I decided to get out of the house before she could confuse bikers and bike racers any further. It was getting late, and I needed to get to the complex to help with the preparations for the race. We had to do all the last-minute checks and tune-ups on the bikes, go through some practice runs, and get everything packed and ready to go over to the racetrack. Quentin told me about the tailgate party Merry threw for the fans before each race, and I looked forward to checking it out before taking my place in the pits.
“Thank you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I told Pam.
She waved me off and grabbed a cloth to wipe off Willa’s face. My daughter had a new determination to feed herself, but much of the remaining oatmeal and fruit had ended up on her chubby cheeks rather than actually in her mouth.
She waved her had dismissively. “It’s nothing. You’re so much more important in my life. My daughter moved away after declaring to me she decided she was never going to have children. Ever. Now, that’s a perfectly valid life choice. I can’t say I believe every woman is supposed to give birth or raise children. That’s up to everyone to make their own decision, and I would never want anyone to bring a child into this world if they didn’t really want one. But my daughter is my only child. Which means when she made the decision to not have children, she made the decision for me not to have grandchildren. That hurts a bit. But getting to be here with Willa is like having a grandbaby of my own. I’d pay you to let me watch her if I thought you’d take it.”
She finished with a laugh, and I smiled at her. Walking around the table, I kissed Willa on the head.
“I love you so much. You be a good girl, and I will see you when I get home. I’ll be later today, but you can call me.”
“Luh oou, Mama,” she said, and I just about melted.
Saying my goodbyes, I rushed out of the house and jumped into my car. The thought of what Pam had said stayed with me throughout my drive to the complex and as I rushed to the garage to get started on everything that needed to be done before the race. I really was lucky. Coming to a new place without really knowing anyone and not having a set plan of what I was going to do was a huge risk. Anything could have happened. I could have ended up totally alone, without the extra income I needed or without someone to take care of my daughter so I could work. Instead, I got my dream job and ended up with a neighbor who was rapidly becoming more like family. With everything going on and all the stress I was feeling, it was such a relief to know I had that.
I was the first one at the garage, and I immediately went to work going over all the checklists and readying everything that needed to be brought with us to the race. When Darren and Gus got to the garage there was too much to do for me to feel awkward, which was a blessing. I was still thinking about the encounter from the day before and how he’d looked after I told him I couldn’t go to dinner with the rest of the team. He seemed genuinely disappointed, and that made me feel guilty. But not just because I didn’t go out with everybody. I felt guilty because I didn’t tell him where I was actually going to be and the truth about me moving to Charlotte. That would have been a moment when I could have broached the subject. Right then I could have told him I wasn’t able to go to dinner with the rest of the team, but that I would very much like him to come back to my place with me.
Of course, that probably would have come across in a much different way than I intended it. But at least it would have gotten the conversation started. A conversation that definitely needed to be had at some point. Just not yet. I wasn’t ready.
The day flew by incredibly fast. It was as if time had been sped up and I was constantly chasing it, trying to fit far more into the minutes flying past than it was possible to get done. But I just kept going, kept working as hard as I could to get everything done. By the time we needed to pack up and head to the racetrack, some sort of miracle had occurred, and we’d managed to check everything off the lists.
“Is it always this hectic on race day?” I asked Vince as we loaded the trucks.
“Pretty much,” he told me with a laugh.
“It’s pretty intense,” I told him.
He laughed again, the sound enough to tell me he recognized the craziness that was his family leading up to an evening at the racetrack.
“You’ll get used to it,” he promised me.
The tailgating party I was looking forward to was fun, but I found myself thinking about the race. I ended up going down to the track before everybody else so I could get a feel for the area. It might have seemed silly to anybody else, but since it was my first time with the team, I wanted to feel comfortable and know I was ready to handle whatever might happen. Pam called me a few times throughout the day and checked in with me when it was time to put Willa to bed. I wanted to talk to her more, but it was important for me to stay focused on what I was doing. Taking care of the bikes was critical, and I had to do everything I could to keep Darren
