“Your ice? Please, I’d skate circles around you any day. I own that fucking ice,” I whisper into the shell of his ear, standing on my toes, and seeing the small shiver that goes through his body brings me great delight at turning the tables on him. At affecting his body like he does mine.
“Fuck, Princess, did you just say ‘fuck’? Say it again. It does all sorts of things to me, I swear I feel tingles.” He chuckles deeply, taking my hand in a reassuring grip, and walks us into the building at a fast clip, his excitement obvious.
“Shut up. You’re too much, but thank you for this. I really need to skate my butt off until my legs give out. Let’s do this!” As I kiss his cheek, his dimple appears, and my legs are already shaking.
Once inside, I take a deep, relieved breath and feel relaxed as my whole week starts to melt away. Little does Granger know, but this is the arena where I tried on my first pair of skates…it’s where I learned that the ice is my life and everything I know about skating. Tears gather in my eyes as I see the grey cement floor and feel the slight blast of cold air that seeps into my bones. It’s all too familiar, and I think Granger takes a small chunk of my shattered heart at this exact moment.
“Here, you start without me. I’ll be right back.” He places a quick kiss on my cheek without thinking about it and walks away.
God, I love watching him walk away because those jeans do wonders to his tight ass. I have to shake my head to focus as I go over to a table closest to the double doors leading to the rink. The smell of cheap food from the concession stands makes me smile, and watching families with their children as they get them ready to learn how to skate brings back so many memories. Granger is talking to someone with the logo on his long sleeved shirt in the arena, so obviously the guy works here. Lacing my skates tightly, I straighten with a grin and head inside without waiting for Granger. The cold air blasts my face, turning them a light pink, and the sound of skates chipping away on the ice relaxes me. I needed this badly. A child wobbles on her legs as she slowly moves away from the boards just as I step onto the ice, her little feet trying to coordinate how to move side to side without slipping. Instantly, a memory of Mom comes to me of when she was teaching me in this exact arena.
“My sweet Kat, that’s it! You can do this. If you set your mind to it, anything is possible. You're a natural, baby,” Mom says, crouched on her skates in front of me as she holds my hands with each small gliding foot I skate over the smooth ice.
A bubbling laugh escapes me as she lets go of my tight grip and skates backward within my reach in case I need her. My little hands spread wide to my sides to hold my balance when I wobble slightly to the left.
“Pretty soon, you’ll be skating right beside me without needing my help.” She glances down at my chubby cheeks as I smile up at her, her nose wrinkling and her eyes watering.
I don’t want Mommy to be sad. She’s always sad until she picks me up and squeezes me tight in a warm hug.
“I’ll always need you, Mommy,” I tell her just as my right skate slips under me. She catches me at the last second, before my knees connect with the hard, cold surface.
“Sweet baby girl, I’ll always be here to catch you, even when I’m not around. One day, you’ll be captivating the audience with your soul and heart, I just know it. You were born to skate. Now stay right here and watch how I move on the blades.” She makes sure I’m holding onto the side railing before kissing the top of my head and swirls around in a circle, almost as if her skates never leave the icy surface.
I watch the little girl now struggling with each foot in front of her, and I’m guessing she’s at least five years old, the same age when I first started learning. Without a second thought, I glide over to her side when she starts to windmill her arms before she falls on her butt. Each little sniffle from her breaks my heart, and she looks like she’s giving up, her head down and her mouth wobbling.
“Hey,” I say to her, crouching by her side and waiting until her watery eyes look up at me. “It’s okay. The first time I started skating, I fell too many times to count, but you know what I did?” I’m used to people staring at me because of my pink hair, and she’s looking at me with wide green eyes as I help her up.
“What did you do?” she asks in a sweet little voice, and I circle around so I’m in front of her, holding both of her tiny hands.
“I kept skating until I got it right. Do you want me to help you? Maybe I can show you some tricks too?” She nods her head quickly and stands with her blades slipping under her feet a few times.
An hour flies by, and as I show her to move her skates across the ice…something eases inside of me. A content feeling, and one I didn’t know I was looking for. I’m cheering on the sidelines as the little girl, Allie, skates with her feet moving back and forth on straight legs. Her beaming smile makes me feel like I did something good, and it brings a happy memory of Mom to the surface instead of the bad ones that plague my freaking soul every
