I bury my face in my hands, digging the heels of my hands into the sockets of my eyes in frustration.
“Tell me what happened.”
“Payn happened.” I spit out his name in disgust.
“Okay…” he draws out, waiting for me to elaborate.
I sigh deeply.
Should I tell him what happened to her? It’s not my secret to tell. But the only way he can understand is if he knows.
“She was raped… when she was seventeen. The man who did it, was Nicholas Payn.”
He chokes. “What? Are you serious?”
“Why the fuck would I lie?” I snap. I take a deep breath. “Sorry.”
I’m trying to control the overwhelming feeling of anger rising up inside me, threatening to boil over.
“A few days after we met, she told me what happened to her, she mentioned Payn and I froze. Why him? Of all the people in this fucking city, why did it have to be him? Anyway, I couldn’t tell her that he was my biological father, I didn’t want to hurt her, thought I could protect her by keeping quiet, and being the selfish bastard I am, I didn’t want to lose her.”
“She’s in shock, it’s a lot to take in,” my dad says.
“I have to go get her.” I rise up from the couch and race towards the door.
My dad calls me back, but I don’t stop.
I have to get my girl back.
I dial her number, but it goes straight to voicemail. “Fuck,” I mutter.
The elevator seems to be taking its sweet time getting to the ground floor, the wait is unbearable, and the small space is suffocating. When the doors slide open, I charge out, heading for the casino.
I burst through the doors and scan the crowd, earlier, the sound of voices that filled the room were welcoming, now they are stifling, overwhelming, suffocating.
I spot Gwen in the far corner and weave my way through the mass of people until I reach her.
“Have you seen Hayley?” I ask desperately.
Gwen gives me a confused look. “No, I thought she was with you.” Her expression turns to worry. “Is she okay, what's going on?”
“I need to find her.” I turn to leave but Gwen grips my forearm, pulling me back.
“Kyle, where is she? Is she in danger?”
“No, I just need to find her.”
“Have you tried calling her?” she asks.
I cock my head to the side, giving her an unamused look.
She pulls out her own phone and puts it to her ear. She shakes her head. “Voicemail.”
“Where would she go if she was upset?”
“Um... back to my apartment, to Aaron's, maybe not Aaron’s actually, maybe to her dad's, I don’t know... I’ll call Aaron and see if he's heard anything. I'll head to mine, you try her dad’s.”
I hate the fact that Aaron will be pulled into this.
I did the exact thing he knew I would do, I hurt her.
He’s been waiting for this, a way to worm his way back in, now he’s going to be there for her, just like he promised. The thought not doing anything but fuelling the fire inside me all the more.
Fuck.
“Alright.”
I head out of the casino and jump in my car, tearing through the city streets towards Queens.
Chapter 35
Hayley
I cry on my dad’s shoulder, soaking his shirt in my tears.
The last time I cried this much was the day I came home from school to find out my mom had died.
While I was sitting in my math class, doodling in my notebook out of boredom, zoning out from my teacher driveling on about geometry, my dad was walking into their bedroom to find my mom had died in her sleep. My dad had called the school and asked that I be released early, as soon as the office lady stepped foot in that classroom and her gaze landed on me, I knew exactly what had happened.
I ran all the way home and never stopped, I ran harder and faster than I ever had in my entire life. I burst through the front door and finally came to a stop in the living room, where I found my dad and Uncle Jack, sitting on the couch with tears in their eyes and I knew.
I was too late.
My knees buckled underneath me, and I collapsed into a heap on the floor. My dad dropped down next to me and pulled me against him, letting me sob for what felt like hours, I cried until there were no more tears to be shed, until my eyes dried up. I prayed that I never felt the pain that I did that day again, but here I was...
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” my dad asks, kissing my head softly, as his hand strokes my back comfortingly.
I sniff, wiping my eyes on the back of my hand. “He lied to me, dad.”
His hold on me tightens. “I knew it would come to this. I knew that bastard would hurt you one way or another. So, what did he do?”
There’s no way of me explaining it to him without telling him everything.
No way of explaining but to dig up the past and break yet another piece of my dad’s already broken heart. This is going to kill him. But I have to.
I take a deep breath. “Dad, I need to tell you something...”
Chapter 36
Hayley
4 years ago
I’m sitting in my room, music plays softly in the background from my radio next to me on the nightstand while I finish off some homework.
I shouldn’t have left it all until the night before.
I never leave it this late.
Never doing this again that’s for damn sure.
I hear the front door open downstairs followed by voices, my dad’s voice and what sounds like another man’s. It must be the man he met a few weeks ago at the bar around the corner, Nicholas, or something. I haven’t seen or spoken to him much, just a few ‘hellos’, something in the back of my mind tells me to keep my distance. Something
