out,’ I managed.

‘All the better. Have you got a moment?’

I pulled the door shut behind me, not wanting the kids to hear.

She smiled. ‘I would do the same – don’t feel bad.’

‘Look, Lauren – I know why you’re here, but I don’t have any influence on Luke. And even if I did, I wouldn’t use it. He has to do what he thinks is right for his daughter.’

She nodded, looking down at her feet. ‘She’s my daughter, too, Nina,’ she said, her eyes getting moist.

Please don’t. Oh, please don’t.

I would have invited her in, but more than complying with Luke’s request, I didn’t want to give Jess any false hopes if she saw her mother inside the house. ‘Look, uhm, Lauren. I’m sorry. Really I am.’

‘I was too young. I was only nineteen. You must have had your first around the same age, am I right?’

I nodded. ‘Yes. And it was difficult for me, too.’ Only I never abandoned them.

‘I made a huge mistake,’ she said. ‘Unforgivable. And now I’m paying for it twice.’

She looked up. ‘I can’t have children. Call it karma, or “what goes around comes around”. The fact that I will never ever have another child made me rethink my absence from Jess’s life. For so many years, I battled depression, and thought she was better off without me. Now I know I made a mistake. I should’ve accepted Luke’s love, and his help. But it all just got bigger and bigger until it overwhelmed me and one day I couldn’t even breathe and… I simply left.’

‘Lauren – I understand what you went through, truly I do. But you don’t have to justify yourself to me. Just talk to Luke.’

She studied me. ‘Yes. You’re right.’

‘I’ll tell him you called. Good luck, Lauren.’

‘Thank you. Goodbye.’

I waited for her to get into her car and then quietly closed the door.

*

‘And that’s it?’ Alice said over the phone a while later. ‘You’re not going to talk to him?’

‘Believe me, Alice, I tried, but he just clammed up. I have no power over Luke’s decisions.’

‘Oh, honey, if you only knew. When he first called me, he told me he wanted to meet this wonder of a woman who was so brilliant and who loved her children so much.’

I waved away her words. ‘What woman doesn’t love her children?’

‘Don’t you see, Nina, his wife doesn’t. That’s why he loved your book so much. Because it’s about a woman who puts her children first, rather than herself. And you did it with such wit and warmth. That’s why he loves you. And that’s why we love him. Although your Jack fellow isn’t a fan.’

That was the understatement of the year. ‘How did you know?’

‘I have my sources.’

‘You’re not talking to the Ice Cream trio, are you?’ They were a first-hand source of what was happening in my life, apparently. Shakespeare was right when he said that life was a stage. At least mine was. You couldn’t beat small-village life for private information. Or imagination.

‘You mean those charming old biddies? Yes, of course. They have been keeping an eye on you since you signed up with me years ago.’

‘What?’

‘Good God, Nina, how else am I going to keep watch on you from London? I’m only down once a month because of my dad. You don’t expect me to schlep all the way down to Cornwall every time there’s a crisis. I may be your agent and dear friend, Nina, but I’m a busy woman. I have other authors too, you know?’

‘Ah, but none with a Hollywood deal, correct?’

I could feel her grinning on the other side of the nation. ‘None, my dear duck of the golden eggs. Now hang up and get writing that blockbuster.’

‘Alice?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Thanks so much for believing in me when no other publisher did, all those years ago when I came to you with three chapters and a synopsis.’

‘And a badly written one at that,’ she said with a giggle. ‘I love you, kid.’

‘I love you too, Alice.’

‘Now go. My other line is ringing. This better not be my Australian author Mary Morris with another tax question again, after I’ve only explained it to her five times.’

Chuckling to myself, I wandered into the conservatory, where I found Jessica lying back in an armchair, soaking up the last rays of sunshine for the day.

‘Are you cold, Jess?’

She opened her eyes and turned her head in my direction. ‘No, I’m fine, thanks, Nina. I was just thinking…’

I sat on the arm of the chair opposite her. ‘Good thoughts, I hope?’

She shrugged. ‘I was thinking about my mother.’

Ah. ‘Sweetie, what she did doesn’t reflect on you. She didn’t even know you when she left, really.’

‘I know. But sometimes… sometimes I wonder what things would be like if she hadn’t left.’

‘It’s normal for you to wonder. But maybe you should tell your dad when he comes back?’

She nodded. ‘I will, eventually. I’m just not sure it’s what I want yet.’

‘Well, when you are, make sure you don’t keep it from him. He deserves to know how you are really feeling inside.’

She smiled. ‘I will, I promise. And you? How’s the script going?’

I smiled. ‘Some days better than others, but yes, it’s going very well.’

‘He’s driving you crazy, I bet. He’s such a perfectionist.’

‘Ye-es…’

‘It’ll be a great movie, Nina,’ she said. ‘I’m sure of it. I’ve listened to all your books. I love your style.’

‘Awh, Jess, thank you.’

She shrugged. ‘Chloe and Ben are lucky to have you as a mother. I guess I was lucky with my father. You can’t have everything, I suppose…’

‘Well, you’re right about that, Jess. Spaghetti for dinner?’

She sat up. ‘Ooh, yes, please!’

‘Want to keep me company while I cook?’

She stood up and reached for my arm. ‘Absolutely. I love being in your house, Nina. It’s so warm and lovely.’

‘Just like you, Jess. You’ve done wonders for my children. I can barely recognise Chloe. Well – some days.’

She giggled and rested her head on my shoulder as we went into the kitchen.

Добавить отзыв
ВСЕ ОТЗЫВЫ О КНИГЕ В ИЗБРАННОЕ

0

Вы можете отметить интересные вам фрагменты текста, которые будут доступны по уникальной ссылке в адресной строке браузера.

Отметить Добавить цитату