The movie is tipped to be the best action film of the year, and I can’t wait to see Spencer on the big screen.
“He’s a natural,” Jodie says as Spencer stands for photos and offers interviews. He took his time to scribble his signature for people over the barriers, too.
My heart swells as Spencer walks with Ethan, both of them grinning from ear to ear and waving to adoring fans.
I nod. “He was born to do this.”
The realisation of how different we are punches a hole through my chest. I could never do anything like this. I don’t want to talk to strangers and have my photo taken.
How are we ever going to work?
I keep my smile because I honestly couldn’t be happier for him. He deserves this, he’s worked so hard, and his talent is raw and endless.
My Spencer Lowe, the movie star.
“You okay?” Jodie asks when Spencer and his co-stars disappear into the building. The crowd is still going wild. People are shouting Spencer’s name and holding up signs about how much they love him.
“Fine,” I reply. I don’t want to think about what time we have left or how broken I will be when it’s over.
Just enjoy him.
Being happy is weird. I never thought it would come with so much fear. If this is how it feels, I question why everyone is in the pursuit of happiness. It’s like ordering off Wish.
We’re ushered into the cinema to wait until the screening. It doesn’t feel good to ignore Spencer, but it’s too risky to be seen with him. I’ve already been out twice, and we haven’t been caught. Let’s not push it.
There are celebrities here who Mila would be working like a professional. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have her confidence. I do sneak some pictures of them to show her and Wren. They’ll lose it when they know I’ve shared the same air space as Carson Black.
I go to the bathroom when Jodie and Andrew begin to mingle with the stars. My make-up is fine, but I pretend I need a touch up. Holding onto the sink, I look at my reflection in the mirror.
What are you doing here?
My eyes sting with tears.
It feels like I’m a million miles away from home, pretending to be someone else.
I can do this for him. My unease at being here and being around all of these important people doesn’t mean anything compared to Spencer.
Think of what Wren and Mila would do.
They’d grab a drink and make the most of the evening. Mila would have a selfie with everyone in the building; security and managers included. She would flirt with celebrities, and probably Jared and Denny, too.
Smiling so I’m only ever seen as a happy, supportive friend, I walk out of the bathroom and join the crowd. Cheerful voices, clinking glasses, and laughter fills the room. I catch Spencer chatting with Ethan and a woman I’m sure I’ve seen online, but I can’t be sure.
If he’s still nervous, it doesn’t show.
After a little while of drinking and chatting, we’re shown into the screening room.
The cinema is fancy, adorned with artwork, extra-comfortable seats, and a lot of champagne. Quarantine is written in lights on the walls outside of the screening room. There are posters from the set, where Spencer is looking very gorgeous, obviously—much better than the poster I saw of him in his kitchen. Not that he ever takes a bad picture. Some photos in here are candid snaps of him laughing with other members of the cast and crew. Those are my favourite. One picture in particular that I want to steal is a black and white picture of Spencer’s set chair. Lowe is written on the back of it with Spence in the distance smiling, his hand midway through his hair.
“Thank you,” I say, taking a glass from the tray that’s offered to me.
Jodie sips hers straight away, absolutely loving every minute. We gravitated back to each other when we were told to take our seats.
I sit down, and Spencer drops beside me. “Hi,” he says.
“Hey, Hollywood. This is amazing.”
There are only celebrities and guests in here. I don’t think anyone will think much about Spence sitting with his family. Maybe they’ll mistake me for a family member. Maybe they won’t care at all.
“I’m so excited,” I tell him, grinning like a psycho. “This is your premiere!”
His smile is infectious. “You’ve just realised, huh?”
“No, it just got real. I’m so proud of you.”
He takes my hand on the arm of the chair as the lights dim.
I don’t ever want him to let go.
I watch, enthralled as Spencer lights up the screen. He’s absolutely amazing. I know it’s my Spence up there, but I buy into his character totally. I bet he loved playing someone who was a bit of a dick at first, only out for himself during the apocalypse as he tries to survive. Then enters Ella, Ethan, and the group they’re traveling with, and that changes everything. Spencer’s on-screen romance with Ella is horribly real. I know they’re only acting but it still makes me insanely jealous.
There are lots of fights and power challenges as Jack—Spencer’s character—tries to be the top dog, leading the group to safety. It really is a very good story about human survival, showcasing the good and bad in people when civilisation goes to crap.
My hand tightens around his as his character kisses Ella’s for the third time. Is that really necessary? Out of the corner of my eye, I see him smirk at me. Perhaps my narrowed eyes are giving me away. I don’t really care anymore. After last night there is no need to hide how I feel.
Well, kind of. He still doesn’t know that I’m in love with him.
The credits roll, and applause fills the room. I beam at him, clapping and wolf whistling, making him laugh out loud. I can
