I tense up.
Fuck.
I can feel the anger rising up and up, it’s about to boil over, and there’s no stopping it, my heart is pounding loud enough to feel and hear it in my eardrums.
I ball my hands into fists.
“I’m not talking about him,” I snap, my jaw clenching. “Fuck, what does it matter anyway, I never knew him, either of them so stop with the twenty questions and just drop it, alright?”
I rise up, my chair screeches across the hard floor as I turn and stalk out of the deli, other diners turning their attention to me. Fuck them, I don’t care what they think about me.
I jump in my car and slam the door closed, resting my head on the steering wheel, my knuckles turning whit as my grip tightens.
One.
Two.
Three…
I breath deep, trying to steady my breathing.
Four.
Five...
The passenger door opens and shuts softly. I can feel her eyes on me without having to look at her.
I shouldn’t have snapped at her, she didn’t deserve that.
But I can’t control myself when it comes to him.
Hayley clears her throat. “I… um… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
I should reassure her, tell her it’s okay, but I’m scared to open my mouth in case I tell her more than I probably should, hurt her even more than I already have.
Instead, I stay silent, I turn the ignition and my car roars to life.
The atmosphere inside is so thick you could cut it with a knife, it's as if all the air has been sucked out, it’s suffocating.
For the entire journey, we stay in an awkward silence all the back to my hotel.
Chapter 13
Hayley
Kyle and I don’t speak all the way to the hotel, we continue in complete silence through the lobby and into the elevator. I attempt to make eye contact a few times to no success, Kyle simply turns his head away in the opposite direction to avoid my gaze.
His hands ball into fists, his breathing heavy but controlled, as if he’s trying to calm himself.
When we enter the suite, Kyle heads straight for his bedroom and slams the door behind him, leaving me standing in the middle of the room, alone.
I shouldn’t have pushed the subject of his real parents, it was dumb, but how was I supposed to know how he was going to react?
Why the hell did I even ask him about them? My heart tightens. I hurt him.
I head over to the couch and sit down, resting my elbows on my knees. I run my hands through my hair, taking a long deep breath, unsure as what to do.
I sit there for a moment before I stand up and walk towards the bedroom.
I clear my throat and knock on the door. “Kyle... look, I think it would be better if I just leave, I can see you don’t want me around me anymore, so I’ll go. I don’t care about the money, I just don’t want to make this even more uncomfortable for you, or for me. I'll come back for my stuff another time,” I say. I rest my forehead against the door. “Goodbye, Kyle. I'm sorry.” I straighten up and walk away, heading for the front door.
As I near the door, I hear a door open behind me, followed by heavy footsteps coming for me fast and loud.
“Hayley, wait.” Kyle grasps my arm and spins me around to face him.
He touches my face lightly, caressing my cheek with his thumb, his touch setting my skin alight. “It’s not you who has to be sorry. It’s me who keeps fucking everything up and doing and saying the wrong thing.” He rests his forehead onto mine, closing his eyes.
His closeness has my heart pounding. He’s so close. Close enough that if I lean in, just a little, his lips will touch mine. I can see the hurt that fills his red, bloodshot eyes.
I want to kiss him.
“I want to tell you about me, I just don’t know how, don’t know where to start. It’s dark, Hayley, really fucking dark, I don’t want to drag you into that.” His eyes never leave mine, they really are beautiful, like sapphires.
“You aren’t the only one with a dark past, Kyle.”
He sighs. “If you really want to go, then I can’t stop you.”
“What about the deal?” I ask.
“Fuck the deal, fuck the money, fuck everything, just…” His hold on my face tightens slightly and his jaw tenses. His voice lowers, almost to a whisper, “please don’t leave.”
My heart lurches at his plea, at the sincerity in his voice, it catches me off guard. He wants me to stay.
I look up into his eyes as he stares just as deeply into mine.
I exhale slowly. “Okay.”
He releases a sigh of relief, letting go his grip on my face. “It’ll be better. I promise I’ll try.”
I nod.
“I’m going to go take a quick shower, make yourself at home, I won’t be long.” He smiles down at me before he turns and disappears into the bedroom.
I hear the bathroom door close and the shower turn on.
I look down the hallway that leads to a series of doors. It has just occurred to me, that in the past two days since I’ve been here, I haven’t taken a look around.
Aside from the living area, kitchen, bedroom and en suite bathroom, there is a walk-in closet, not an inch of space that isn’t taken up with crisp white shirts, rows, and rows of suit jackets of different colours and dress pants to match. There is a study, with a pool table and bookshelves from floor to ceiling filled with books, DVD’s, CDs, and vinyl records. In the corner is a beautiful record player in a glossy mahogany finish. A grand armchair sits in the corner nearest the window that overlooks the city, no matter which window in this apartment I gaze out of, the view never fails to take my breath away.
Another room off to the left leads to an office, a
