She opens her mouth and then shuts it just as quick. “Thank you.” she finally settles on saying.
Yeah.
I hope it is worth it.
Johnny has been in rehab for a week.
I think this might be the longest he’s ever made it. Byrne’s are no strangers to rehab. Our father has done so many stints in rehab facilities, I’ve lost count.
My father being in rehab was always my favorite as a child. Normally when he was admitted we would be shipped off to stay with our grandparents. My grandmother was a sweet woman who baked cookies with us and lived in a small house that always smelled like cinnamon. I wished she could have taken us full time, I longed to live with her, but two kids were too much for her.
When she died, I didn’t leave my room for two weeks and Johnny got high to numb his pain.
We visited my father in rehab each of the many times he went. We never had money so it was always a state run rehab facility that smelt old and dusty and had a constant soundtrack of screaming. Johnny always hated it, I did too but I hid it better.
The place Gio has Johnny in is nothing like those places.
There are endless windows letting streams of sunlight in and it smells like rain and spring time. There are real flowers on every surface I can see, and the fake wood floors are spotless.
“Annie Byrne!” A cheerful middle aged woman greeted me when I walked through the sliding door with Charlie on my tail. “Gio called and let me know you were coming. Johnny is so excited to see you.” Her smile is warm and inviting.
“I’ll wait out here.” Charlie gestures to the waiting room. “Just let me know when you’re ready to leave.”
I nod, and give Charlie a soft smile. There’s no reason to be mean to him. This isn’t his doing and he’s only ever been nice to me.
“Follow me,” the woman gestures and leads me down the hall. “I’m Marg, by the way. I don’t know how much your partner has told you about Golden Oaks, but it’s an all inclusive facility. Johnny does have a roommate, we encourage sharing a space to further the rehabilitation process. Now, Johnny is still detoxing, so he might be a little agitated, but I assure you he is doing a lot better.” Marg stops in front of one of the doors and turns back to give me a sympathetic smile. “Now I know this will be hard, but I promise you this is the best place for your brother to be. This is Geroge,” she points to a tall, muscular man standing in the hallway. “Leave the door open and if you need anything, call for Geroge, okay?”
“Okay.” I repeat.
Marg pulls open the door with the same chipperness she has shown since I’ve arrived. “Johnny,” she calls. “Look who’s here to visit.” Satisfied with the smile on Johnny’s face, she adds “I’ll leave you two.” and goes on her way.
“Banana,” Johnny smiles and opens up his arms to embrace me.
“Johnny,” I lean into his embrace, tears forming in my eyes. “You okay?”
“It sucks.” He tells me when we’re finished hugging. He sits down on the full sized bed with plush pillows and pats the comforter for me to join him. “I’m getting there.” He adds.
The room is gorgeous. It has dark fake hardwood flooring, creamy white paint, and nature inspired artwork. It’s nicer than any place we’ve ever lived in. Hell, I would move in here if I could. Gio must be paying a fortune for this place.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I should have protected you better.”
“Nah,” he waves a hand. “I fucked up. I should have never brought you there.”
I open my mouth to respond, but he cuts me off. “I’ve been thinking about it, Annie. I brought you to the mouth of the lion. I should have never asked you to be a part of that. If I would have left you at home he wouldn’t be using you like he is.”
I frown. “He’s not using me.”
“No, he is.” He cuts in. “He’s using you to manipulate me.”
“Johnny-”
“I’ll stay here, Banana. I’m gonna get clean, for you, and then I’ll get rid of him.”
My heart stills. “Johnny, you can’t get rid of him.”
“Why? Why not?” His voice rises.
“Calm down-”
“No, Annie. I’m gonna kill him.” He stands, pacing now. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.” He mimes shooting a gun.
“Everything okay?” George pops his head in at the commotion.
“Bang!” Johnny shouts, miming shooting George.
“Okay, buddy.” George looks at me. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.”
“Okay.” I reach for Johnny’s shoulders. “I’m okay J. Hear me? I’m okay. Just focus on you. I’m proud of you.” I can tell he’s not hearing me as I kiss his cheek and leave his room. As soon as I step into the hall the tears begin to fall down my cheeks.
My brother is fucked up. More than alcohol and gambling, and I’ve been too afraid to admit it. I look around at the pretty, shiny halls of the facility Gio had placed him in. Way nicer that anything I’ve ever done for him.
“You okay?” Charlie asks when I reach the lobby.
“Fine. Let’s go.” I need to get out of here, I need to get away from this place.
Marg calls a polite goodbye, but I’m already through the door. I climb into Charlie’s Acadia and curl into myself. With my head in my eyes I start to cry harder.
To his credit, Charlie is silent as he paces the car in drive and pulls onto the road. After a moment, I pull
