“Condo. You make it sound like some sort of fairytale.”
“Could be. Especially if he’s packing a golden rod.”
I cough, choking on air at the thought of Jude’s very generous rod. Well, what I saw of it from afar. A shiver works up my spine.
“You little minx!” De’Shaun gasps, drawing the glare of the sound crew. He winds his arm in mine and practically drags me outside. We shuffle past a few cast members and staff until we’re around one side of the building. “The anticipation is killing me! What gives?”
I twist my hands together and exhale a deep breath. “Last night I was having trouble sleeping, so I went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Only, I got distracted.”
“Girl. Spit it out. I’m dying.” De’Shaun’s eyes are the widest they’ve ever been. He playfully slaps my shoulder. “Please tell me you fucked him!”
“Let me talk!” I glance around, but no one is close enough or paying attention. I lower my voice anyway. “He was . . .” I form a fist, gesturing my hand up and down.
“Milking a cow?” De’Shaun deadpans.
Laughter bursts from my gut, and I cover my mouth to stop it. De’Shaun presses his lips together, but it’s no use. We give in and giggle uncontrollably like two school girls.
“You caught him stroking the bandit. So? Please tell me you joined in? Offered him a helping hand?”
I sober and shoot him a glare.
“Fine. At least tell me you stayed to watch.”
I bite my lip, because yeah, I did that. Which feels like a huge violation of Jude’s privacy. I just couldn’t get my feet to move. Not with the way he said my name. “He didn’t catch me.”
“But you stayed.” A giant grin paints De’Shaun’s lips. “My dirty little Rae of sunshine.”
“He was saying my name. While—” I repeat my half-ass version of the obscene motion. My next words escape in a rushed exhale. “And I liked it. But we have clear boundaries. Or so I thought. Now I can’t look him in the eye and it’s Friday and I was planning to stay at his place all weekend. I don’t know what to do.”
“Wow. Okay. That’s a lot to process.” De’Shaun blinks and assesses me—probably reconsidering his decision to befriend me. “First and most importantly, you want to bang him.”
“What? No.” But that’s not true. I do want Jude. If I’m being honest, I’ve been wanting him all week. Each night we’ve spent together, he’s given me glimpses of a persona he doesn’t show most people, and one I’ve come to admire. The mask of pure desire, devotion, and lust I witnessed last night, well, it seals the deal. I inhale a ragged breath, and exhale honesty. “Yeah, I do.” I want Jude Lawrence. Consequences be damned.
De’Shaun claps and bounces on his toes. “Oh baby, I’m so excited for you. It’s finally happening!”
“I’ve had sex before. I’m not a virgin.”
He raises his brows and gives me a Girl-please-don’t-even-try-to-tell-me-otherwise look. “You told me it’s been six months. You’re basically born again. How are things downstairs? Do I need to bribe someone to wax your lady garden?”
“No.” I shake my head and groan at the idea. “We are not involving the set staff. I keep things trimmed and manicured.”
He smirks. “Then there’s only one thing left.”
“What’s that?”
He settles his hands on my shoulders, his gaze unwavering and unusually serious. “Be yourself. Be confident, sexy, you. That’s what he wants. That’s the gift you give. Be honest. Tell him what you want. Better yet, demand it.”
I’m not ashamed of my sexual desires. Never have been. But this pep talk from my new co-worker stokes my confidence. I’m a woman who goes after what she wants, and I definitely want Jude Lawrence.
De’Shaun bumps his shoulder against mine. “The mind-blowing orgasms will follow.”
“De’Shaun!” One of the PAs shouts from the door to the studio. “Hair crisis on set.”
“Coming!” De’Shaun hollers, then whispers, “Like my girl Rae will be all weekend.”
“De’Shaun!” I chide.
He only laughs, a sway to his hips as he turns and heads inside. I trail after, knowing wherever a hair crisis arises, there’s usually a makeup disaster to follow. I need to focus on work, but my mind sways back to my dilemma with Jude. Maybe I’m overcomplicating things. Maybe De’Shaun is right. Jude obviously wants me. I want him. We have the weekend and an empty condo. Could it be so simple?
I wasn’t going to sleep with Jude—or any man who reminded me of Ethan. But I’m allowed to change my mind. Besides, Jude’s nothing like I first assumed. He’s generous, hard-working, and he loves his dog. The way he looks after Walter when he thinks I’m not watching does crazy, melty things to my heart.
I’m brave enough to admit that I care about Jude. My feelings go deeper than sexual desire. I’ve come to appreciate his companionship, looking forward to it daily. Though my attachment has gone from zero to sixty in a very short time span, that doesn’t discount the truth.
This is happening. I’m going to tell him. I’m going to be honest, lay out my feelings, and enjoy whatever happens. Tonight I’ll submit to my most carnal desires and sleep with my temporary roommate. What could go wrong?
30
Jude
I pull up to the studio a little after eight o’clock. After the way she was this morning, and her working later than usual, I don’t know what to expect.
Rachel slides into the passenger seat, greeting me with a smile. “Hey.”
Instantly my nerves settle. “Hey, how was work?”
“Great.”
“Thankful it’s Friday?”
“You have no idea.” The look she gives me is strange. Different somehow, and I wonder what it means. Maybe she’s nervous about this weekend?
Then it hits me. She probably has plans with friends. Maybe that’s why she was so weird this morning. A beautiful, single woman like herself must have something better than being subjected to my company. Damn it. I never even considered this alternative. How am I going to
