I hate feeling this way, like I’ve hurt him.
“Aaron, I'm sorry.” My voice cutting through the air that is thick with tension. “I hate what happened between us, how we left things. I hate the fact we fell out, that we fought, and that I hurt you, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.”
“It isn’t you who should be apologising, it's me. The way I came onto you, kept pushing and pushing, I just… I can’t believe I did it. I was a dick, and I am so, so sorry for hurting you and making you feel uncomfortable, when you fell, I...” He inhales sharply.
I reach across the table, taking his hands in both of mine. “Hey, it’s okay, really, it was an accident.”
“I’m so sorry.” He squeezes my hands.
“Aaron why didn’t you just tell me how you felt?” I ask.
“I didn’t know how to, I was scared if I told you how I felt that I’d lose you, that having that truth between us would cost me your friendship.”
“Never. Aaron no matter what, I’ll always be your friend.”
He nods, a faint smile touches his lips. “Are you and him…?”
“We’re back together.”
He releases my hands and leans back against the chair. “Why, after everything he’s done?”
“Because I love him, and I forgive him for everything, he had his reasons, in his own way, he was doing what he thought was right at the time.” I sigh deeply. “Aaron, I’m not asking you to like him, I know that will never happen. You’re my best friend and I never want that to change, but I'm happy, he makes me happy, I just want you to be happy for me, too. Please.”
“I only want what’s best for you, Hayley.” His voice softens.
“I get that, I appreciate the concern and I love that you care so much, but you don’t have to worry about me.”
“I’ll never be okay with it, with you being with him, but I don’t want to lose you. I'll always love you, Hayley, and I’ll always be here for you, always.”
“Thank you.” I smile.
“If friendship is all you can offer, I’ll take it.” He smiles. “Come here.” He rises from the booth and stands, his arms open for me.
I slide out of the booth and step into his open arms, he wraps around me tightly, resting his chin on the top of my head.
“Aaron, promise me you’ll find a girl that loves you the way you deserve to be loved.”
“I promise.”
“I’m just sorry I’ll never be her.”
“Me too.”
Chapter 49
Hayley
“I want to see him,” I blurt out as I’m sat on the couch in Kyle’s apartment, curled up into his side as we watch a movie. I look up to see his brows knitting in question. “Payn... Myers, whatever his name is.”
He stiffens beside me, taking a deep breath. “Why?” His jaw clenches.
“I don’t know... closure, I guess. I just feel like, like I need to see him, behind bars, knowing that he’ll never get out. I think that seeing him like that will somehow help me get past everything.”
He doesn’t speak, he just stares out of the window as if deep in thought. He removes his arm from around my shoulders and leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees.
“I get that this is sudden, and probably a stupid idea. I don’t particularly relish the idea of seeing him again, but his face has haunted me ever since. I want to be strong enough to face him, to look into his eyes and not recoil in fear,” I explain.
He nods slowly. “Alright.” He turns to me and takes my hands in his. “If it’s something you feel you need to do, then I’m in.”
I smile, burying my face in his shoulder. “Thank you,” I whisper.
He kisses my forehead.
“Kyle, this is a really big ask, and I understand if you say no, but... will you come with me?”
He tenses again, clearly the thought of coming face to face with him, fills him with as much dread as it does me. He nods slowly. “I’ll come with you.”
“Really?”
“Do you really think I’d let you face that bastard alone?” He cups my cheek. “Not. A. Fucking. Chance.”
∞∞∞
We’re sat in front of a glass screen in a booth separated from the other visitors with a partition, waiting to see him. I haven’t been able to settle all day, the apprehension of seeing him again has me on edge, only managing a few restless hours sleep. My knee bounces nervously, my heart pounding so hard it’s all I can hear in my eardrums.
Kyle’s hand covers mine, squeezing it gently. I look up to his face as he sits next to me, he smiles softly, and a fragment of my fear is washed away. “I’m right here. We can leave anytime you want.”
“I have to do this, for me.”
There’s a sound of a buzzer, and inmates filter in through the iron gate. We wait and watch as a man comes to a stop behind the chair on the other side of the screen opposite us. I look up into his face and I gasp. It’s him. Nicholas Payn. The man that has haunted me for four years, the face I so desperately wanted to rid from my mind, is stood only a few meters away from me.
He looks so much older than I remembered, he’s so much thinner, a little too thin, sickly thin. His eyes have sunken into their sockets somewhat, his cheeks hollowing, and his hair is completely grey, it’s clear that prison life hasn’t been good to him.
He pulls back the chair and takes a seat. He leans his elbows on the table in front of him. “To what do I owe this visit?” he asks.
“Do you know who I am?” I ask, trying my hardest to keep my voice steady.
“Should I?”
“Four years ago, you let yourself into my bedroom while my dad was passed out downstairs and raped me.”
One corner of his lips twitch a little. “Raped you?
