‘Thanks, Tracey. You’re amazing. I really appreciate your advice.’
‘No problem, Tom.’ Her gaze was soft and motherly. ‘Once you’ve got your bearings it won’t seem so grim. I promise. I’ve seen it time and time again, here.’ She motioned around her, and Tom saw only happy faces before him. Though they were a different age group to him, and many of their problems were the result of advancing years, he supposed it wouldn’t lessen the loss of freedom they felt, and yet, they were all content. He just had to make adjustments and if he did, he might even have years left. Janie would pass her driving test soon he was sure, and then she could do deliveries too. Maybe he could make her deputy manager? She was young but so full of ideas and he loved working with her. Suddenly there seemed to be any number of possibilities in front of him.
‘You’re a wonder, Tracey,’ Nigel commented.
‘Oh, stop that flattery, you. It doesn’t mean you’ve earned back your mince pies.’
‘Worth a try,’ Grandad mumbled.
Tom knew of all her residents she was very fond of Nigel and his cheeky ways. ‘I’ve got to get back to the desk but if there’s anything I can do, Tom, just ask, won’t you?’
‘I will, Tracey. Thanks.’
Nigel didn’t speak for a moment and then he asked the question Tom had been dreading. ‘So, what does Nell say about all this?’ When he didn’t reply, Nigel’s voice turned stern just as it had when Tom was a boy and he’d broken something in Grandad’s house from charging around playing pirates. ‘Tom?’
‘I haven’t told her yet.’
‘Why not?’ It was a good question, and one he’d avoided thinking about as much as possible.
‘Because she’s got enough to worry about with Holly Lodge and the bad reviews and Cat’s wedding.’ It was the excuse he’d constantly told himself and it had worked well so far, but it didn’t convince Grandad.
‘Who have you told?’
‘Only you and Kieran.’
‘Interesting.’ Grandad Nigel paused. ‘And why did you feel you could tell us and not Nell?’
‘I don’t know. I just don’t want her feeling sorry for me.’
‘What? Utter rot. Because you’ve been too busy feeling sorry for yourself, you mean.’ Tom felt his mouth drop open. Nigel began patting his hand. ‘Enough of this silliness and self-pity. It’s time to start getting your life sorted out, Thomas.’ The use of his full name meant he was really in trouble. Grandad had always been this way. He was of a generation that had been forced to deal with and do so much, there wasn’t time for self-pity, and it was an attitude Tom admired. ‘Having someone empathise or even feel sorry that you’re going through something horrible, isn’t a terrible thing. It means people care and they want to be there for you. Don’t you think people want to be there for you, boy?’
‘Yes,’ Tom mumbled.
‘Speak up, lad.’
‘Yes,’ he replied more clearly.
‘So, now you’ve finished with the excuses, what’s the real reason you haven’t told Nell? Time for honesty now, lad.’
Tom shrank from saying the words out loud. With everything he’d been brave enough to say already today it made him feel silly, but Grandad was right. It was time for honesty. ‘Because I love her, and I don’t want her being upset. And I really regret that I’ve never told her before now how I feel about her.’
‘Is the prospect of telling her really that scary? What’s the worst that can happen? If she says no standing to the side of you, you won’t even see her expression.’ Momentarily shocked into silence, Tom then erupted into laughter. ‘But seriously, lad, how would you feel if you don’t tell her before your sight fails? Don’t you want to see the look on her face when you tell her you love her, and she tells you the same?’
Tom had never thought about it before, but Grandad was right. He did want to tell Nell, and if there was even the slightest chance she felt the same way, he had to try. Closing his eyes he made a Christmas wish that she might love him as much as he loved her. And there was only one way of finding out. He had to tell her before it was too late.
***
Cat and Nell departed the café with hugs and a list of things for Nell to sort out so the hotel was ready for the wedding Cat and Kieran had originally wanted. Back at Holly Lodge, she’d begun ticking things off in an attempt to keep herself occupied and not think about the prospect of losing Mr Scrooge, or whatever his name really was.
With Harry now gone after a quick, professional goodbye, the hotel was silent. Nell felt incredibly lonely and wanted more than anything for Tom to be there with her. Another bad review had landed and with it, the loss of any chance of securing some midweek bookings before the wedding. She’d tried calling Tom to talk to him about Cat and the crazy phone call this morning, but he hadn’t answered. Even with several voicemails, he hadn’t responded. He’d been so angry with her at the party. With a heavy heart, she heard someone enter through the open front door and a voice call from the hallway. Leaving her list, she went to see the man who had phoned about Mr Scrooge.
He stood awkwardly, his hands in his coat
