Harry and Meghan’s response was indicative of their attitudes. While he nodded graciously, completely in tune with the sentiments, she said, ‘Oh, thank you,’ before stating that her critics ‘don’t make it easy.’ She had missed the point entirely, which is that she now had a sacred duty to live up to, and no matter how difficult it was, she would be dashing the hopes people everywhere if she should fail. It was therefore beside the point whether her critics made it easy or not. Indeed, the mere fact that they did not was all the more reason to ensure that she succeeded in the role she now embodied.
Of course, it is not easy to live up to the expectations of others. Being royal is in many ways a thankless task, rather like being a secular nun, albeit one who is called upon to be a style icon. The personal rewards are there, but not in the emotional way that Meghan was used to either as a volunteer serving in soup kitchens or in the applause she would receive from a good performance in front of the camera or an audience at the UN. There is a very self-sacrificial aspect which is never entirely offset by the superficial glamour surrounding the high-profile aspects of royal life. Meghan was something of an expert on Diana, Princess of Wales. She will therefore have been familiar with Diana’s complaint to Princess Grace of Monaco on the occasion of her first official engagement with Prince Charles at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden. As Diana bemoaned how ‘horrendous’ she was finding all the public attention - attention, incidentally, which she ensured she maintained till the very end of her life: attention, in fact, which actively contributed to her death in that it could not have existed without the participation of the press, and this Diana was careful to nurture despite her protestations to the contrary - Grace said with equal parts of wit and truthfulness, ‘Don’t worry, dear. It will only get worse.’ And it did, though it never got so bad, for all Diana’s complaints to the contrary, that she swapped the approbation that came her way as a result of being the Princess of Wales, for a more retired way of life.
Plainly, Meghan was taking a leaf out of Diana’s book, resenting the demands and intrusions while contradictorily fulfilling the glamorous aspects the press and public demanded of their new style icon. Like Diana, who was also very in tune with her feelings, Meghan had conflicting attitudes to the pros and cons of being royal. Had she had a more open and less personal approach towards her new role of royal duchess, had she focused less on the sensations it generated within her and accepted the rough with the smooth in a more comprehensive manner, she would have been entirely in tune with what Pharrell Williams was saying. She would have realised that when the going gets tough, the tough get going - towards success, not towards complaints or self-pity. One way or the other, you are obliged to pay for your privileges, and though the downside was disagreeable, the upside should have been well worth the effort, especially if she hoped to undertake the massive humanitarian role she and Harry had indicated they intended for themselves.
Meghan’s adjustment to her royal role would have been more successful if someone close to her had pointed out that she had been perfectly happy to pay the price for being a cast member of Suits, and now that she had an even bigger role, with greater potential and more rewards, she should be focusing on the positives rather than wallowing in the negatives and jeopardising her chances of success as a result of her attitude. She had had no problem with keeping her feelings in their rightful place when she had been a working actress. She had willingly hung around the set waiting for her three minutes of filming while she shot the breeze with the film crew for hours on end. She had not objected to the hours of primping and priming when her hair and makeup were being done, when her costumes were being fitted, and she hung out affirming her status as a down-to-earth team player with the crew. She had willingly allowed herself to be used on publicity junkets and, when none was in the offing, had volunteered for others under the aegis of humanitarian work. Now she had well and truly arrived. Now she had the platform from which she could undertake all the philanthropic projects which had seemed to inspire her, and it was disappointing to learn that she seemed unable to realise that there was still a price to be paid.
In some ways, being royal was not that different from being an actress in a television series. Yes, there were differences. There was more scrutiny and you were expected to conform to entirely different standards, but if she had moved on to playing another role in another television show, she would not have expected, now that she had a new role, to call all the shots with scriptwriters, producers, directors, gaffers, cameramen, and everyone else associated with the new show the way she had been doing with everyone at court.
Having moved up in the world from minor to major stardom, her head seemed to have been turned and her sense of proportion displaced. Diana Wales had suffered a similar fate when she had married Prince Charles, but she had been half Meghan’s age and she at least had had the good grace to keep her struggles quiet until she was ready to bolt. Yet here was Meghan, barely married, already bemoaning her lot and wanting to be taken for a hardship case while also demanding that everyone do everything her way.
Success as a royal duchess was only possible if she remained a team player, if she understood that the game had
