“Don’t go there,” my grandfather says, and I look at him and my grandmother, who blinks away tears. “You don’t go there.” I look down and then up. “You need to fix yourself before you go there.” My grandmother walks away. “There are demons inside you, Ethan. You need to get them out before you take that step.”
“She’s engaged,” I say.
“Doesn’t mean shit,” he spits. “That man is not good enough for her. The only reason she probably took him was that he was another connection to you.”
“Emily wouldn’t do that,” I say, ready to argue with him.
“Not the same Emily you left behind,” my grandfather says, and all I can do is look back at the table. Only, she isn’t there. She’s hugging my mother and then moving around the yard, saying hello to everyone. She smiles as big as she can, but it’s as fake as can be. Not once do her eyes light up when she smiles. Not once do her eyes crinkle at the sides. I watch her from afar the whole time. I say hello to all the people I left behind. I say hello to my cousins, who are now grown. None of them say more than hey to me. Forget about Chelsea, Keith, and Toby—who don’t even come my way—and I’m not even going to mention Amelia and Travis, who pretend I don’t exist. My mother doesn’t leave my side for long, and when she does, it gives me a chance to breathe. I look around, seeing that Jacob is off to the far right with Kallie by his side the whole time as they sit at the table with Casey, Olivia, and Beau. None of them get up or come say hello to me.
“We should get a picture,” my mother says to Billy. “All the boys are here. We need a new one for the bar.” She calls Quinn over and asks him to go wrangle all the boys, and you can see that he’s uncomfortable.
“Why don’t we do it another time?” I say, and she looks at me. “All the kids are playing.”
She smiles and nods. “I’ll be back.” Turning, I walk away from the barbecue and make my way to the barn. I look around, seeing if I can spot Emily. I spot Jenna with Brett laughing with another couple. Walking away, I enter the barn, and then I hear her voice.
“You are so pretty,” she says. I watch her petting my horse, and it’s like she’s telling her all her secrets. “Oh, don’t you get all feisty on me.” She laughs at her as the horse huffs at her. “I snuck two apples and four sugar cubes.”
“It’s not good to give the horse too much sugar,” I say, startling her. She turns to me, and the only true smile she had all day is gone when she sees me. “I didn’t know you would be in here.”
“I was just leaving.” She turns and walks past me.
“Emily.” I call her name, and she stops walking, but she doesn’t turn around. “We need to talk.”
She turns now and looks me straight in the eyes. “Anything you had to say to me ended up on the side of the road when you opened the window and threw me away.”
“I didn’t throw you away.” I advance on her. “I would never.”
“Oh, but you did,” she says. “Besides, I don’t think there is anything you have to say that I want to hear.” She wipes away a tear. “Nothing.” I let her walk away from me, knowing that here’s not the time or the place for this. I let her walk away, knowing that the next time I won’t let her walk away from me.
“It took her a long time,” my mother says behind me, “to get over you.” She walks in now. “It took us a long time.”
I look down now, not sure what to say. “Yeah.”
“I’ve been on pins and needles since you got here,” she starts, and I see her wringing her hands. “And I know that Beau said to give you some space”—her head shakes as she wipes away tears—“but I just can’t.”
“We don’t have to do this today.”
“No, we do,” she says. “For my sanity, for the kids, I need to say something.” She closes her eyes. “I thought telling Beau would have been hard, but telling you …” She lets out a huge breath. “I didn’t have the best upbringing.” She starts her story. “I was pregnant and alone. He told me he loved me, and I was stupid enough to believe it. Then he hid behind his father and made him deal with me.”
I step forward to her. “Please don’t. I need to get this all out. I had no one to turn to, and I couldn’t tell the one person I wanted to tell. I caught Jacob while he was walking into prom, and I didn’t give him a choice. I was the one who didn’t want anyone to find out,” she tells me. “I was the one who kept it a secret and begged him not to say anything. It was me.” She finally sobs out. “You can’t hate him for what I did. You were raised surrounded by the best male influences you could ever want. You were raised to be polite and kind. You were raised with morals and compassion, something that Liam didn’t have in him. We loved you with everything that we had. We love you with everything that we are,” she says. Beau comes running in and takes her in his arms.
“It’s okay.” He rubs her back. “It’s all okay.”
“I have to tell him,” she says, pushing through.
“To question who your father is after everything he gave up for you.” She shakes her head. “You have to know in your heart that he is your father regardless of whose blood runs through you. At the end of the
