He caught her by the arm. ‘Jan, are we going to talk–’
‘I don’t think I love you anymore,’ she blurted looking into his big brown eyes. She began to add more. Thought better of it. Charley had said earlier that night that alcohol had a way of loosening the tongue. And grass is green and the sky is blue.
Andrew looked amused. Then he realised she wasn’t joking. ‘You…you…what?’
‘I’m sorry, but I just can’t do this anymore, Andrew. All I want to do is concentrate on my studies, my career, and all you seem to want is me. You’re living in your own little world. I’m not ready to move in with you, I’m not ready to be the happy little housewife you seem to have me down for, and I’m sure as hell not ready to be in love.’
Andrew's face contorted into a twist of shock. He took another step back. ‘You don’t mean that. You can’t!’
‘I’m sorry, Andrew. I just need to be away from you for a while.’
‘A while? What does that even mean, babe? Is this a break? Or are you ending it?’
‘I just need to be away from you for a while,’ she said again. ‘Take my keys, go back to my place, I’ll stay at Charley’s tonight.’
‘I don’t understand this, Jan –’
‘I’ll be back around midday. I need you and all your stuff gone by the time I get home. Please, Andrew, just do this for me.’
She moved for the door leaving Andrew standing. He looked like a lost little boy, surrounded by garbage and stale odours. As she reached the door she heard him call over the music. ‘I won’t let it be over, Jan. I love you. I’m not going to give up on us that easily.’
She pulled open the fire door and dissolved into the music.
*
Derek Holliday tried not to look over his shoulder as he ran blindly into the mist. He was tripping out, he thought, had to be. But the thick fog was no illusion, nor were the slapping footsteps in his wake.
Eyes wide, he ran in a wild panic. Someone had found out about him, there was no other explanation. Someone had joined the dots and discovered he liked little girls. Like-liked little girls! But they didn’t know everything, how could they? He was a changed man now.
Holding the jeans up around his belly, he dashed sightlessly through the huge park. Trees came at him from the mist, but there was no way to tell if he’d passed them before.
If he could just keep moving…
The quick footsteps in pursuit were gaining on him, he was certain.
The damp grass underfoot his enemy, he slid to his knees and slumped onto his front, the breath knocked from him in a sludgy whump. He rolled onto his back and gulped at the air, lungs emptied. He needed to climb back to his feet, keep moving, but there was no use. He was done.
From the mist his pursuer emerged. Derek closed his eyes tight and tensed, arms outstretched pathetically.
‘Derek,’ he heard the voice say. ‘That you?’
He chanced one eye open. Standing above him in his trademark beanie was the trader.
‘Donovan?’ he gasped. ‘Oh, thank the fucking Lord.’
‘The fuck you doing in the mud, Holliday?’
Derek climbed to his feet and brushed himself down.
‘You fuckin paedos are all alike,' spat Donovan. 'Sickos, the lot of you. Got me chasing you through the park like some bastard relay! What the hell was that about?’
‘You got the stuff?’ Derek managed to splutter.
Donovan held out two blank VHS boxes. Holliday snatched them and turned to leave, relief washing over him.
‘Hey, sicko!’ Donovan called. ‘You still owe me for last month’s stuff. Don’t make me come to your house.’
The park responded with silence. Derek Holliday was gone.
*
Muscling her way to the bar Janine Bluestock caught the attention of one of the bartenders, the best looking one in an open collar black shirt and dark tan, small pendant dangling from his chain. She wanted to flirt with him, take on an instant rebound, but he was dashing around, too busy to stop and talk with her. Instead she ordered three large tequila slammers and hammered one back.
‘One of those for me?’ a voice at her back yelled above the music.
She turned to find Charley’s grinning face beaming back at her. She and Charley had been friends since forever, and she loved her like a sister. With her long legs, peroxide locks and fake double D’s paid for by one sugar daddy or another, the boys loved her too. Janine always felt invisible by comparison.
‘Go for it,’ she said, handing Charley one of the slammers.
They clinked glasses and tossed them back in a wince. ‘So listen,’ said Charley. ‘Where’s Andy? Jay’s bounced. Pussy’s got a lecture in the morning.’
Janine shrugged, unknowing.
‘Well that’s good, cos I spy a couple of hotties ripe for the picking. Check it out, end of the bar.’
Janine leaned forward. Two guys waiting to be served looked over, faces buried beneath cheesy grins and squinty eyes.
‘Get some more drinks, okay?’ said Charley. ‘I’ll go put in some groundwork.’
Charley disappeared into the masses only to reappear between the two guys, all fluttering eyelids and fake giggles.
Janine didn’t order drinks, didn’t hang around. Instead she pushed herself away from the bar and made for the exit. Charley wouldn’t be mad. She probably wouldn’t even notice she’d gone until later in the dorm room when she discovered her in bed.
Outside, Janine found herself enveloped by the loitering fog which had descended over Clapham High Street, the muted whumping fading behind her. She began to shiver, her tiny dress doing little to ward off the chill. It started to rain.
Stepping off the main
