‘She didn’t tell me that.’ Kieran bristled, and surprisingly carried on talking. While Nell was glad he was opening up to her, he’d normally talk like this with Tom and she wondered why he wasn’t. ‘Why is she shutting down on me? She used to tell me everything. I’m not even sure she wants to get married anymore.’
‘Don’t say that, Kieran. It’s not true. She does want to marry you. She texted me the other day about changing the colour of the party favours. She wouldn’t be doing that if she didn’t want to marry you, would she? She wouldn’t care what colour they were if she wasn’t planning to go through with it.’
As Niall disappeared back to the kitchen, Cat came over. ‘What’s up, honey?’
‘Nothing,’ Kieran mumbled. The strain was clear on his face and after a big swig of his beer, he walked out into the conservatory and on into the garden. They watched him go, Nell consumed with guilt that she hadn’t been able to reassure him more.
‘What’s up with him?’ Cat asked. ‘Grumpy git.’ Nell turned and from Cat’s reaction, her surprise clearly showed on her face. ‘What?’
‘Cat, don’t you see Kieran’s worried that you’re flirting with Niall or that he’s flirting with you and it’s upset him.’
Cat’s eyes widened in surprise then narrowed accusingly. ‘Did you tell him about that first time I was a bit … over the top because you said you wouldn’t. You did, didn’t you? How could you, Nell?’
‘Of course I didn’t tell him. And I’m sure you didn’t mean anything just now, with Niall it looked—’
‘What?’
Nell tried to keep everything under control. ‘I think to Kieran it looked a bit off. And because you’ve been changing your mind about wedding stuff and not talking to him, he’s worried you don’t want to marry him.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake. I am allowed to change my mind about things. Honestly, between you, Kieran and my mum, I wish I wasn’t getting married.’
‘If Brenda’s still being difficult, let us help you talk to her and sort it out. You don’t have to do everything on your own, Cat.’
‘I don’t want to do this now, Nell. This is a party and I’d really like to enjoy myself for once.’ Cat stalked off into the throng of people and disco lights and Nell lost her in the crowd. Feeling the heat of the exchange in her cheeks she went into the garden to cool down.
The night had started off so well and now it was falling apart. This morning with Cat had felt like old times. Nell knew this short-tempered, changeable version wasn’t the real one but the real one was getting buried deeper and deeper and if that continued, she’d ruin her whole life. Nell took a moment to stare at the dark, starry night. A thick cloud passed over the brightest star and Nell wrapped her arms around her to keep warm in the still, cold air. The lights strung around the garden made her feel slightly warmer as her affection for the place replaced some of her worries. From the corner of her eye she saw Tom sitting in the conservatory, his head dipped, toying with his beer bottle. Seeing her chance, and needing to rest her feet, she went and sat next to him.
Being close to him filled every one of her nerves with anticipation and a longing to reach out and touch him. ‘Hey, you,’ Nell said, gently leaning into his shoulder. ‘Are you okay?’
Tom’s eyes searched her face and from their lacklustre appearance she could tell that something was wrong. ‘I’m fine,’ he replied with a shrug and began to peel the label from his beer.
Hoping that his anxiety came from thinking her feelings weren’t returned, Nell decided to speak. Willing her heart to stop beating so fast, she absorbed the magic from the Christmas music, the twinkling fairy lights and winter moon shining down on them. ‘Listen, Tom, I wanted to talk to you about something.’
‘Oh?’ His shoulders stiffened.
‘It’s not bad. At least I don’t think so.’ She gave a nervous laugh, but Tom didn’t look like he wanted to hear anything. He wasn’t looking at her so much tonight and she missed it, but maybe her news would change that. ‘So, Kieran told me that—’
‘Listen, Nell. I don’t mean to be rude but if Kieran’s been moaning about Cat and Cat’s been moaning about Kieran, I just can’t get involved in it right now. Okay? They …’ Nell shook her head trying desperately to get the words out, but he hadn’t stopped talking. ‘They’re old enough to sort things out for themselves and I’ve got enough on my plate. So just leave them to it, all right? You can’t solve this one for them. It’s not a movie, it’s real life.’ And with that, he walked away.
Nell remained where she was, wrapped in a thin, hollow silence. Had he known what she was going to say and decided he didn’t feel that way about her after all? Was that why he’d given that out-of-character monologue then stalked off inside? Nell felt tears sting her eyes and a few escaped down her cheeks. She wiped them away and tried to stop her lip from wobbling. Arnold, the mayor’s husband, stumbled out into the conservatory completely sloshed. His teeth had turned almost black, stained from the decadent red wine punch and there was a purplish line around his lips. It was a good job they didn’t have any live flames because if he’d neared one, he’d have gone off like a rocket. ‘Nell Jones. Nelly puddles. Nelly the elephant.’
‘Oh, geez.’ Nell rolled her eyes. If he started singing the song, no jury would convict her for her actions.
