I blink the tears away whenever I think of Ethan and what we had. It obviously meant nothing to him; I obviously meant nothing to him. The promises he made were empty, and I deserved better. It took me a long time to move on, and Ethan would always own a piece of my heart.
A knock on the door makes me look up, and I see Drew. “Hey there, gorgeous.” He comes in wearing a blue suit with his blond hair perfectly styled. The smile on his face makes his blue eyes light up. “I was hoping you would still be here.”
“Hey, you.” I smile and stand as he comes over and kisses my cheek. “This is a nice surprise.”
“Yeah, I had a meeting in the area.” He puts his hands in his pockets. “So I thought I would swing by and see if you wanted to get an early bite to eat.”
“Sure,” I say, gathering all my stuff. “How about I meet you at the diner?”
“That sounds good,” he says. “Maybe we can do a movie night tonight, and I can make you breakfast in bed.”
“Yeah, let’s talk about it at the diner,” I tell him, not willing to have this conversation in the middle of my workplace. He just nods his head at me and comes in again, kissing my cheek and walking out.
I started dating Drew a year ago, and to be honest, we just fell into it. We used to hang out together with Ethan since they were best friends, and when Ethan cut us both out of his life, we had each other. We started hanging out when he came back home from college to take over his father's insurance company. One thing led to another, and he proposed six months ago. I want to say I said yes because I love him with everything I have, but I didn’t. I said yes because he threw me this amazing birthday party and invited all my loved ones and got down on one knee.
No one knows that I stayed up the night before in my hammock, looking up at the stars until sunrise just as I have been doing since I was sixteen. I don’t know where Ethan is, and I don’t know if he even remembers the date or cares, but deep in my heart, I imagine that he wishes me a happy birthday at sunrise each year. Wherever he is, he looks up, and for that one day, we do the same thing.
After I turn off the light in the room and walk out, I keep my head down, avoiding any eyes. The last thing I want is the town talking about how Drew visited me, and I left with tears in my eyes. I get in my car and make my way over to the diner. I spot Drew outside on his phone as he paces back and forth in front of the diner. He spots me and stops talking, hanging up the phone right away. “Hey.” He reaches for my hand.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, pointing at the phone.
“Oh, yeah, just my father,” he tells me as we walk into the diner. He holds the door open for me like he always does. I smile at him and walk in, seeing a couple of parents and the kids all wave at us.
“We should have taken it to go,” Drew says, guiding us to a booth at the end of the room. “So then you can relax.”
“I am relaxed,” I tell him, sliding into the booth. “This is fine.”
He takes off his jacket and tosses it in the corner of the booth. It should make me want to slide into the booth with him, wrap my hands around his neck, and kiss him. Instead, it just makes me smile. Looking out the window, I wonder what’s going on with me. I’ve been a bit out of it for a couple of weeks now. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like something is coming or something is going to change, and I don’t know what it is.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, and I nod. “Me, too.”
“I had a granola bar for lunch,” I tell him, and his eyes narrow. “I had a meeting with a student, and then I was on duty.”
“I told you to start making a lunch,” he says. “Or we can finally move in together, and I can make you lunch.” I avoid the way he looks at me.
“I told you before,” I start to say. “I don’t think it’s a good idea until we decide where we want to live.”
“I think the first step is for you to pick a date.” He smirks at me.
“Oh, trust me, I know. Your mother keeps bringing me the bridal and wedding magazines once a month with some of the pages folded down for me to look at.” I look around the diner and see how everything has changed in five years. In the beginning, I used to walk in, and everyone would look at me with pity, and the whispers were always the same.
Poor thing is still waiting for him.
Poor thing looks like she hasn’t eaten since he left.
Poor thing will never move on. One doesn’t forget their first love.
“They want to book the country club,”
