I was pretty sure that no night ever would.
Things took a weird turn when Alex reached back out to me a few months later and asked, on behalf of Zoey, to remove all traces of her from LTZ’s social. It meant that I had to let Ty know I was in contact with his ex’s best friend and tell him that Zoey had indirectly reached out to me but still wouldn’t speak to Ty. I was furious because it put me in a horrible position. I refused to take any action without Ty’s approval, and he was visibly crushed but acquiesced immediately. Even after she hurt him deeply, he still wanted to take care of her.
Alex tried to defend Zoey, which I found somewhat endearing because she was a loyal friend. I was loyal too—to Ty. He was my priority. It took six solid weeks to chase down all of the links and posts and get them removed. Ty’s utter devastation at knowing the love of his life would be erased from LTZ’s history was gut-wrenching. Those memories were what he clung to and kept him going. Now they were dust. The aftermath was agonizing. He retreated even further into his shell. His confidence was completely shot.
After that incident, I was ready to erase Alex out of my life for good in solidarity with our lead singer. I unfollowed her social, which had grown to epic proportions over the past few months. When I lost my phone, I took the opportunity to get a new number. Consequently, we lost touch.
A few months later, I received word that I was to be included in a photo shoot for Vanity Fair with other social media influencers. Glancing through the list, I was surprised to see that Alex was also invited. Apparently, she was in the throes of her own meteoric success and her reach had grown. She now had over five million followers. With those numbers, I couldn’t help but be proud of her exceeding her modest goals. People were probably paying her phenomenal money to endorse their products and her travel expenses were likely now covered in full.
Knowing we’d see each other in New York in the fall for the photo shoot, I refollowed her and sent a DM apologizing for being a shithead, together with my new phone number. Graciously, she replied, and we occasionally texted back and forth. Not before setting some ground rules, agreeing to keep our own friendship a friendship only and completely separate from the romantic drama of our BFFs (her words, not mine).
I hadn’t realized how much I needed to have a connection with a friend who had known me before I became famous. Sure, I had my family and friends at home, and my sister Jen was my rock. But, Alex was sorta famous too in her own right, so it was like having the best of both worlds. We could relate to this strange new life where people recognized us. We also knew each other for the people we were before the fame.
She and I had similar feelings about our new normal. Even though I was the least photographed member of the band, it was shocking to me at how many fan sites were dedicated to me. I was used to Ty and Zane being recognized, but now I couldn’t be out in public for too long without people figuring out who I was. To my utter humiliation, Alex had gleefully shared links to a few social accounts that were dedicated to me. “VikingJace” had over a million followers where fans tagged pictures of my hair. “OFaceJace” was newer but had close to three million followers and was filled with pictures of expressions I made when I played.
Although she didn’t have any embarrassing fan sites, Alex found it crazy that she was actually a “brand.” As a coveted “influencer,” companies paid her stupid money to pose with their products or visit their stores. Resorts begged her to stay in their finest rooms fully comped. Tourist boards of cities all over Europe invited her as a VIP. Billionaires wanted to pay her crazy money to join them on their yachts for a weekend, which so far, she had declined. But she taunted me mercilessly one night about changing her mind for the money.
We both loved what we were doing, though she was winning in the seeing-the-world department. None of us in the band were able to enjoy the cities we were playing in; our schedule was just too hectic. Living vicariously through her adventures, which were increasingly exotic, I was a bit envious that she had so much flexibility with her schedule. She was following her heart by volunteering at a horse rescue on Ibiza where she planned to stay the entire summer during the European tourist season.
My heart was strangely happy that we were back on good terms. My memories of our night together triggered something hopeful about seeing her again. When we got our tour dates, I realized Ibiza was only to be a hopper plane trip away from our show in Barcelona. I nearly invited her but had second thoughts thinking about how awkward it would be. No one but us knew we’d slept together. No one but us knew about our burgeoning friendship. Explaining her sudden presence to the guys, especially Ty, would be too weird.
I was still looking forward to Barcelona, the European tour gave us a lot more time in between shows. After the festival, we had three days off before the next gig. I had plans to take at least one day off to play tourist. Perhaps with a cute local girl to show me the sights.
Strolling the grounds of the festival on the day before the show, I filmed a lot of the set-up process for our social. Taking in the production from the stage rigging, to
