So here I am, locked away in a dorm room where I’ve overstayed my welcome, hiding from the world, and staring at an envelope that scares me. What the heck could be in there that my father is hiding? The last piece of my mom probably. That thought saddens me, but it's time to move forward. With a groan, I roll out of bed and grab the envelope with trembling fingers. Sitting crossed legged on the bed, I slowly peel it open and pull the contents out. Tears gather in my eyes, spilling over as I recognize Mom’s handwriting. She left me a letter.
Hi sweet child,
You're probably older by now, since you’re reading this instead of me getting a chance to tell you myself, and I’m no longer, well, here in a sense. Since before you were born, I’ve always wanted what’s best for you. I prayed for a miracle child to love and hold close in my arms. That moment when you opened those blue eyes and looked at me so silently, content as we stared at each other for hours, it was as if you knew I was going to be your mother always.
I’m still here, Kat. I’ll never leave your side, even when you can’t see me. Just place your hand over your heart and think of me. I just want you to know you are loved. I tried to show you every day I could, and it may not show the same way as me, but your father cares for you in his own way. I care for your father, I always will, but the truth is I entered a marriage that was loveless from the beginning. I gave your father a chance because I think he cared for me in his own way too. But in the end, I had you and that’s all that mattered to me. I want you to do me a favor, to keep going after your dreams, even when you feel like falling down. Most importantly, and never forget this…don’t give up trying to find the love that steals your breath away. Those chances only come into our lives once in a lifetime. Chase after it… hold it close… And love with your whole heart, sweet child.
In this Will, I give everything to the one person I’ll always love, even when I’m gone. You're my everything, and I need you to remember that.
Love you, sweet child of mine,
Mom
Clutching the letter to my chest, I sob until I can’t any more. A whimper escapes my mouth as I look through blurry eyes at the document right next to the letter. She left me everything, every last piece. Then the years of being alone come back at full force. The lies, the abuse, the hateful words my father threw at me just because of this small little piece of paper.
The door unlocks and Mary’s dancing footsteps enter the room, but I can’t look away from my letter. She rushes over to my crouched position on the floor, grabbing my shoulder until I look at her, and I wonder when I ended up here on the floor.
“My God, Kat! Are you okay? What happened? Is it that Captain butthole? I’m going to kick his ass!” She starts to rise, but I grab her hand and pull her down until she’s sitting next to me.
Wordlessly, I pass the documents and letter over to her. She looks confused but quickly starts to read, her brows climbing up her forehead and her eyes narrowing the longer she reads. The letters drop into her lap, and she just sits there with me, staring at nothing for a long time.
“Here’s what you're going to do. Tomorrow morning, we’re going to go downtown and get into Mr. and Mrs. Wilder’s office and have a chat with them. Then you're going to take that bastard's money away from him until every last cent is gone. But first, go.” I glance at her in confusion, watching her stand up and grab my skates. “Get the hell out of here and go skate right now. You need this.” Her voice leaves no room for arguments.
And I’m really not going to disagree, because she’s right. I can’t think clearly after everything that’s happened, and the only peace I’ll find is on the ice.
“I’ll be back in a little bit.” Once the idea is in my head, there's no stopping me. The ice is calling to me to let go and skate.
Surprisingly, the athletic department was open, but old country music is blaring in the back where Bob’s office is, so he must be here. I wish I’d brought him some coffee and wonder what he’s doing here so late at night. Heading back to the maintenance shop, I knock on the open door so I don’t startle him.
“Bob?” At my voice, he sticks his head around the hood of the Zamboni with a happy smile on his wrinkled face. “The front entrance door was unlocked… Is it okay if I skate for a little bit?” I ask, shuffling on my feet as he gives me a knowing look, wiping his hands on a greased rag.
“Of course, Kat. I was just working on this old hunk of a machine. Old girl’s been acting funny, so I thought I’d get her ready before the team shows up in the morning. Take as long as you need, and holler if you need me.” He chuckles, patting his beloved Zamboni on the side and waving over his shoulder as he bends over the hood again.
I practically run to the bleachers to put my skates on. A few lights are shining on the rink, begging me to slide across the ice until my chest stops aching. The moment my blades touch down, I’m taking off in a smooth glide with the sound of my skates chipping away at the ice and my labored breathing in the cold air. It’s
