Chapter Three
Xavier
“So, tough guy, did you play football in high school?” one of Cassidy’s “friends” comes up and asks me where I’m holding up the wall, trying to stay out of the way.
“No, I wrestled and boxed,” I answer. “Never really got into football.”
“Huh,” he mutters while sipping his can of beer. “Hard to believe Cass would be friends with someone who doesn’t like her favorite sport.”
“Well, she makes an exception for me,” I tell him with a shit-eating grin.
“Huh,” he huffs again like he’s not impressed with me or our friendship.
“Chuck, it’s your pick!” Cass calls out from where she’s playing Vanna White at the enormous white board, writing each person’s choice of player.
“Oh shit,” the man next to me says as he hurries over to her. He says something to Cass that I can’t hear, making her laugh so hard she snorts and slaps his shoulder. She’s totally flirting with him. In fact, she’s been flirting with all of these men she considers ‘just friends’ for hours, making me feel like I’m not all that special. I used to think Cass had a thing for me, but maybe this is just how she is with the opposite sex, fun and sexy, and I never noticed because she was too shy back in high school.
Finally, hours later, after what feels like an eternity, the last man leaves Cass’s house.
“You’re different,” I tell her while I help her clean up her friends’ trash.
“Really? How so?” she asks when she looks over at me with a grin, an empty beer can in each of her hands.
“You’re more outgoing. In high school, you wouldn’t talk to guys, but today you were surrounded by them and didn’t seem awkward at all.”
“I had to get over my insecurities with the opposite sex after you left. And running the store sort of forced me to learn to talk to men.”
“You don’t just talk to them, you enthrall them,” I tell her with a shake of my head and a chuckle.
Dumping the cans in the garbage, she turns to me and asks, “What does that mean?”
“Oh, Bambi, don’t even pretend like you don’t notice those guys checking you out and hanging on your every word,” I reply. “It’s a rush, right?”
“The positive attention is…flattering I guess,” Cass says with a shrug of her shoulders. “You would know, right? Mr. Homecoming King, Captain of the Wrestling Team, Prom King, Class President. Did I miss any of your many, many important titles?”
“Captain of the Debate Team and State Mathlete Champion.”
“Oh, right,” Cass says. “How could I forget? You were king of the jocks and the nerds.”
“What can I say? God blessed me with brains and brawn.”
“And apparently skimped on the humility,” she teases with a grin and roll of her grassy-green eyes when she flops down on the sofa.
“Still,” I say when I toss the trash I collected away and go sit down beside her. “Even with all my many, many titles, I was envious of you.”
“Liar!” she accuses before reaching for a blue throw pillow and hitting me in the chest with it.
“I was. Hell, I still am!” I declare. “You knew what you wanted to do with your life and never hesitated to just go for it. You’ve got balls, Bambi. I’m jealous of your big, brass balls.”
“Oh, whatever, Xavier,” she replies with a huff. “You went to college on a full academic scholarship and finished first in your law school class. That’s pretty damn impressive. You’ve hands down kicked everyone in our graduating class’s ass. They’re going to be so jealous of your success this weekend.”
“Maybe so,” I agree. “But why do I feel like I’ve wasted the last ten years of my life?”
Cass’s jaw drops after that statement. When she recovers, she softly asks, “Do you really feel that way?”
“In college, I thought I would be happy after I graduated. In law school, I thought I would be happy when I started practicing. Well, I’ve been practicing for a year, and I’m not there yet. I keep telling myself that, after I make partner, then I’ll be all set; but I’m starting to think that may not be true.”
“Jesus, Xavier. I had no idea you were so miserable.”
“I’m not exactly miserable,” I reply. “It’s just…my life is the equivalent of being forced to constantly wear a suit that’s too small for me. It’s uncomfortable, and sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe.”
When Cass doesn’t respond to that, I ask, “Everyone probably goes through the same thing, right? Who doesn’t carry around a few regrets? Do you ever wish you would’ve gone to college?”
“No,” she answers without having to think about it. “I don’t have any regrets about my path, because I’m certain that there’s nothing out there that would make me happier than spending the day surrounded by all the things I love to do.” The way Cass lights up just talking about her job is a thing of beauty. “I get that working in retail isn’t glamorous or demanding,” she goes on to add. “For most people, selling sporting goods is just a temporary pitstop to pay the bills on their way to getting the job of their dreams. But being able to share my enthusiasm for camping and hiking and biking and fishing… it makes my day.”
“That!” I tell her. “That’s exactly what I want.”
“Great, then what do you think you want to do?” she asks.
“I have no fucking idea,” I admit. “I’m lost in the woods, Bambi. I don’t know how I got here and have no clue how I’m supposed to get back home.”
“You need a compass,” she says.
“And you know I could never read a trail map or use a damn compass. If not for you, I would have probably died out in the wilderness while wandering around in a constant circle.”
“Then it’s a good thing
