“It sure as hell didn’t feel like a mistake to me,” he shot back, anger overtaking his disbelief. “It felt right. And I know you felt it too.”
She shook her head. “I can’t do this, Zael. Not here. Not now. We shouldn’t even risk being together until after the alliance is decided. You said that yourself.”
“Fuck the alliance.” His reply exploded out of him, his voice clipped and harsh. “This is about you and me, Brynne. Nothing else matters to me.”
“Not even the colony?”
She knew it did. And if he tried to deny it, she could see that he knew she’d call him on the lie. She had only been on the island for a few hours and she could plainly see that for all of his wandering, this place and its people had been his only semblance of home. His infrequent returns and brief stays hadn’t diminished the fact that for most of his immortal life, the people here had been the closest thing to family he’d ever had.
He would never truly turn his back on them, and she would never belong here.
No matter the outcome of the alliance they had been entrusted to make happen.
“I shouldn’t have taken your blood, Zael. It was selfish. The most selfish thing I’ve ever done. I can’t let you make it worse by shackling yourself to me too.”
“Are you joking?”
His anger and confusion had now hardened into pain. She felt it vibrate in her veins as he stepped closer to her. She retreated deeper into the shadows of the small room.
“Zael, please… I want you to go.”
“Brynne.” He reached out to her.
“Go!” It was the beast that lived inside her that shouted the command at him.
She felt her nails harden into black talons as her misery morphed into desperate fury. Her skin prickled with the eruption of her alien dermaglyphs, the tangled patterns rising to the surface to cover most of her body.
Zael stood motionless, his handsome face unreadable. But she could feel his reaction in his blood. It wasn’t fear or anger. It was pity.
She steeled herself to the hurt. “Please. Just go.”
She turned away as he slowly retrieved his clothes and put them on, knowing if she watched him start to walk away from her, she might be tempted to call him back.
He didn’t make her suffer the waiting for long.
The room lit up with a sudden blast of light.
Then he was gone.
CHAPTER 33
Brynne didn’t sleep at all that night.
Her own misery would have been enough to keep her lying awake until the soft light of dawn began to fill the small cottage, but she also knew Zael’s restlessness through her bond to him.
He was as unhappy as she was. But he was angry too. He was confused and hurt.
Because of her.
Because she was too weak to admit what she wanted—him, as her forever mate—and too scared to believe he could ever look past the abomination that she was.
He had gotten an irrefutable reminder of that in the moments before he’d left her.
Self-directed rage had brought her monster out in all of its hissing, lethal worst. He’d seen it, and he had felt sorry for her. She’d felt his pity. The sting of it still burned like acid in her throat…and in her heart.
Maybe he finally understood just how impossible any kind of future would be for them. Maybe seeing her like that again was just what he’d needed to admit that she was right. They were from two different worlds, and although she’d never had much to call her own and even less to return to now, he had everything waiting for him here at the colony.
The last thing she wanted to do was jeopardize that for him by shackling him to her through a blood bond.
Even if pushing him away had felt as though it were killing her inside.
She couldn’t deny that a shameful part of her had hoped he might return to the cottage and demand another chance to convince her.
Nor could she pretend that she wasn’t disappointed when the knock came on her door that morning and she found Neriah waiting there, instead of Zael.
“Hi, Brynne.” The girl smiled cheerfully in greeting. “The council is going to be meeting soon. Zael’s on his way there now. He asked me to come and fetch you, if you’re ready?”
“Oh.” He was already there. Already adjusting to the distance she’d insisted upon. She schooled her expression into one of pure professionalism, even though an ache was tearing open inside her. “Of course, I’m ready. Let’s go.”
She barely registered Neriah’s bubbly chatter as they walked up the cobbled street to the council chamber building. Her steps felt heavy, her heart pounding rapidly in anticipation of seeing Zael again after the terrible way she’d ended things with him.
He waited inside alone, facing the vacant dais. His stance was rigid and somber, his tall, muscular frame clothed in a fresh white linen tunic and pants, his burnished mane of golden hair still damp and curling at the ends from a recent shower.
Every cell in Brynne’s body lit up at the sight of him, her senses evidently unaware of just how stupid she’d been in pushing him away. He wasn’t hers now—after yesterday, maybe not ever again—but her body didn’t seem to recognize that.
Nor did her blood.
Her veins throbbed as she watched him go utterly still when he realized she was there. She felt the spike in his heart rate, too, as he pivoted slowly to watch her as Neriah took a seat near the back of the chamber and Brynne approached him at the dais.
“The council’s delayed,” he informed her, his tone level, even though his gaze was heavy with all the words he wouldn’t say. “I’m told they should be here soon.”
“Do you think something’s wrong?”
He shrugged. “It probably took some extra time for all of the elders to reach an agreement.”
As they waited a few minutes in awkward, uncomfortable
