“I like my privacy.”
“Yeah.” There’s privacy, and then there’s secrecy. Two very different things, and Indie falls into the latter category. “How will you handle running off with Ethan, then?”
Me. How will you handle being with me?
I pull back and almost come. Her eyes are on fire, and her mouth is parted like it’s begging me to slide my tongue inside.
“I’ll have to change my name and dye my hair,” she says.
A joke. Of course. She has no intention of even considering what it would be like for us to be us.
“I’m sure he would protect you from the paparazzi.”
“How?”
“There are things you can do to stop people from your past or your personal life talking.”
“That’s not guaranteed to work.”
“There are no guarantees with anything. Is something really worth it if there’s no risk?”
She tenses in my arms. “I don’t like risk.”
“You don’t have to like it; you just have to be willing to go for it.”
“That’s scary.”
“When I auditioned for the movie, I risked the casting crew telling me that I wasn’t good enough.”
Her lips smile an inch from mine. “You did it, anyway.”
“Because the risk was worth it. Now look. I get to bring my favourite person out to LA, and I get to spoil her for a few days.”
“You’re my favourite person, too, Hollywood.”
“Yeah? Good thing really because we’ll always be together.”
She doesn’t move but her eyes say enough.
When she’s ready to leap, I’ll be right there waiting.
Nineteen
Indie
I understand fully what he’s saying. I’m not stupid. At no point during our conversation about how I would cope with someone famous were we talking about Ethan Franklin.
He wants to know if there’s a chance for us.
It’s a question I struggle with almost every day. I would love nothing more than to be with him again. To be his officially. I want him so badly, but there is no way to have him and not have everything that comes with dating a movie star.
“Hey,” he says, stroking his fingertips across my cheek. “What’s wrong?”
You.
My body trembles under his touch. He’s excited, I can feel his erection against my thigh. I ache to move and feel him between my legs.
His eyebrows draw together. “Indie, you’re scaring me a little. What did I say to freak you out?”
God, Spence, I love you.
It’s the look in his eyes, the intensity and the lust that beg me to make stupid decisions ruled by my heart.
I have to be smarter than that.
A relationship could ruin us, and I can’t afford to see my counsellor more often than fortnightly if I want to save. How can I cope with my parents without having Spencer there? Even if he’s not physically close.
“Tell me why you’re so scared, Indie,” he pleads. “I’ll make it better.”
I close my eyes against the unbearable heart-tearing in my chest.
I can’t have him.
“Indie.” His voice betrays his fraying patience.
I press my lips together and try to hold back the tears.
“Indie,” he growls.
“Yes?” I squeak.
“Don’t yes me. Start talking.”
“I don’t… I don’t know what to say.”
His eyes penetrate mine. “Yeah, you do. The problem is that you won’t let yourself.”
“Spencer, it’s not that easy for—” My brain shuts down completely.
He’s no longer inches away from me. Spencer’s mouth is on mine.
I don’t even remember what I was going to say. Every argument I have for not being with him seems ridiculous when his lips move against mine, coaxing me into a kiss that I know will change my world.
I run my hands up his back and into his hair. My mouth parts when his tongue sweeps my lip. I’m so turned on I could scream.
I want to kiss him until I can’t breathe.
The sound he makes as my tongue slides against his… I will hear it for the rest of my life. It makes my clit throb so hard, I’m desperate for release. I move my hips, positioning his hard cock exactly where I want it to be.
Each shattered piece of me fuses back together with every brush of his lips. There is nothing but him and me, and I would give anything to have this moment last forever.
I wrap my leg over his and arch into him as my body vibrates with need. I want more. I need to be closer.
Spencer, reading my mind, runs his hand down my back and over my butt. He pulls me into him, and I grind like a prostitute.
“Indie,” he murmurs against my lips. His hand slides down to the back of my thigh. “You’re perfect,” he murmurs. “So fucking perfect.”
I writhe against him, embarrassingly so, and I kiss him harder. He groans into my mouth and runs his fingers along the top of my thigh. I hate my pyjamas shorts.
Spencer’s kisses mutate into something that feels too big for me to comprehend. He rolls me onto my back and grinds his erection between my legs. I jolt, almost coming on the spot.
His eyes are dark and wild as he stares down at me like I’m the meal, and he’s starving.
That’s when my self-control disappears.
I reach out and hook my fingers into his boxers. His mouth parts as I pull them down. I’ve never seen Spencer completely naked. He manoeuvres himself so that he can slide them off.
His erection is huge. Intimidatingly so. I’ve never been with anyone. This is my first time for everything, and I want to do it all with him.
He runs his fingertips along my hips and waist, sliding my top up as he goes. I arch my back, and he whips the top over and off my head like he’s done it a thousand times before. My heart skips a beat as he looks me over, paying special attention to my breasts and hard nipples.
“Jesus, you’re beautiful,” he says, continuing this inspection of my body.
I have never felt so exposed and vulnerable, yet so powerful at the same time. The way he looks at me makes me feel pretty. I didn’t think that was possible.
He
