“You’re welcome,” Viola said, smiling. She’d been the one to suggest it to the team. “It’s hard to trace a job like that. Some states don’t even regulate that profession.” She chuckled. “Which is why we were called in last year.”
Shelby picked up a French fry and nibbled on it, contemplating if she could confide in Viola. Work was her life. She didn’t have time for friends not connected to the bureau, but she did consider Viola a friend. Of course, she was closest to Darrell on the team, but no way would she tell her mentor she’d gone all the way with their mark. He already didn’t like the idea of her working the case. More importantly, he was a by-the-books kind of man. If she told him details she’d left out in the meeting, he’d scold her for such a rookie move and demand she immediately bring Rick up to speed. He was definitely out.
She was friends with Anna Sue, too, but she was back in Arkansas. Shelby had been put on assignment there and hung out with Xan and Roxie some off the clock. Even visited with Maya and Heather. But Shelby didn’t know those ladies well enough to reach out about something personal. In fact, except for Anna Sue, she was closer to the Bang Shift men than she was the women in that town. It wasn’t surprising considering her upbringing, not that it did her any good with this predicament.
All that was left was her family. Her male family. Her dad, an old-school grease monkey. No. Her brother, Axle, a badass Navy SEAL. Hell no. Shelby couldn’t even think about talking to them about this assignment. No freaking way.
If she was going to tiptoe into this subject with anyone, she’d rather talk to another woman anyway. And that conversation would be much better to have face-to-face, an opportunity she was currently in.
Shelby had spent a lot of time with Viola on assignments and hanging out during down time. The woman was a heck of an agent and a good friend. Plus, she was also a woman. She couldn’t tell her everything. No way would Shelby even think of testing the female bonds of friendship by putting her colleague in an awkward position of having to report her. But maybe she could touch on some stuff without going into too much detail, talk about things she couldn’t really bring up in the middle of a status meeting in front of a bunch of men.
“Have you ever experienced anything, um, sexual of this magnitude?” Shelby finally asked. If she could somehow get a handle on her conflicted emotions, maybe it’d be easier for her to compartmentalize what was happening.
“No. Well, Dave once used my handcuffs on me while we were having sex. Big mistake. You know they pad the toy ones for a reason. My wrists got abraded, and we had to stop. It ended up killing the mood.”
No bureau issued handcuffs. Check.
“Why do you ask?” Viola frowned at her and put her fork down. Shelby didn’t like that look of concern crossing her colleague’s face. “Honey, if you need to talk to someone, you should go see the counselor. He’s trained to deal with law enforcement stressors.”
Shelby did not want a psych eval over this. “It’s okay. I’m just new to the lifestyle. A little curious how common it is.”
Viola arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “You’re not new to the lifestyle, honey. You’re investigating a person of interest.”
Shelby swallowed. “Right. Of course. I know that. I’m just trying to fully submerse myself into the case.”
Viola nodded and picked up her fork again. “Makes sense, I guess.” She stabbed at her salad.
Really? Because nothing made sense to Shelby. She was floundering in the sea of the unknown and didn’t know how she could wrap her head around everything.
As soon as she’d arrived home Friday night, she’d stripped out of her clothes and examined her backside. It had been covered in welts and various red marks. Her body tingled in ways she’d never felt before. She’d been spanked to the point of being turned on. Not only that, Mason ordering her around sexually had aroused her so quickly she’d been stunned by her immediate reaction. She’d never let a man tell her what to do, inside or outside the bedroom. But letting Mason take control had felt liberating. Yeah, that had been the word she couldn’t identify that night. Not uncomfortable like her report had been this morning, not unnatural like she’d assumed it would be. Liberating.
How was it even possible that giving a man that kind of control could be freeing? She thought of her upbringing, of all the men who worked at her dad’s garage, of all the boys she grew up with, and she couldn’t imagine letting a single one do anything like that to her. None of her past boyfriends either. Or fellow agents. Hell, not even any of the Bang Shift guys, and they were all big and cocky. It was as if Mason was the only one she could even picture in that role. And she didn’t have to imagine it. The man had truly mastered her. Body and soul. Rafe was just an instrument. Mason Showalter was the maestro.
Had he awakened something inside of her? Or was it really just him? She honestly didn’t know. It didn’t help at all that she was attracted to the man. As in seriously, ridiculously attracted.
Yeah, that was a big problem. If she was smart, she’d confess this little tidbit to Rick and remove herself from the investigation. But that wasn’t an option. This was her first major assignment, and she had to stay focused on getting the information the FBI needed on F and B.
What a mess.
“Sweetie, I think this case has to be screwing with your mind. If you don’t want to talk to the psychiatrist, I’m all ears.”
Shelby opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again. Viola
