“Don’t you want pancakes?”
I took my keys out of my bag and clicked on them to unlock it. The sound startled Jody, who moved away from the car instantly. “Don’t bring pancakes into this,” I said. “Or I’ll scare you.”
“Again? That seems kind of rude.”
“Don’t test me,” I said, looking up at the sky. “Get in the car. It’s going to rain.”
He did as he was told, opening the passenger door and stepping into the car.
I walked to the driver’s side and got in the car. I could smell his cologne from where I was sitting, and the scent from the fabric of his clothes.
“Do you know how to get there from here?”
“Are they still on fifth?”
“No, they changed locations a little while ago,” he replied. “Just go left out of this parking lot and then I’ll tell you where to go. I could get there with my eyes closed.”
“And soon, you’ll be able to get to the hospital with your eyes closed,” I replied. “If you keep up this lifestyle.”
“Did I get in this car so that you could judge me?”
I snickered. “That was part of the terms of the agreement. I drove you, we went to breakfast together, I get to judge you.”
“I didn’t agree to these terms of service,” he said. “But I will get breakfast.”
“Good. I expected that.”
We talked a little about the accident, and soon, we were in front of the restaurant. It wasn’t exactly the way I remembered it, with a nice awning out in the front, covering a bunch of round tables. This place felt more industrial. It looked like a warehouse; an almost circular building cut off entirely at the roundest part. The entirety of the front was decorated with large windows and I could see, from where I was standing, that the light inside was beautiful.
It was clear, however, that the diner had lost its working-class charm when it had moved into this hipster building.
“When did they move here?” I asked as I got out of the car.
“Years ago,” he said. “You left town, right? So maybe you missed it.”
“Yeah, but I’ve been back for a while,” I said. “I feel like I would’ve heard of this.”
“You go out to restaurants a lot?”
I narrowed my eyes. We were walking together to the restaurant, briskly, so that we could avoid the rain. He was walking behind me slightly even though his strides were bigger than my own. His hand was on the small of my back and I was trying my best to ignore it, but it felt nice to have his attention on me, and I didn’t want to pull away.
I wasn’t going to have anything else to do with him once we were done eating breakfast. I would never see him again and my life might be better for it. But this proximity, I told myself that it was okay to let myself have it.
There was a part of me that wanted to move away, but the part of myself that wanted him to touch me was stronger. I wanted to stay there, feeling his hand on my back, feeling the way it felt when we made contact.
It was ridiculous.
I was being ridiculous. I knew that I was, but I couldn’t help myself. Regardless of what had happened between us, I found his touch comforting, and there was a part of me that wanted to fall into him, into the way he felt, and into how he used to make me feel.
Maybe it wasn’t the wisest idea, because I did remember how he had made me feel when he had humiliated me, but I also remembered how he had made me feel before then. So beautiful and… I didn’t know if loved was the right word, but it felt like it was the closest thing to the right word.
“Hey,” he said as he opened the door for me. “What are you thinking about?”
I smiled as I walked into the restaurant, the smell of fried food overwhelming the moment I walked in. “Hmm,” I said. “Gosh, I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”
“How hungry were you?”
“I could murder a stack of pancakes,” I said, then looked him up and down. “Are you okay? You look a little green.”
He flashed me a smile. “I think the reality of the day is hitting me a little,” he said. He was going to say something else, but a hostess came up to us to seat us. We were in one of the booths in the back when she told us our server would be right with us.
When she went away, he looked at me, and I saw the black bags under his eyes.
“So,” I said. “Are you actually okay?”
He sighed. “I don’t know,” he said. “I feel like the intensity of the day is hitting me now.”
“What happened? I mean, you told me what happened during the accident, but like… what led to it?”
He sighed, leaning back. “A little coffee first,” he said. “Then you can interrogate me.”
“I didn’t know that the plan was to interrogate you.”
“Wasn’t it?” he said, raising his eyebrows.
“I’m just curious. Is that wrong?”
He smiled and his eyes shone. “No,” he said. “I like it that you’re curious about me. It makes me feel good about myself.”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help but laugh. “Will you believe me if I tell you that my interest is purely medical?”
“Sure,” he said, winking at me. “I’ll believe that, if you want me to.”
I smiled.
