convinced her to continue the tradition that I’d had with Cassie, of Sunday night Google Hangouts calls. Besides, we’d promised to do at least one outdoor climbing trip together each year, and I meant to hold us to it—I was super stoked for Burlfriendfest II. But even with that to look forward to, Lina was annoyed at Ian for depriving her of yet another climbing partner. She was incredibly hot and amazing at climbing, though, so I was confident that she’d have a replacement for me in no time. Based on how she and Asher had traded stares during the party, I not-so-secretly hoped it would be him.
I had to quit my job at Stumpstash. Ian had been able to transfer offices as an engineer, but as an office admin, I couldn’t just transfer to the other office if they didn’t have an opening for me. They didn’t, so I quit. My coworkers were sad to see me go, but they promised to follow along on my music writing career, and to stop by Ian’s food truck when they were in San Francisco.
I still planned on finding another job in San Francisco, but in the meantime, Moonslick Mirror ended up buying my piece (they’d called it “utterly charming and deeply reflective of [my] soulful connection to the band”) and had asked me to become a regular contributor. I’d definitely be okay without another job for a few months.
And I found an apartment with some roommates that wasn’t too far from Ian’s place. The rent was no better or worse than in New York, but it felt good to take care of myself and have breathing room while still having him close by. I liked my new roommates, too, and was
