“Yeah, well, a heads-up would’ve been nice,” I mutter.
“Why?” Cass asks. “Why do you care if a guy I’m seeing joins us and eleven other men?”
“Maybe I’m just confused after you kissed me like the world was ending the other night and then you’re climbing up on his lap and shit.”
“I-I kissed you?” she asks.
“Oh yeah,” I reply, glad to finally get it out in the open. “I was putting you in bed and then boom, you were attacking me!”
“Attacking?” she gasps. “No. I wouldn’t have! That’s crazy.”
“Believe me, you did!”
“I don’t remember,” Cass says. “But if I did, I’m sorry. I must have been confused and thought you were someone else.”
“No, you knew it was me.”
“How can you be so certain? I’m seeing Eddie and Mike…”
“You said my name, Cass! You begged me to keep kissing you, and then you said you had waited a long time for it to happen.”
“No,” she says with a shake of her head. “You must have misheard me. I didn’t say that.”
“Your lips were on mine; your tongue was in my mouth. I didn’t mistake anything except for your reasoning. So why, Cass? Why did you kiss me?”
“I-I don’t know! I was drunk.”
“Bullshit!” I exclaim so loudly she jumps. “Stop lying to me and stop lying to yourself.”
“I’m sorry, Xavier. It won’t happen again. I’ll never drink that much around you to make sure.”
“No,” I say. “I want to get you drunk again, because apparently that’s the only time you’re honest with me.”
“Xavier, can you please just forget it ever happened? I have, so, please…”
“Don’t you want to know if it was good or not?”
“What?” Cass asks while redoing her ponytail; a nervous habit to keep her hands busy.
“The kiss. Don’t you want to know if it was good?”
“Not really, no,” she scoffs.
“Well, it was,” I tell her. “It’s a shame you don’t remember it.”
“Ah, yeah,” she says while her cheeks redden. “I bet it was. But I’ll make sure it doesn’t ever happen again.” That’s apparently the end of the conversation on the topic, because she turns around and marches back inside the bar.
And I feel like a fool. This was not how I wanted to bring up the topic with her. I didn’t even say any of the things I wanted to, like I want her to kiss me again, not give me a guarantee it won’t ever happen again. Or that kissing her felt so natural that I can’t figure out why we haven’t done it before now.
I don’t want Cass sitting in another man’s lap or going to football games with anyone else. I want to be the one who pulls her into my lap and spends every Sunday with her even if I don’t give two shits about football.
But now I’ve ruined my chance by blurting out about the kiss and bringing it up the wrong way.
Cassidy
Oh. My. God.
I kissed Xavier…and I don’t even remember it! How is that possible? How drunk was I? And worst of all, he said it was good. We shared a good kiss, and I didn’t even know. I feel so stupid and embarrassed. I may never drink again, at least not around Xavier.
“Can I please get a water?” I ask the bartender since I’m too ashamed to go back to our table yet.
And if the kiss happened days ago, why is Xavier just now bringing it up again? He should’ve said something the next morning when he told me about Mike stopping by. I thought he was acting weird, and now I know why. I came on to my best friend, and he was too much of a gentleman to tell me…until now.
Why now, of all times, did he bring it up and in front of Eddie, to top it all off? Not that I care about that since Eddie is well aware that the two of us are not exclusive. It’s a perfect reminder, in fact, to make sure Eddie doesn’t get the wrong idea about us being something we’re not.
Still, I wish there was a way to get inside Xavier’s head and scrub away the memory to make him forget. I don’t want one stupid, impulsive, drunken decision of mine to make things awkward between Xavier and I, especially not now when he’s getting ready to finally move back home for the first time in ten years! I just want my best friend back, and now I’ve probably pushed him away because of a stupid kiss. The worst part is, I didn’t even get to experience it after all these years thinking about what it would be like to have Xavier’s mouth on mine.
Hold the freaking phone.
Did he kiss me back?
The whole time he was telling me about it I was too embarrassed to even think to ask.
And now I’ll never know because I plan to go the rest of my life without mentioning it again. Damn it! This is all my mom’s fault. If she hadn’t come over and nagged me while reminding me of my longtime crush on Xavier, I wouldn’t have drank a bottle of wine, and…the kiss wouldn’t have happened.
“Here you go, Cassidy,” Frasier, the owner and bartender tonight, says when he slides a cool glass of ice water in front of me.
“Thank you,” I tell him as I lift the glass to my lips and guzzle it down to try and cool off my overheating face.
Now, I just hope to go back over with the group and watch the game, hoping Xavier will quickly forget I put my mouth on his.
Chapter Fourteen
Xavier
I regret opening my big ass mouth.
Ever since I told Cass about our kiss last night, she’s been distant, barely speaking a word to me.
Oh, but she was chatty enough with Eddie and her fantasy buddies.
I never meant to make her feel bad about it when I brought it up. I want a repeat, not for her to pull further
