“OK good, I am so sorry sweetheart for your lost, but I have a good feeling about the Montgomery’s. I think you will be much happier there than where you grew up.”
“Ok Miss Delilah, I trust you.” I couldn’t help my eyes from watering, but part of me knew I needed to reassure Miss Delilah. The other part of me knew she was wrong. I just wish I wasn’t right.
Chapter Two
Madison
Present
“Sometimes Madison, the only thing left we can do is forgive. You can’t go back and change what happened. You can’t go back and change your father’s actions or your mother’s reaction. She chose to save you and your father made his choice. There was nothing you could have done differently in that situation. You need to start living your life.” Said my fifth therapist in the past four years. After getting kicked out of two other foster homes since the Montgomery’s, Miss Delilah ended up fostering me. We made a deal after I turned eighteen, If I stayed at her house, attend community college for a year to get my grades up, and go to therapy every week, she would pay for me to attend St. John’s University and let move in an off campus apartment with Stella.
“Ok Doc, I’ll take note on that and let you know how it goes. You know the four other therapists before you came up with the same crock of shit, but let me tell you something. Nothing you say will take the image of my mother’s cold dead eyes staring back up at me while I held her in my little arms or how I had to watch a man with no remorse, shoot himself in his heartless chest.” I might have agreed to this, but I couldn’t take it seriously anymore. After ten years, I don’t think simply telling me to forgive that bastard was going to fix me.
“Madison, you’re speaking out of anger. If you just tried our methods to start forgiving and moving on, I guaranteed you will start a happier journey” Doctor Fully looked up at me from whatever he just scribbled down on his pad.
“Oh poor Doc Full of Shit, I don’t buy what your selling and if you were smart, you’ll pass me on to the next poor sap.” I pulled a joint out of my pocket and stared out the window. These doctors didn’t understand, nothing they said would ever take the images of my father murdering my mama and what happened at the Montgomery’s out of my head.
Dr. Fully took my joint and threw it out. I don’t even know why I take one with me because every time I do, he just confiscates it. “Listen, I’m going to cut the doctor shit and tell you person to person. I get what you went through in those last four years at the Montgomery’s was horrible. I couldn’t imagine living through what you did. I realize what I say isn’t going to magically heal you, but I want to get you to that road of healing.” He looked at me like I might just finally agree. I never believed in happy endings and I didn’t need for him to delve into that also, so I started to put my coat on to head out.
“Madison, just wait a second. Can you promise me you’ll call me any day or time if you need to talk?” He said with hope in his eyes. I did like that he is taking a real approach instead of the robotic doctor bullshit, so I agreed.
“Ok Doc, I can do that.”
“I’ll take that as a step forward on the journey to happiness.” He couldn’t even keep a serious face when he said it. I couldn’t help the slight smile I had creeping out either.
“Ok Doc, will travel down the yellow brick road of happiness that you magically think will appear. I think soon I am going to have to charge you for a session of what is reality and what is a figment of your imagination.” I laughed while walking out the door into the South Carolina heat.
While walking home, I had to admit Dr. Fully wasn’t that bad. He was definitely better than the doctors I had in the past few years. The shit I gave him never fazed him and I like that he was the most realist out of the others. At thirty five years old, give or take, he was more understanding to my methods of coping and at least showed his real side to relate to me. Well he did try the serious doctor robotic speeches in the beginning, but I brought out the real him towards the end of our sessions. I would never tell him so, but he was the one out of the other therapists that I actually kind of liked.
When I got back to Delilah’s house, a brand new Camry was sitting in our driveway. It looked expensive which made me nervous as to who could be here. I walked inside and Delilah called out, “Madison dear, is that you?”
She sounded like she was in the kitchen, so I headed in there to see who else could be here. To my surprise no one was here, just Delilah sitting at the kitchen table reading one of those god awful gossip magazines. With her being in her late thirties, always wearing a cardigan, and having her red hair in a bun, you would expect her to be drinking wine and reading a classic novel instead. The real Delilah though has two guilty pleasures that consisted of reading gossip magazines while having a Bud Light.
“Whose car is in the driveway?”
“Surprise!” Delilah drops her magazine and jumps up to hug me. What in the hell is going on?
“Did you finally retire that dinosaur you like to call a car?” I turned around and grabbed a soda out of the fridge. As soon as I take a sip, she decides
