Again, his eyes widened and I mentally slapped myself. Had I just said that to a Hollywood big gun who was offering me a chance to change my family’s life around completely? Good God, was there no end to my stupidity? Or my instinctiveness? I had better learn to turn my brain on before I spoke, or it would be the death of me.
He threw his head back and laughed. ‘Ben, I love this lady!’
For the first time, Ben spoke up. ‘So do I. But you’re going to ruin her story if you even try something so stupid. Take it from me, Luke. What you’re trying to do is just not done. You’re mixing two totally different genres that don’t go together. Like…’ Ben turned to me. ‘What is it they say in England?’
‘Chalk and cheese.’ Two incompatible things. A bit like my Sicilian rice-balls in Cornish restaurants. Phil had pooh-poohed it from the start. Only he’d been wrong.
‘Ben – you need to take a risk every now and then,’ Luke said.
Ben Stein reddened. ‘With all due respect, Luke, you can take a risk with John Grisham or Tom Clancy, but we’re talking here about a mid-lister no one’s ever heard of before…’
Mid-lister? I sat up. ‘Actually, all three books were Sunday Times bestsellers.’ I glanced at Alice who widened her eyes and slightly shook her head. I got the message.
‘Ah, mid-lister she may be, but she’s a total laugh-lab!’ Luke said.
Was he not listening to me? Laugh-lab? I whipped my head around, caught in the crossfire. Both were slagging me off for different reasons and Alice was doing absolutely nothing to cover my back. All she wanted was to see whose court the ball landed in.
Luke gestured towards me. ‘Believe me, she can pull off comedy like no one. Just look at her. Look at that face.’
Unbelievable. He had me flown all this way just to have a laugh? How could someone who looked so fantastic be a complete monster? He was supposed to be every woman’s dream. Every woman’s minus this one.
I knew it had been too good to be true. How dare they drag me all the way across the Atlantic just to humiliate me? I’d put my heart into that novel – three years of my own personal hell of Should I stay or should I go, during which even throwing myself off Gwennap Head seemed like a better alternative than living like that, and I wasn’t about to let them laugh at me. This was my life I’d poured out, my feelings, my kids’ feelings and their expectations too.
I’d had enough of my ex-husband taking advantage of me all these years, trying to demean me and attacking my dignity. I rose to my feet. ‘Excuse me,’ I muttered and headed for the door.
‘Nina?’ Luke said.
I shot him a glance and shook my head, my eyes burning with unshed tears, and closed the door behind me.
9
The Devil’s Advocate
I regretted my reaction the moment the door clunked shut behind me, like a vault full of gold bullion, lost to me forever. What the hell was wrong with me? What the hell was I doing, abandoning a conference room full of Hollywood producers who wanted me to co-write a script based on my book? Would I rather go home and watch the rain trickling through my roof? If a little rudeness towards my persona was the price I had to pay for my children, shouldn’t I pay it? After all these years and all these promises to myself that I would make it good for them, and I snubbed it all for the sake of a moment of humiliation?
I swiped at my cheeks with one hand and banged on the lift button with the other, willing it to open and take me straight back home like in a time machine, when things weren’t going great but at least I didn’t have people actually deriding me so openly and unashamedly.
How the hell was I going to break it to the kids? And what the hell was Alice thinking? Had she sold her soul to Hollywood already? She knew that we as a family needed this deal like we needed our next breath. For Ben, for Chloe, I had needed to see this through. And I realised that, if I went back in there and apologised, this would only be the beginning of a series of compromises. But I hadn’t flown all the way over here just to go back to Cornwall empty-handed. What had I been thinking? Was my dignity really more important than my children’s lives? No contest. But now, was it too late to go back in there and eat humble pie? Could I just knock on the door? Would they snort? Guffaw? Tell me I’d missed my chance?
‘Nina—’ came a voice behind me. Alice.
‘You knew all about this and didn’t tell me?’ I hissed. ‘You’re supposed to be my friend. I trusted you.’
‘Before you say anything more,’ Alice said, taking my hands in hers, ‘listen to me. Ben Stein doesn’t want you writing the script, but Luke does. Think of the difference it will make if you are hands-on. You will be a scriptwriter, and you will be making connections in Hollywood – isn’t that every writer’s dream?’
I bit my tongue. ‘Yes.’
‘And would you not – in one single second – secure the future of your children in every way?’
‘You know I would.’
‘Then why do I have to stand here and have this conversation with you when we both agree it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you?’
‘Alice, I do know.’
‘Well then why are you playing bloody hard to get? You deserve this. It’s your one chance to right all of Phil’s wrongs and show him how strong you have always been. I don’t understand you.’
I didn’t understand me either. Perhaps I simply wasn’t prepared for such a sudden reversal of fortune. I wasn’t used to having
