me with a neutrality so perfectly polite that it was clear she
had no idea what I'd done with her boyfriend. But even here,
in the girls' locker room, as far away from Chance as I was
likely to get in this school, I felt his presence still. Why did
I let such a cad have such power over me? Why had I let him
treat me the way I did? And I hadn't just hoped he'd kissed
me, either. I'd gone straight up to him and gone for the kill
myself. I'd kissed him.
Maybe it was all just in my head. The flames at the
luau, the looks we'd shared at the dance, our electric
connection – maybe I'd invented them all as part of a stupid
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crush. Maybe he'd never had any interest in me at all. After
all, from insulting me at the dance to pulling away from our
last kiss, he'd done his best to push me away. Maybe he was
making it clear that he wasn't interested – and I was just
being desperate and pathetic, little better than a stalker.
But then why did he stare at me in that way, so full
of desire, of longing? Why did he speak to me of danger,
tempt me with that kiss up on the mountain. Surely he could
have found another way to save me from those men –
whoever they were – if he was that intent on pushing me
away. He didn't have to kiss me – and he certainly didn't have
to kiss me that hard. He was leading me on; I knew it now.
He was doing his best to drive me crazy on purpose. Because
it was fun? Because he was cocky enough to think he could
get away with it?
I sighed as I pushed my way out of the locker room
and into the hall. I was flushed from the exertion and the
exercise, but also from the embarrassment. Had anyone seen
the way Chance had treated me, I wondered? Did the other
boys in my class know how I felt about him? I put my hands
to my face, as if imagining that I could feel signs of my
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shame there.
No, I decided – no more. It was clear that, whether
Chance liked me or not, he certainly wasn't interested in
having anything to do with me. And I wasn't going to go out
and embarrass myself by running after him or trying to kiss
him again. In any case, I had Varun and Brandon, didn't I?
Varun was certainly hot but also kind, sweet, and handsome,
and who seemed interested in me. Someone who had been
polite and unfailingly gentle to me since I had known him.
How could I be stupid enough to chase the flames of my
passion with Chance, when I had the potential for a great
relationship already with Varun?
And Brandon? He was playful, fun, and someone
who got along with everyone like Varun did, but wasn’t a
Cutter so he had an outsider perspective. He didn’t seemed
to have that history between the Cutter Cousins. Popular like
Varun and Chance, he was also known as one of the Princes
of Paradise. He also didn’t seem to mind me being with
Varun or Varun minding me being with Brandon.
Enough, I thought. Maybe Chance liked to play these
games, but I sure didn't. I wanted someone who wanted me
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just as badly – and right now that person was Varun. I closed
my eyes as I thought once more of our kiss in the garden. His
lips were so light, so tender – like the landing of a
hummingbird. His arms made me feel protected, calm and
safe. His blue eyes were wide and full of kindness. He was
– in every respect so far – the perfect guy. And was I really
about to jeopardize all that for an opportunity to score a
commitment-phobic cheater like Chance?
And if Varun was as good a best friend to Brandon,
and it was fine with him about Brandon…
I scoffed. I just had to force myself to forget the
imprint Chance had left on my body when we danced, when
we kissed. I had to forget the way my blood burned, the way
my eyes saw flames dancing around him, the way the heat
prickled and overwhelmed my skin. I had to forget it all. I
had to be strong.
Never mind that the feeling of his lips on mine,
involuntarily remembered, sent me reeling. Never mind all
that.
I was interrupted from my reverie by the calling of
my name.
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“Mac!” Varun appeared from around the corner, his
book bag slung over one shoulder. I smiled to see him. He
looked as handsome and as happy as ever, his normally-
soaked hair uncharacteristically dry. “I'm so sorry I didn't
call you, Mac,” Varun flushed. “You see – I'm an idiot. I
forgot to get your number. I came over to your
