But by the time the second week had passed, the nagging feeling had become a jarring discord in the harmony of his days. He’d tried to go to Emiline’s house to see Kaarina, but Emiline said she’d gone for a walk. Another day, he tried again; this time, Emiline said that Kaarina was busy and couldn’t come to talk to him. He was beginning to get alarmed and frustrated as he found every attempt to see her thwarted.
On the seventh day, when the work ceased, Landwulf had time to reflect on his labors. He went to the worship service at the dingstat in the center of the village. It was good to be worshiping in his home village again. He only wished that Kaarina could be with them. If she were there, he would look across the room to where the women sat and catch her eye. She would smile and blush, hoping that no one would notice the look that passed between them. It would be the best feeling on earth to see her face shining with love for him, the same kind of love he had for her.
His daydreams were interrupted by the end of the service. They sang a hymn then filed out into the bright daylight to go to their homes for the midday meal. The afternoon would be spent resting or visiting, caring for the sick or elderly, or making handicrafts to give to those in need. It was a rhythm of life that felt familiar and safe and Landwulf looked forward to the weekly rest day.
But today, he felt restless. He wondered what Kaarina was doing. Whatever it was, it seemed unlikely that he would have any success in getting to see her. He decided to go for a walk along the beach to clear his head. Normally, he would ask his brothers if they wanted to come but today, he felt like being alone to sort out the turmoil swirling around in his mind. He set off quickly, walking away from the village, his head down. He hardly noticed the sunlight playing hide and seek with the clouds, turning the lazy sea from grey to green to grey again. The birds sang their hearts out, but he didn’t hear them, either. He was too busy wrestling with his problem. Why wouldn’t Kaarina talk to him? What could he do about it?
CHAPTER 11
K aarina sat on a log that had washed up on the beach, gazing out to sea. She had found this secluded little patch of beach on one of her long walks, well away from the village. She’d started to like the sea; it was always moving, always displaying different moods. This was her favorite place to come on the seventh day. Since Landwulf had returned home, she’d stopped going to the dingstat to worship with everyone else. She didn’t want to meet him or hear any gossip about his new bride.
Being alone on the beach was lonely sometimes but it was also strangely comforting. She spent time talking to God and always returned feeling refreshed and at peace.
She thought about how Eira didn’t quite understand it.
“I don’t know how you can spend hours talking to a god that you can’t see,” Eira had said.
“I don’t know, it just feels right,” Kaarina replied. “I always feel peaceful after I spend time talking to Him. Maybe you should try it.”
Now, as her stomach began to rumble, she thought about returning home to eat. Emiline allowed her to do as she pleased on the seventh day and sometimes, Kaarina was gone for the whole day, wandering along the seashore or up into the woods. She felt safe here; the Christians enjoyed a good reputation among their neighbors and no one bothered them.
She got to her feet and started walking towards the village, stopping occasionally to admire a shell or pretty stone along the way. Her eyes scanned the sand for anything pretty or collectable that she could slip in her pocket to take home. She was so used to being alone on this beach that it never occurred to her that she might meet another person.
“Hello, Kaarina,” said a voice just in front of her.
She stifled a scream, fear racing along her spine. Landwulf stood in front of her, concern in his blue eyes as he saw how afraid she was.
“I am sorry. I did not mean to startle you,” he said.
“I was not expecting to see anyone,” she told him. “Now, if you will excuse me, I am going home.”
“Kaarina, can we talk?”
“No, Landwulf. Now, if you’ll excuse me …”
“Kaarina.” He stepped forward so that he was standing in her way. “Why will you not talk to me?”
“Do you even need to ask, Landwulf?”
“I am asking you because I do not know.”
She huffed out a breath of exasperation. “Is it not obvious? Or must I say it clearly?”
“Say it clearly. I am a simple man, remember.”
“Let us see. You went away without even saying goodbye. I was told by others that you had gone to find a wife from among your own people. Now you are back and building her a house! Did it not occur to you that these things would hurt my heart?”
He looked stricken. “I am sorry, Kaarina.”
“Well, now you know why I do not wish to talk to you. You are happy and full of wedding plans and I do not wish to hear about them.”
“Kaarina! It is not what you think!”
“I am sorry, Landwulf. It has taken me a long time to be happy again. I do not wish to lose what I have gained now. I really must be going.” She stepped around him and started walking towards the village.
