“Where are my clothes?” I exclaim when I jerk the covers down and my hair blows all in my face.
“You took them off,” Roman replies. “You don’t remember getting naked in the hot tub?”
“No!”
“You did. Then you kept climbing up on me, begging me to take my boxer briefs off and fuck you.”
“No, I didn’t,” I gasp as I sit up in bed while clutching the sheets to my bare chest. I can’t believe Roman has seen me completely naked! So much for Adam being the only man who has seen all of my flesh…
“You did.”
“Oh,” I reply since Roman isn’t a liar, a fact I’m certain of. “And? Did we…you know?” I ask as I comb my hair out of my burning red face.
“No, we didn’t,” he responds, which is a relief. “Well, we did stuff, but we didn’t fuck. I knew you were drunk and not thinking straight.”
“So, what exactly did we do?” I ask him.
“That…is something you’ll have to remember on your own,” he responds with a grin. “If you can’t, then it’s like it never happened; right?”
“But something did happen?”
“Oh, yeah. Something happened all right. You were persistent, and despite my repeated refusals, I eventually caved.”
“You refused and yet I kept asking…”
“I wouldn’t say ask. More like begged,” he says smugly. “Now, I would love to stay and torture you a little longer with all the details, but I have to get to work. See you later?”
“Unless I dissolve into a huge puddle of embarrassment before then.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Roman says with a chuckle. “You’ve gone through a lot lately and are worried about Tessa. So what if you drank a little too much and let loose? Only you and I were there.”
“You were there. I was…not in my right mind apparently.”
Chuckling, Roman says, “I knew you would react this way, so I’m glad I kept my hands to myself. Mostly. I did put one where you demanded it…” With that final hint, he heads out the bedroom door. “See you tonight, Charlotte!”
“Bye,” I call out. When the door shuts, I flop back down on the mattress since I’m not yet ready to get out of bed and face the reality of the night before.
What the hell did we do? Or did I do?
Closing my eyes tight to ease the relentless throbbing headache, I try and focus on what I actually do remember from yesterday. I went to see Tessa; she asked me to break up with Paul; I did and felt horrible, so I stopped at the store to grab a bottle of wine that I immediately went to work on as soon as I locked myself up tight in Roman’s house. Did I eat anything other than breakfast yesterday morning? No, I don’t think I did. In which case, the alcohol would’ve hit my system harder than usual, which explains why I feel so hungover today. Oh, and then Roman came home! I definitely remember hearing his motorcycle, which caused the tension in my back and shoulders to ease up knowing he was back, because I feel so much safer when he’s around. I believe the two of us sat at the table together before going outside…
The hot tub! That’s right. We got into the hot tub, and I…oh jeez. I got in wearing just my bra and panties. I do vaguely remember climbing on Roman’s lap and kissing him but don’t recall if I was wearing anything or not…probably not. Then, he was touching me between my spread legs, easing a finger inside while another rubbed my clit until I… Oh yeah, I came so hard for him I’m surprised an earthquake wasn’t reported in the area. God, it was freaking amazing, that part I do recall very clearly. After that, though, I don’t remember anything before I woke up feeling like crap this morning.
But despite the blankness of some of my memories, I have no doubt that Roman was a complete gentleman who didn’t take advantage of my drunken and horny state. He probably just carried me to bed and tucked me in.
Oh, but I definitely remember how long and thick he was underneath me in the hot tub. He was as hard as a rock, and I didn’t even touch his dick once while he got me off easier than turning the key on his bike. So apparently, I’m not just a slutty drunk; I’m also a selfish drunk.
Having put together the pieces of the night before, I’m finally ready to get a shower and face the day, even though things will probably be awkward with Roman from now on. How could they not, now that he’s seen me act like a fool and touched me so intimately? I’ve messed everything up, thrown the whole “take things slow” declaration I made right out the window, making myself seem like the biggest hypocrite in the world.
All I want is to go back in time and not drink so much.
No, I can’t say that either. I enjoyed myself too much to wish it away. I think I would rather go back in time and reciprocate the gesture to even things up between Roman and I.
Since there’s no time machine sitting around, I guess I’ll have to do the next best thing – try and even the score tonight…
God, I wish I could talk to Tessa about this, about Roman, but I know I can’t. Right now, I need to focus on seeing her through to the other side of her trauma, not whining about something so trivial as my dating life or lack thereof.
So, for now, I’ll just have to go with my
