Tonight, the sea was black and still, but a pale moon shone down from the deep inky blue of the sky and its reflection glittered off the water. A sea mist had begun to roll into the bay obscuring everything in its path and blurring the hard edges of the buildings. Tallulah asked if she could take a drinks order and Tom turned to Nell.
‘Are you on the sauce tonight or driving?’
‘Definitely drinking,’ she replied, looking around her once more. The cutlery was more reflective than her mirror at home. She didn’t get many nights off because it depended on when Zoe could work but as she was covering tonight, Nell wanted to make the most of it, plus she needed some courage. The odd gin and tonic normally did the trick.
‘Then can I get a plain gin and tonic and a glass of house red, please?’ Tom said. With a slight nod of the head, Tallulah disappeared off. ‘I thought house wine would be the cheapest option.’
‘Good idea. Have you noticed there’s no music? Or is there? I think I can hear something.’
‘You can, it’s really faint, though. Something classical, I think.’
The faint sounds of Christmas chimes met Nell’s ears. ‘It’s a bit boring, isn’t it? I much prefer a cheesy Christmas bop or a cheerful carol. A bit of a Ding dong merrily on high.’ She sang it a little too loudly and the table next to them sneered. Nell hunkered down into her seat as Tom studied her unimpressed expression.
‘Is it the music or me making you look like that?’
‘Definitely the music,’ she replied, pulling herself straighter. ‘This place is a bit scary. And fancy. But we always manage to have a nice time when we’re together so despite the fact that this place makes me shaky, I am happy to be here with you.’
‘You might want to tell your face that.’
She stuck her tongue out and they both laughed. Without fail, whether they were clearing blocked drains at the hotel or having dinner at the pub, they always spent their time together laughing and joking. ‘I’m just a bit worried. My restaurant’s not even half the size of this and if the food here is good—’
‘This isn’t like you, Nell. You’re normally much more optimistic. Are you sure there’s not something else going on?’
Nell rolled her shoulders back, trying to relax, but the fact was her subconscious had been throwing up some weird thoughts lately. ‘Do you ever feel like you’ve reached a turning point in your life? A crossroads?’ Tom raised an eyebrow. ‘Clearly not. Well, since I went wedding dress shopping with Cat, I’ve been doing some thinking.’
‘That sounds dangerous.’
She flashed her eyes at him. ‘I’ve realised that lately something feels different. This feels like a big, momentous time in my life with Cat getting married and the hotel not doing so well. I’ve been re-evaluating things.’
It wasn’t that she was suddenly on the lookout for a husband because her best friend was getting married, but she did miss having some romance in her life and at this time of year she particularly wished for a love that was both powerful and romantic with someone who knew her inside and out. Someone to really get into the Christmas spirit with and spend long winter nights cuddled up to. Since going wedding dress shopping with Cat, the idea had been growing more and more that, though she would love someone to be with, until that happened she should make the most of being single and do all the things she’d wanted to do but hadn’t.
‘It’s not that I don’t want to fight for the hotel, you know how much I love that place, but I think I need to be realistic and figure out what I’ll do if things don’t work out because that’s looking like a real possibility. It’s heartbreaking because I love Holly Lodge, and maybe it’s my defences going up, but I feel like I need to be prepared for the worst.’
‘Hang on. You and reality have never been the best of friends—’
‘We have when it comes to business.’ She knew he was teasing and made her tone light to match it, but how could she make it clearer to him? ‘You know in You’ve Got Mail when Meg Ryan loses her bookshop?’ He nodded. She’d made him watch it so many times he knew that film as well as she did. ‘She’s fought hard for her lovely little bookshop, but lost, and now she has to figure out what she really wants to do. I feel a bit like that. I want to keep the hotel – it’s my life – but what happens if I don’t make it through this rocky patch? I’m going to do everything I can but maybe this is the time to make a change if ever I’m going to. The wedding fair’s a good idea but it’s a bit last-chance saloon and if the business doesn’t start to improve soon, maybe I should do something else.’
Tom was looking really concerned now. ‘What sort of change? Become a wedding planner or something? You do love weddings.’
‘I hadn’t actually thought of that.’ She stored that idea away for later. ‘If I have to sell up, I thought maybe I could do something big like go travelling. I’ve never been anywhere—’
‘You’ve never wanted to go anywhere.’
‘I might now. Oh, I don’t know.’ She drummed her fingers on the table. ‘Lately I’ve been imagining visiting all the places I’ve never had the chance to with being tied to the hotel.’
‘You and your imagination.’ Tom’s concern was fading a little. ‘If that’s what you want, have a holiday. I’ve told you before I can look after the place for you.’
‘That’s not
