The one inexcusable in the upper reaches of society has always been treating staff in an untoward way. No matter how charming you are to your equals, no matter how apparently philanthropic with good causes, if you get a reputation for treating employees unacceptably, it is akin to a man being known as a wife-beater. You can be as rude as you want to your friends, family or social equals. If you want to mistreat them, and they are dumb or weak enough to let you get away with it, that’s between you and them. They are your social equals, and therefore they are in a position to defend themselves. However, staff are not your social equals. They are therefore at a disadvantage from the word go. Treating them indecorously breaches every code of noblesse oblige, and as that matters greatly to people who regard nobility as a commendable aim in life, once you acquire a reputation for mistreating those who work for you, you lose a lot of respect and are viewed with suspicion.
It had been one thing for Meghan to acquire a reputation for being unfriendly towards Harry’s friends and family, but it now became quite another as word began to spread that she behaved dubiously towards people who were not in a position to defend themselves. Prior to the marriage, people had cut Meghan some slack when they heard about how she gave vent to her frustrations when her expectations were dashed. All brides lose their rag. She’s nervous. She’s only human. Give her time, she’ll settle down. She’s in a strange country.
Sometimes, the line between compassion and gullibility is a fine one. Most people prefer to give someone the benefit of the doubt. But when the doubts reverberate symphonically, the sound carries. So it now proved in Meghan’s case as first the elite, then the press, got wind of various incidents which she and Harry would be at pains to deny, but which did her reputation no good.
One incident which is meant to have taken place shortly after her marriage did not bode well for the future if it was not invented. Meghan, who is well known to be something of a perfectionist, was accused of hurling onto the floor a dress that had not been ironed to her exacting standards with the imprecation, ‘You call this pressed. This hasn’t been pressed. I want this pressed. Properly. Now.’ Could this be true? Could anyone with aspirations to civility speak to staff like that? Hopefully, this was nothing but Chinese whispers.
The next incident involving staff was even more astonishing. I only hoped that it too was apocryphal, though the more apocrypha there were, the more likely it was that the tales were rooted in the truth, even when exaggerated or twisted. This time Meghan was on tour. She lost her temper and threw a hot beverage in the direction of someone who had annoyed her. This had resulted in the member of staff resigning and being paid £250,000 to leave without disclosing the incident.
In a way, whether the incident had taken place or not was almost beside the point. If it had, it was appalling, and if it had not, it was equally appalling that stories like this were being spread about someone who had not behaved like that. Meghan and Harry were supposedly of the opinion that all the negative stories about her were racist or snobbish in origin, but this seemed unlikely for several reasons. Firstly, most of the people who were spreading these stories were not racist or snobbish. Many of them were frankly concerned with the way Meghan and Harry had been conducting themselves. They wanted them to behave in a less aggressive, assertive, and demanding manner. They felt the Sussexes’ attitudes were antagonistic and patronising when not being dogmatic and insulting. They wanted Harry and Meghan to conduct themselves the way William and Catherine did. They were often and openly at a loss as to what they could do to improve the situation, but Harry and Meghan were so caught up in their own bubble that they had become unreachable.
Then the departures began in earnest. One departure that was definitely not imagined was Senior Communications Secretary Katrina McKeever. She had been the liaison with Meghan’s family in the early days. She quietly left the Kensington Palace Press Office in September 2018 amidst reports of flurries of emails descending upon her from Meghan starting at 5am every morning. Meghan was a volcano erupting with idea after idea about how she wanted to shape her role. Her work ethic was formidable, and so, staff said, was she. Too much so.
Two months later, Meghan’s Personal Assistant Melissa Toubati left amidst claims that Meghan frequently reduced her to tears with her endless demands. Toubati had previously worked for Robbie Williams and Ayda Field, and was so capable that a palace source was authorised to praise her performance and make special note of the crucial role she had played in helping to organise the royal wedding.
To those in the know, this was code for Meghan being impossible, though Meghan and Harry themselves believed that their demands were reasonable. They were on a quest to save the world and nothing mattered more than that cause. If people were petty and needlessly negative, they had no place in the grand scheme of things. Meghan had a strong work ethic so drove herself and everyone else hard. Harry appreciated her commitment and, by his own account, her values. She gave of her all, and expected others to do likewise. If the fainthearted wanted to discard themselves by the wayside, they were entitled to do so. But they mustn’t expect her to deviate from her path of righteousness because they were too weak to stay the course.
Two months after Melissa Toubati’s tearful departure, the revolving door again creaked into action when it was announced
