I’ve been seeing Anya for years. I want to be other people’s Anya.
“I couldn’t be prouder of you, Indie. You did all of that by yourself.”
“Thank you. Did you decide if you want to say something at Dad’s funeral?”
“It will only be you and I there,” she says.
All of their old friends were lost to alcohol. Neither of them has any family left. It was just the three of us, until it was just the two of them.
“It still might be nice.”
“I’ll think about it. I’m not sure what I would say. I love your father, but I hate what we both became.”
“You sound resentful.”
“I am, I suppose.” She blows out a breath. “I take responsibly for my part in it. It was my choice to follow him to Hell. He didn’t think about me or you after the accident, not once. I can’t help feeling angry about that. I told him in the early days to get some help, but he told me he was dealing with it in his own way.”
“He was in a bad place.”
She nods, her eyes vacant like she’s back in the past now. “That’s true. I was so scared of what he might do. I remember the first day I drank with him. He was already on eight cans a day. I drank so that he wouldn’t be able to finish the pack. But it was the first time since the accident, about two months prior, that I felt like I had my husband back. He laughed, opened me can after can, and we talked.”
I didn’t know this. I was probably at school. All I remember is that, after she started drinking with him, I was left to get my own meals and wash my own clothes.
“Alcohol quickly took hold. I needed it. It was more important than you,” she says, her voice breaking. “And I hate your dad and myself for that.”
“Mum.” I get up and sit on the arm of her chair. She lays her head against my side and cries.
“You’re my little girl.”
That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be.
I bow my head and cry with her, my heart shattering.
Forty
Spencer
Three days until Christmas, and Indie has turned into Elf. It’s quite a change to when I first arrived. After the sickness incident, there were moments when she was with me but her mind was clearly elsewhere. I asked. She used the tired and stressed over uni excuse she’s so fond of.
After Christmas, I’ll be asking more direct questions about her parents.
We have group date number two with her friends, wreath making. What have I turned into?
There were an initial few minutes where a couple of people in the class recognised me. They seemed satisfied to leave us in peace after a quick selfie. It took Indie about ten minutes to switch back to her usual flirty self with me. She’s not jealous or annoyed, just worried that they will see us together.
For the most part, though, being home is chilled. People in town know me and don’t really care what I do for a living. I forgot how much I like being able to go out like a regular person. I mean, I love all the screaming and free stuff, too.
Brody and Wren are sitting opposite Indie and me.
Indie’s arm is pressed against mine and it reminds me of waking up beside her. I feel her warm skin on a morning and know she’s there before I open my eyes.
Mila is scowling at the end of the table.
“If you just tone down your personality, I’m sure you’ll find someone soon,” I tease.
Indie nudges me. She knows that Mila and I have talked. She doesn’t know how often. I like Mila. She gives as good as she gets, and she loves Indie.
Mila’s death glare finds me. “Well, movie star, if you would just agree to introduce me to Ethan, maybe I wouldn’t be here alone. I would be living it up on one of LA’s beautiful beaches.”
“Introduce her,” Indie says. “She’s made for that life.”
Mila points to Indie. “See!”
“This is fucking pointless!” Brody snaps. His wreath is a mess of twigs and holly. “Whose idea was this?”
Mila grins. “Mine.”
“It’s not that bad,” Wren tells him. “We’ll just tell everyone a small child made it for you.”
I don’t hear his reply because he growls it under his breath. Whatever he said, it makes Wren laugh, and he shakes his head, failing to hide a smile. He leans over and kisses her neck, making her squeal.
Indie, Mila, and Wren have been taking it very seriously, threading ivy and holly around the circle and adding pinecones and fucking glitter.
Mine is full of autumn leaves. I think Brody and I would have rather waited in the pub nearby for them.
“Are you even trying?” she teases me, biting her lip and giving her take me now eyes.
I lean over and whisper in her ear, “No, I’m still thinking about this morning and what I want to do to you later.”
Her cheeks turn pink at the thought of my head between her legs in the shower earlier. She tried very hard to be quiet because my parents were home. I don’t think she was very successful.
“If you finish the wreath, we’ll reverse it tomorrow morning.”
My dick hardens in my jeans at the thought of her hot, wet mouth around my cock.
I gulp and turn my focus back to the wreath. I’m going to make it look like the woman holding the class has made it.
Mila smirks. “You’re suddenly taking a keen interest in this.”
Indie laughs to herself.
“We have fifteen minutes left. I thought I’d make the most of it.”
Brody chuckles. “Oh, come on. He’s on a promise. Right, Indie?”
Wren wiggles her eyebrows, but Indie shakes her head, averting her eyes. I wonder if she would
