I shook my head no, but he gave me a look that he wasn’t taking no for an answer. I decided it was now or never to tell him the truth, so I whispered, “The day you left.”
Jude turned away and started to punch the tree behind him. This was an anger that I never knew Jude could have. When he finally finished his hands were left bloody and raw, but he didn’t even notice. He was looking at me with so much sadness and said, “What a sick fucking bastard. God you were only a kid. I knew, I fucking knew something was happening, but I didn’t want to do or say anything that could have us getting separated. Please tell me the truth the night before when we got caught outside, what happened after?”
I replayed that night and the next day over and over again in my head. I didn’t hesitate to tell him, “He took our phones and then I went up to my room terrified he was going to hurt me for disobeying him, but surprisingly he never showed. The next morning Mrs. Montgomery woke me up and made me go shopping all day with her. When I returned I went to your room to tell you I made a mistake telling you no, but you and your stuff were gone. I stormed in Mr. Montgomery’s office, demanding to know what happened. He told me you ran away and then…then he raped me.” I barely could get the last three words out of my mouth, but it felt like the heaviness was starting to life a little more now that Jude knew the truth.
“Fuck! How can I be so fucking stupid! All this time I blamed you for me ending up at the Dolan’s, when you were living in a worst hell. I swear if I knew I would have gotten us out.” He held my face with both of his hands and asked, “What can I do now to make things right?”
“Make me forget.” I needed more than ever a distraction to get my mind off off the past.
“Are you sure?” He leaned in and whispered in my ear. My heart was racing and I felt like I could barely breathe, but I was able to nod yes.
Jude started to slowly kiss behind my ear to down my neck. I felt my skin covered in goosebumps and my nipples starting to harden. I haven’t touched him since Halloween night and I wanted more. He must of felt the same way because before we were going slow to now he was tearing off my shirt. I unzipped his fly and he lifted me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. In one second he was inside me and I never felt so full. He drove in and out of me while I ran my fingers through his hair, grabbing it tight when he started to suck on my nipple. Before I knew it, I felt my body explode and he wasn’t too far behind me.
It was risky having sex in the woods where the field party was only a short distance away, but in that moment we didn’t care. Out of the other two times we had sex, this time felt different. It was like we were finally able to enjoy each other without all of the hate, secrets, and lies weighing us down. It felt like this was the start of a fresh new beginning…so I thought.
“You have to be fucking kidding me!” Knox’s voice boomed. Jude turned his head, but kept his body on me to cover me up.
“Knox! We can explain.”
“I don’t think there’s anything to explain. You’re nothing but a liar. And you, you were suppose to be my best friend! How could you go after the one girl I love?” My mouth dropped in shock. I never thought Knox’s feelings ran that deep for me. Jude didn’t seem to believe him either.
“So almost fucking two blondes on top of her is love?” Jude zipped up his pants and handed me my shirt. He stormed over to Knox who looked even more angrier before.
“You want to bring that up, well why don’t we tell Madison what you did! I found out it was you behind that photo of her getting passed around and all the rumors. I bet Madison has no idea that you are the one who enlisted Chanel in to torturing her or how about tossing her in a pool where she almost drowned.” The first few things wasn’t anything I didn’t know, but telling Chanel to throw me in the pool was shocking. I gave Jude a quick look that said we will talk about that later, but his eyes were focused on Knox. I couldn’t even look at Knox anymore, so I kept my eyes on the ground.
“You have to be kidding me. He did all that terrible shit to you, but you will still pick him over me.” His voice went from angry to heartbroken and it hurt to see him like that. Even though I didn’t love him the way he loved me, I still love him as a friend.
“Why didn’t you two just tell me?” Knox looked between Jude and me.
“I thought by ignoring my feelings for Madison that they would go away. I tried dude so many times to ignore them because I thought I hated her over something that I thought she did in the past.” I grabbed Jude’s hand and squeezed it to reassure him that I forgive him. He gave me a small smile in which Knox just scoffed at.
“Knox.” I said softly. “We were, it’s all just…”
“Save it.” He turned around and headed back towards the party.
I went to go after him, but Jude grabbed my elbow
