I nod.
“I’m trying to stop him, but it’s like I’m looking through a window or something. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get to her, I can’t stop him.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, he pinches his nose with his free hand, his other, still holding mine.
I squeeze his hand.
“Only tonight the dream was different, tonight, my mother’s face is turned towards me, like she can see me, so I look away, when I look back up, my mother’s face has gone,” he turns and looks at me, “and yours in its place.”
My heart stops.
“I couldn’t get to you, I couldn’t save you.” He drops my hand buries his face in his both of his, the heels of his hands digging into the sockets of his eyes.
“Look at me.” I pull his hands away from his face, “I’m okay. Nightmares can’t hurt you, they’re just dreams, you know that.”
“It felt so real, they always feel so real,” he says.
“I know.”
“I don’t ever want to be like him, Hayley. Ever.” His voice begins to crack.
I press my palm against the side of his face. “You are nothing like him. Nothing.”
I wrap my arms around him, and I hold him until he falls asleep. I carefully lay him down on the couch, his head on the cushion to the side of him.
I want this man, this beautiful broken man.
I want to be the one to put him back together, to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart, erase the pain he feels towards his birth mother, and take away his anger for the monster that fathered him.
I want him, there’s no denying it.
I may even be in danger of falling for him. Scratch that, I'm already falling, I’ve been falling since I met him, it’s now just a case of when I hit the bottom and how hard it’s going to hurt.
∞∞∞
The next morning, sunlight streams into the room through the floor to ceiling window.
My neck is bent at an odd angle, I begin to sit up, rubbing my aching neck, squinting against the harsh light that burns my eyes. It is then that I realise I was leaning against Kyle’s shoulder, I must have fallen asleep on him last night.
“Good morning,” Kyle says, startling me.
I jerk. “Jesus Christ. I thought you were asleep.”
“Nope, been awake for about half an hour.”
“So, you’ve been sitting here waiting for me to wake up?”
“I didn’t want to disturb you, you looked so peaceful.”
I smile, slightly embarrassed by the fact that he was watching me sleep.
Kyle reaches for my hand and brings it up to his lips, kissing the back of it softly. He stretches and stands up. “I’m going to hop in the shower, I won’t be long.”
As he makes his way towards the en suite, he strips off his shirt, revealing the toned muscles of his strong, wide back. I can just about make out a large tattoo that makes up the space across his shoulder blades.
A vision enters my mind, me on my back, Kyle hovering above me, my nails scraping across his back, digging into the flesh leaving raw, red marks on his skin as he rocks into me, moving inside me...
The sound of the shower snaps me out of my daydream.
I walk into the bedroom to change, brushing through my matted hair with my fingers, realising I forgot to pack my hairbrush when I went home.
I check my phone, I have a few new messages from Aaron and Gwen. I know I should call them, but I can’t even face the thought of trying to explain the situation I’m in. I know it’s unconventional and messed up but being here with Kyle doesn’t seem so bad anymore.
Something shifted between us yesterday, the unsettled, tense atmosphere filled with dislike and resentment has faded. Since our confessions to each other yesterday, we’ve grown closer, seen each other in a different light.
I hear the shower shut off and the cubicle doors slide open.
I begin to leave the room when I notice the slither of light coming from a crack in the bathroom door, I peer through it.
I should not be doing this.
I should not be doing this.
Kyle steps into my view through the crack in the door, he’s completely naked. He’s facing away from me, drying his hair with his towel, his arms and shoulders muscles flexing with the movement. I couldn’t make it out before, but I can see his tattoo clearer now, it’s of the devil holding a hand of playing cards, an Ace, a King, a Queen a Jack and a ten, all diamonds - A Royal Flush.
My gaze travels down to his ass, defined and firm. A sharp jolt flows through my body and down to my core, electrifying my body, heat beginning to build between my legs at the sight of him. Arousal is still very much a foreign feeling to me, one that I haven’t felt in such a long time, since before what happened to me. I had finally accepted that, that day had made that part of my body shut down, but now I realise those feelings were there all along, lying dormant waiting for something, someone to wake me up.
Kyle.
My clit is throbbing with need, with desire, with want for him. I squeeze my thighs together to quell the ache, it has no effect.
He begins to turn around to face in my direction, so I hop out of sight, tip toeing out of the bedroom as quietly and discreetly as possible.
I lean against the wall, my heart racing.
Did he see me watching him?
Is that why he left the door slightly open?
Did he want me to see him?
Did I want him to?
Yes. I did.
I make my way into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water to cool myself down, I’m now hyperventilating, the ache between my legs isn’t subsiding.
The bathroom door closes and moments later Kyle emerges out
