The reality is that Meghan’s needs and ambitions were simply incompatible with being a member of the Royal Family. But she was canny, and while she might have handled her exit in such a way that she has earned the contumely of the British people, she has nevertheless accomplished it in such a manner that she has set herself and Harry up successfully where matters to her: America. The way she did it says much about her. She understood the need for a good excuse. Like Diana Wales, who understood that she would lose supporters and her privileges if she admitted that she wanted her freedom, so blamed Charles for the collapse of her marriage when in fact she was more to blame than he was, Meghan had to come up with a better reason for leaving a situation most people would give an arm and a leg for. Rather than admitting, ‘I want the admiration of people, not criticism, and I also want to make hundreds of millions of dollars, billions if I can, and the palace is preventing me from doing it,’ she started saying that the royal way of life was ‘crushing my soul’ as well as ‘Harry’s’ and that she needed to get them out ‘for our mental health.’ In a few short sentences, Meghan had turned her desire to swap the limited and restraining royal platform for one which would give her the freedom of movement she required as well as the ability to control it, into a matter of life and death, with her and Harry at risk of a lifetime of mental illness.
Not everyone in Britain was blind to how astute Meghan was at spinning things in their favour. One courtier who admires what he calls her ‘unblinking sang froid’ said, ‘You wouldn’t’ve been able to blast her out of here with an atomic bomb if she’d been given free rein to make all the money she wants to.’ What Meghan wanted was the freedom to exploit herself and Harry to the maximum commercial advantage, while remaining a working member of the Royal Family. Even so, she would still have sought to create an American platform, not only because there she wanted to gain the approbation she needed but because she would be able to control the narrative more successfully with a tame American press rather than an uncontrollable British one.
At the palace there was genuine shock that Meghan would ‘stoop to using mental health as the cover for what is essentially greed and self-indulgence,’ as one courtier said. ‘Only spoilt brats think that their mental health is affected if they don’t get everything they want in life. Mature people cope with frustration and frustration is something that everyone has to cope with. You only have good mental health if you can cope with it positively. If you can’t, it means you’re a spoilt brat who needs to grow up.’ While her blogs indicate that she always had a propensity for believing that the frustration of not achieving her ambitions would affect her mental health, the palace misunderstood her attitude and believed that she was only exploiting it cynically, having become involved with Harry and discovering that he, William and Catherine already had such an interest in the topic that they had created the Heads Together movement in 2016.
In the mental health sector, there is a general awareness that you can remain mentally healthy even as life deals you a bad hand and you have to tailor your ambitions to reality, but there are times when life so overwhelms you that you need help. Mental health is not the same as facile happiness. It is coping well with what is happening even when things are not so good, or maybe when they’re so good that they disrupt your equilibrium. William and Harry were well known in Court circles to have had their own mental health issues resulting not only from Diana’s death, but from the emotional turbulence of their early life. They were the typical children of divorce, and this gave them an insight into how misery affects mental health. Catherine, on the other hand, was from a happy family, but her brother James Middleton had suffered from depression, demonstrating that a happy family background does not guarantee good mental health.
By alighting upon mental health, Meghan and Harry were placing themselves in an unarguable position whereby their desire to ‘stand on their own two feet’ and achieve ‘financial independence’ could be explained away as a ‘mental health’ issue. This had a powerful appeal to the younger generation, as well as to the Americans who were their ultimate target group. It also showed the palace what clever operators they were in spinning their ambitions into something with which their target audience could sympathise.
According to one of Harry’s friends, ‘Meghan thrives only when she’s able to do as she pleases. He used to thrive mostly when placed in a secure structure with clear boundaries and clarified expectations, like the Army.’ According to his friend, ‘Harry did not necessarily have to be doing only what he liked to be in a good space.’ He was happy to share his part of any load with colleagues, even when the tasks were not pleasant. As long as they were necessary, and made sense
