“Will do, good night.” I end the call, wipe the tears from my eyes, and make my way back across town to my new temporary housing. My heart and body feel as if they’ve been through a rugby match, tossed, smashed, and banged around. Not permanently out of order, but damaged. I could tell myself I’ve been through worse and things will look brighter in the morning, but that’d be a lie and I’ve had enough of those to last me a lifetime.
47
Jude
Rachel doesn’t come home. I don’t know why I expected she would. This is my fault. She left because I deceived her. I don’t know how she found out about the car, but she did. There are consequences to every action, and this penance is mine to pay.
I’m miserable without her.
By Tuesday morning, my pride’s long abandoned me and I resort to texting and calling on the hour. She doesn’t pick up. She doesn’t even tell me to fuck off. God, I just want to hear her voice. Why won’t she pick up? Madness takes over and I can’t concentrate on work. I almost drive to Americana studios, or by her apartment, just for something to do.
Her silence sends a message. One I don’t want to hear. Rachel Delgado may never forgive me.
Fuck. This can’t be how it ends. She has to come back eventually. All her stuff is in my condo.
It’s the reason I never once leave my place, not even to walk Walter. To my appreciation, the condo’s security team doesn’t question why I can’t take him down myself. I don’t know what I’d tell them if they asked. But I can’t stand the thought of missing her in the elevator. Of her stuff disappearing while I’m gone. Her clothes and makeup piled in one corner of my room are my only proof that this week was real. That I didn’t dream her up. I’ll stay in this place my entire life if that’s how long it takes to see her again. I offer up a silent prayer she doesn’t make me wait that long.
It’s almost seven o’clock on Tuesday evening when my prayers are answered. The knock at the door sends Walter into a yapping flurry. As if he’s angry she left without saying good-bye too.
My heart gets caught in my throat and I push off the couch, almost too scared to hope it’s her. My feet hit the floor with heavy footfalls. Part of me wants to race to the door, but there’s another part anxious with nerves.
I’ve practiced my apology. It’s all I’ve been able to focus on. But will she forgive me?
The lock on the door clicks, and she pushes it open. My breath catches, my heart full of relief at the sight of her. But the second her gaze finds mine, I fear the worst. There’s no love in her eyes. Not even hurt. They’re cold, closed off, and that’s more terrifying than anything.
“I’m just here to get my things,” she says curtly, and steps out of the way to let in another man.
Jealously rips away all sense of restraint. All the anger I’ve been shoving aside rushes forward. “Who the fuck is this?”
“Jude. Don’t.”
The man chuckles, his hands raising with open palms. “Not here to fight, sugar.” He glances at Rachel, the humor draining from his face. “Just helping a friend.” There’s no longing in his gaze, only protectiveness. The same as a brother would have for a sister.
I realize this must be her co-worker, De’Shaun. She’s described him well enough; I should’ve known immediately. Jesus, she must think I’m an asshole.
“Excuse us,” Rachel says, her indifference more cutting than before. They pass by, and De’Shaun swears as he takes in the grandeur of my condo. They speak in hushed voices, low enough I can’t make out what they say.
Walter follows them as well. I’m the only one stuck in place as though my feet are glued to the floor. Fear grips my chest and holds tight as I process what’s happening. I thought I wanted to see her, but now she’s leaving. This time for good. I scrub a hand over my jaw and bite back the urge to yell. I can’t live without her. I just can’t.
De’Shaun emerges from my room with two suitcases, offering me a sad smile as he passes.
This is my only chance. Stepping into the bedroom doorway, I block it with my body and try not to focus on the fact she’s nearly packed. “Rachel. We need to talk.”
“No.” She shakes her head, not even lifting her gaze.
“No?” It hurts worse than any punch. “You don’t think we deserve to talk this out. After everything? After—” I’ve fallen in love with you.
“I know what you did.” Her jaw locks, and she zips shut her duffle bag. “I can’t move past that.”
“The car? Jesus, Rachel. I’m sorry. I should have told you.” Frustration reverberates through my muscles. This isn’t going the way I imagined. She won’t even look at me. “I had my reasons, but I’m sorry. Just don’t leave. Don’t ruin what we have over a car.”
She whirls on me, her gaze sharp with indignation. “You think this is about Iron Maiden?”
Okay, that stops me. What else is there? Oh, shit. “Look, I’m sorry, but what was I supposed to do? Watch you struggle to make ends meet when I had perfectly good connections to get you that job. You love it, and you’re damn good.”
Her eyes widen and she takes a step back, her head shaking. “You got me the job.” She blinks as if she didn’t know.
Fuck. “Rachel, I—”
“No. Don’t you dare try to justify your actions. Don’t you dare.”
De’Shaun clears his throat at my back, wanting to get inside.
I could be a dick and not move, but I doubt that’d help my case. Instead, I take the opportunity to erase the space between me and Rachel. My fists
