I wasn’t proud of myself, but I typed in what I typed in.
It didn’t take long to find it. Just a few rows down, I found what Trevor had to have been talking about. A picture someone had posted hours ago.
It was of Zac sitting with a woman on his lap.
He was in what looked like a wide booth, with that smile of his that annoyed me, and she was there, perched, with her boobies all up in his face.
My fingertips went numb. The rest of my hands tingled too, if I was going to be honest. I might have even felt nauseous.
I tried to look for any sign that I was wrong, that the picture hadn’t been taken yesterday, but I couldn’t remember what the hell he’d been wearing. And the girl was covering most of his clothes with her body anyway. Did his hair look longer or was I imagining it?
And what? If it hadn’t been taken last night, then it would suddenly be better if it had been a week ago? Two weeks ago? Three weeks ago? I tried to reason with myself.
Mostly, I was so proud of myself for calmly exiting the app and slowly rolling up into a sitting position.
This was nothing new. I had seen this before even though it had been months. He had invited me, and I had said no. Maybe it would have happened even if I had gone along.
It was fine.
I sniffed.
Okay, it wasn’t fine, and I was a fucking idiot for thinking I could do this shit. That I could see it and deal with it. That my lack of expectations would keep me grounded.
He didn’t need me. I was just his old friend who made him feel… safe. He hated silence. He missed home.
I was a fool. A fool in so many ways I couldn’t even begin to count them.
But I wasn’t going to be for much longer, and I knew what I needed to do.
I dragged myself out of bed and headed for the shower.
That was when my phone rang again. It was a one-eight-hundred number.
Chances were, it was nothing to be excited about, but….
I answered it. “Hello?”
“Hello. Can I please speak with Ms. Brannen?”
“That’s me,” I answered.
“Great. I’m so glad to get you on the phone, Ms. Brannen. I was calling you in regards to the claim you filed….”
* * *
The next thing to wake me up was the knocking at the hotel room hours and hours later.
The super light knocking.
One peek at my phone showed that it was eleven thirty at night. There were a couple of missed texts from Connie… and from Zac too, apparently. I’d answer them in a minute, I figured, getting to my feet with a yawn. I peeked into the room with the kids. The two little boys were sharing a roll-out, twin-sized bed, and the little girl, Fiona, was passed out in her crib.
We’d had a lot of fun earlier.
I wasn’t sure who had been more surprised by it: me or them, the Graves family. Because when the doorbell at the house had rang that afternoon, when I’d known Zac had to be at practice, I’d been surprised to see the family standing on the other side of the glass door.
Zac had told them I was there. Zac who had texted me shortly after Trevor called to tell me he was fine and was I okay? Like he hadn’t gone missing.
Then somehow, one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I’d taken them to the Children’s Museum and to do a bunch of other fun shit.
The Aiden guy still didn’t talk much, but he smiled a lot around his kids and his wife. He’d even given me a tiny smile when I’d let his kids chase me around and acted super over the top as I fell to the floor when they’d gotten me. I’d learned that huge man was now retired from the NFO, and according to Vanessa, Aiden was very happy as a stay-at-home dad. I had to admit it was pretty adorable to imagine him that way. So it hadn’t been any kind of hardship to offer to watch the kids if they wanted to go out.
And surprisingly, they had agreed, promising to be back around midnight.
Which was a few minutes away.
Why would they be knocking on the hotel door anyway? They wouldn’t risk waking their kids up, and I’d given them my phone number.
With a yawn, I went up to the balls of my feet and glanced through the peephole.
I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t twist a moment before it started beating faster. Racing. Okay, it was racing… like a horse that wanted to get away.
But I wasn’t that kind of person, and like I’d told myself already multiple times over the course of the morning and afternoon, Zac hadn’t done anything. None of his actions had anything to do with me. Now if he talked shit about me, that was one thing; if he failed me or lied to me or wasn’t there when he’d promised to be, that was something else too.
But all he’d done was go out, like he had every right to, and hang out with women, like he also had every right to. It wasn’t like I hadn’t known he had a life. Yet none of that knowledge did a single thing for my heart.
It didn’t change the decision I’d made earlier either. If anything, I was more determined than ever to do what I had come up with.
So I opened the door and forced a small smile on my face before closing it mostly behind me, standing there in the gap to hopefully block our voices.
And Zac was there, in his oldest jeans and an old
