Chapter Six
Ethan
I watch her walk to her car with her head down, and everything in my body and my head is telling me to run after her. But my mother’s in my arms, clawing at me, so I focus on her.
Fifteen minutes ago, I stood in front of the diner, and Casey told me she was gone. It cut me off at the knees in more ways than one. I put my hand to my chest to stop the pain from shooting through me, taking a step back.
“What?” I whispered, and for the first time in five years, I had regrets. For the first time in five years, I was brought back to the memory of when I left. I blocked it out, blocked it all out for the last five years, and now I was back there. “When? How?”
“You don’t care. At least that’s what you said, isn’t it?” He looked at me while I glared at him and tried to steady my heart rate. “You wrote them off five years ago, didn’t you?” I advanced on him, and he didn’t move an inch. He didn’t even flinch. “I believe what you said was you had no family.”
“I’m not playing with you,” I hissed, standing toe-to-toe with him. “Where is she?”
“Dad,” Quinn said from beside him.
“She’s gone for the weekend,” he said, and the tightness in my body went away like a huge sigh of relief. “I’ll call her now and see where she is.” He took his phone out, and he called her right away. “I’ll be right over.” He hung up. “She’s home.” I just nodded at him and walked over to the truck, getting into the back. No one said anything as we made our way to the house that I left five years ago.
It had been five years, but it felt like yesterday. My heart sped up as we made our way to the house. Not my house, not my mother’s house, not my family’s house—just the house. When he turned on the street, if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought I was having a panic attack. I reverted to my training, but nothing, nothing could prepare me for the sight before me.
Beau with his arm around my mother’s shoulder and her face streaked with tears. She looked the same, but you could see the pain in her eyes. It hit me that I put that pain there. I did that. But I didn’t stare at her for too long. Instead, I looked at Chelsea with her arm around Emily, who didn’t turn and look at me. My mother saw me first, her eyes meeting mine. She walked to me in a daze, her hand on her mouth as she tried to keep the sob at bay, but it roared out of her.
My body acted in reflex, opening my arms, and she rushed into them. “I’m so sorry,” she said over and over again.
Now she’s in my arms, and I am watching the car drive away from me. Listening to her tell me she loves me, I remember the times I’ve been back from deployment when families would meet their soldiers. The tears from both the soldiers and their families usually echo in the big empty room. I would come back and walk right past them to a waiting car.
My head shut off, and my body shut off. I would make my way to my cabin in the woods that I bought and fixed up during the year. It was a shack when I got it—no water, no electricity, nothing—but I fixed it up every single chance I got, and now at least it has the basic necessities.
“You’re home,” my mother says, pulling out of my arms and putting her hands on my face. “You’re home.”
I don’t answer her. I don’t say anything because, to be honest, I have no idea what to say. Am I home? I don’t even know what home is. “You look so good,” she says, her whole face lighting up, and then she turns to Beau. “Look at him.”
“I see him,” Beau says with his hands on his hips. He doesn’t take his eyes off me, his own tears in his eyes. Chelsea joins him, and he puts his arm around her shoulder as she glares at me. The door opens, and Keith comes out with Toby behind him.
“Is that Ethan?” Keith says my name more of a question. Meanwhile, Toby just walks to Chelsea and grabs her hand.
“Look, guys,” my mother says. “Your brother is home.”
“Great,” Keith says, then looks at Beau. “Can I go to Billy’s?”
“Yeah.” He nods, and Keith doesn’t say anything to me, which surprises my mother. I see the anger in his eyes; it’s the same anger I’ve seen before many times when I looked at myself in the mirror. Whereas Toby’s eyes are just confused.
“But your brother is here,” my mother says, and I finally speak up.
“It’s fine,” I say, shaking my head. “I am not going to stay long anyway.” Her face falls, and Beau must sense it because he moves forward and puts his hands on her arms. “I just got into town, and I have to check out the place I’m going to stay at.”
“What?” she whispers. “You are going to stay here.” Her thumb motions to the house. “Your room is exactly the same,” she tells me, and I’m shocked that she kept my room. I mean, I wasn’t exactly living at home when I left, but I did have my bed and some clothes there. I would have thought that Chelsea would have taken the room since it was bigger than hers. “We didn’t touch anything in it.”
I’m about to say something to her when I hear a car pull up, and it stops suddenly. The passenger door opens, and Kallie comes out of the car. Her mouth hangs open, and then the tears come. She leaves the
