“And that includes me too, right?” she challenged.
“They never said it outright, but I guess so.”
She folded her arms. “I’m not overly surprised. That’s the kind of behavior I’ve come to expect from good Christian folks.”
“That’s mean.” Deep down, he knew she had a valid point, but he was on the defensive. “They were doing what they thought was best for me.”
“What about what was best for me, Zeke?” she said, standing up abruptly. “Everything changed overnight for me. I was put in a new school where I had zero friends, and I wasn’t allowed to talk about our old life because there was a warrant out for my father’s arrest.” She let out a laugh. “We joined a new church in Cleveland, you know that? Dad continued to hide behind a veneer of respectability, pretending that he was a pillar of the community.”
His heart heaved for her, for the innocence she had lost.
“What happened to him?” he asked.
“The police finally caught up with him after about a year, and he was sentenced to twelve years in federal prison for embezzlement and tax evasion. My mom lost our apartment, our car, just about everything, and we could barely put food on the table. Right after I graduated high school, I joined the army and started supporting her and my sister. Nobody else would help us.”
“Oh Goldie,” he said, standing up to hold out his arms and invite her to take comfort in a hug, but she remained motionless. “If only I’d known where you were, I’d have come see you and tried to help. I’d never have left you to deal with all of that on your own.”
“I went to your home in Glenside when I finally saved up enough money for the bus ticket,” she said. “I thought I’d try one last time to see you before heading off to the military base, but a new family was in your house. They said you’d moved to New York.” She bit her lip, steadied her breathing. “It was then I knew I’d never see you again.”
He smiled weakly, letting his arms drop to his sides. “But here I am, huh?”
“Yeah,” she said, not returning his smile. “Here you are.”
She was apparently building her wall even higher.
“I’m sad that things turned out this way, Goldie,” he said. “My dad got a job transfer to New York after I graduated and I decided to make a new start, to try to forget you. I eventually joined the FBI and made a pretty good life for myself.”
She fell silent for a while, before saying, “Listen, Zeke, it would really help if you’d take some responsibility for what happened between us. I haven’t heard an apology from you yet.”
“You want me to apologize?” he asked incredulously. “For something that wasn’t my fault?”
The last time Zeke had apologized to a woman, he had done so under duress, pressured by his pastor to preserve harmony in the church. It had left an indelible stain on his psyche, and he steadfastly refused to go back there again. Apologies were now only given to those who deserved them, and Goldie definitely didn’t fall into that category.
“You could’ve done more to find me,” she challenged. “But you did nothing. I think you should own up to that.”
He stared at her in frustration, her defensive posture reminding him of Susan, the recipient of his forced apology given the day after he’d witnessed her stealing from the collection plate one Sunday morning. When he’d raised the issue with the elders, Susan had vehemently denied the sin and claimed that Zeke had been mistaken. As it was only Zeke’s word against hers, the pastor had encouraged Zeke to be the bigger person and apologize. He remembered the pastor’s words distinctly: “Saying sorry is a small sacrifice in order to maintain peace with your neighbor.”
Well, perhaps he didn’t care whether he maintained peace with Goldie. This time, he would stick to his guns and stand firm.
“What happened was not my fault, so you’ll be waiting a long time if you want me to take the blame.” He recognized the sense of indignation in his belly—the same one he’d felt when Susan had smiled and accepted his apology, despite knowing her guilt. “You’re being totally unfair.”
She balked. “It’s going to be mighty difficult for us to get along here if you insist on avoiding your responsibilities.”
He threw his hands in the air, having heard enough. “I will not allow you to guilt trip me into taking responsibility for the past,” he said. “If I do that, I’ll lose respect for myself, wind up angry and isolated and have to leave the assignment.”
“What? That’s quite a stretch, Zeke. Are you crazy?”
“Not crazy, just eager to speak the truth.”
After reluctantly apologizing to Susan, Zeke had found it impossible to enjoy the worship while watching her continue to serve, to collect the offerings and pretend as if nothing had happened. He knew that she was a thief and a liar, and yet he was the one being punished. He had eventually left his church family and joined another, a wrench that had left a mark of deep injustice etched on his heart. He had paid the price of her sin.
“We’re here for a week,” she said. “We’ll have to find a way past this.”
Sounds of movement came from the stairs, then a man called out that the forensic team had completed its analysis of the crime scene.
“How about we keep things strictly professional?” he suggested. “That’s all we can do for now.”
“Sure.” Her tone was as snippy as scissors. “I’m fine with that.”
Zeke’s attention was taken by the appearance of two men in the hallway, carrying a body bag between them. He automatically lowered his head and clasped his hands at his waist. It was an involuntary reaction, one that obviously irritated Goldie, judging by the loud huff.
“What
