In that time, I’ve had my cell practically glued to my hip, eagerly awaiting a phone call, a text from her, anything to tell me she’s ready to talk.
I’m desperate to see her.
I need her.
I need her like I need air to breath, like an addict needs a drug.
“Mr King?” I snap back into the board room, each face turned to me, awaiting my response.
“I’m sorry, I’m not feeling so good. What was the question?” I try to focus but I’m struggling. I haven’t been able to focus on much of anything of late, except Hayley, the guilt, the self-hatred, the booze.
“We were discussing the possible buy-out of Ramsden Industries, the price is good, and the time is right. Did you read over the file that I sent over to you?” Warren Miles, one of the larger shareholders in my company asks.
What fucking file?
I vaguely remember signing for a delivery of confidential information three days ago, the drunken haze I was in casting a shadow on my memories. And I vaguely remember throwing the file straight in the trash.
“Oh, no, sorry, I never got around to it,” I say.
“Kyle, this is a steal, it’s a goldmine.”
“Look, I apologise gentleman, my head isn’t in it today. Warren, I trust your instincts on this one, you’ve never steered me wrong in the years we’ve worked with each other. Get the contracts drawn up and we can discuss it further in the next few days. If you’ll excuse me.” I excuse myself from the table and hurry out of the room, loosening my tie around my neck.
I press the button for the lobby in the elevator and the doors glide shut.
My phone vibrates in my pocket
Hope fills me.
Hayley.
I pull out my phone and glance at the caller ID. It’s my mom.
A twinge of disappointment grips me.
“Hey mom.”
“Kyle…” Her voice is quiet and unsteady, as if she’s crying.
The rest of her words send me staggering back against the cool metal of the elevator wall, trying to keep my balance, trying to stop my legs from collapsing underneath me.
The doors slide open and I break into a run, tearing my way through the lobby of the building and into the parking lot to my car.
The engine thunders to life as I burst out onto the street and speed towards the hospital.
Chapter 42
Hayley
“Shit!” I curse, as the plates I was carrying slip through my grasp and smash on the floor, pieces flying in every direction.
“Hayley, go into the back room, don’t worry about this.” Uncle Jack nudges me out of the way gently as he begins clearing up the mess, offering me a reassuring smile.
“Sorry, Uncle Jack.”
“Don’t sweat it, we've all been there.”
“Come on.” Gwen takes my hand and we weave our way through the diner into the back room and sit down on the couch.
It’s been twelve days, nineteen hours and... thirty-seven minutes since I last saw Kyle, since I watched him walk down my driveway to his car.
I was ready to curl up into a ball in my bed and cut myself off from the world, but Gwen wouldn’t allow it. She forced the truth out of me, the whole truth, down to the very last detail, and cried with me all the way through it. We’ve spent every night since in my room, watching everything and anything we could find on Netflix while eating our entire weight in comfort food.
She doesn’t like leaving me alone for too long, so every once in a while, she drops in to check on me, even when I’m at work, like today.
Every day I wake up with a sense of loss, I miss Kyle. I’d become so accustomed to being around him, that when he’s not here, everything feels empty, lonely, somehow. But today it all became too much, I don’t know why today exactly, all I know is, I woke up with an even bigger hole in my chest than usual.
I should hate him for what he did, after all, he lied to me, kept the fact that Nicholas was his real father a secret, hidden from me. All the time we spent together, each time he told me he loved me, each time we made love, he knew.
He knew all along. Would he have ever told me himself, or would he have kept on keeping it from me? But then again, how do you even begin to tell someone that their father was the man that raped you?
Deep down I know in his own way he was trying to protect me, keep the truth hidden to save hurting me, but in the end, as the lie kept going on, and more time passed with him not telling me the truth, the hurt and betrayal became that much more painful.
I never lied about how I feel about you.
His voice echoes in my mind.
I have no reason to believe what he said, not after all the lies, but he seemed so sincere.
“What’s wrong?” Gwen places her hands on mine.
“I miss him, Gwen, so much.”
The door opens and my uncle steps into the room, walking over and perching next to me on the couch. “You alright sweetheart?”
I nod unconvincingly. “No,” I admit.
“It’s been nearly two weeks, have you forgiven him enough to hear him out?” Gwen asks.
“It’s not a case of forgiveness, it’s about trust. He broke that trust when he lied to me. I’m scared.”
“Scared of what?” Gwen presses.
“Scared that if I trust him, he’ll hurt me again.”
“That man loves you, he looks at you how your dad used to look at your mom. He’s kept his distance, giving you time like you asked for, you’ll never know if you’re gonna get hurt again, it’s just a chance you have to take. You can’t run from love in fear of getting hurt.” My uncle grips
