I've had bouts of drug abuse and alcoholism over the course of my life. I'm sober now and have been for some time. If that seems like an odd statement to throw out of nowhere, don't worry it kind of is. Sobriety tends to make one more open and honest, from my personal experience.
When I was a younger, I enjoyed making lists of my favorite things, I enjoyed organizing creatively, and I enjoyed the rush of reading over something I'd created. Looking back on it now it's always been obvious that writing is what I should be doing, but I'm stubborn and tended to make unwise decisions more often than wise ones. So, it was then that I didn't truly realize this is what I should be doing until I was almost thirty, and even then I didn't take it as seriously as I should have at first.
Before I fully set my mind to writing novels, I worked in the restaurant industry, and climbed the ladder up to a General Manager position. I had a full career set before me, but I wasn't happy. I've always had anxiety, but I think the high stress of that kind of job coupled with being in a near constant state of unhappiness lead to my developing Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It's not pleasant, and at times it completely ruins my day, but I try to remember that everyone has issues to deal with. This is just one of mine, and I'll make it through.
I quit my career as a manager and decided to dedicate the majority of my time to creative avenues. Back in that time I was creating a web series, which ended up failing. After that I started a podcast with a friend that picked up a little traction. We were able to turn that into a TV show on the local station. During this time I was also writing my first novel.
While I was exploring these avenues I worked part time jobs to keep the bills paid. It was during this time that my mom passed away. She and I were very close. She was my best friend, my hero, and my role model. The loss of her hurt me deeply, and if I'm being entirely honest it's still difficult to talk about to this day. Her passing left a lasting impact on me. Not only did it remind me that life is short, and nothing is guaranteed, but it also made me realize how much time I had wasted. I just kept thinking that if I continued to not give myself fully over to what has been pulling at the back of mind that I was failing her. She gave me life and along with it the opportunity to do something meaningful with that life.
My mom was a very independent person. She was strong-willed, bold, brave, caring, nurturing, supportive, and understanding. I know she would be proud of me for anything that I accomplished in life, no matter how big or small, but I felt the need to excel. I have been given breathe and cognizance. Why aren't I fully utilizing this gift that is life? So, I hunkered down and I did that. With actual real purpose and drive, something I had always found myself to be lacking.
It's not been easy to dedicate time to writing. There are days when I do not want to do it all. There are times that I spend twenty minutes writing. I don't really think that matters. I think what does matter is that you have a conversation with yourself and realize that you will get out what you put in. Not everyone has the time to write for six hours a day, or the wiring to operate in that manner. What matters is that you dedicate yourself in full in the ways that you are able to.
For me, I do writing related activities at least five days a week. Generally, I take the weekends off to rest and reset myself mentally. There are times when I work six or seven days a week on a project, but usually it is five. Whether that is conceptualizing the project, outlining, researching, writing the book or short story, editing, or an aspect of the publishing process. I dedicate however much time is needed, or work until I feel satisfied with the progress of that day.
I don't set a certain amount of time to spend working on writing or the process of creating a novel. When I am in the writing stage, I do set a daily goal of at least one thousand words a day. My average is around fifteen hundred, and it's not uncommon for me to write more than two thousand. There are times when I write less than a thousand, and I think it's important not to beat yourself up if you don't meet your daily goal at times. Things happen, that's life. What's important is that you stay focused and dedicated. Time off isn't a bad thing. If you feel burned out and think that a week off will help you, then by all means take that week off.
For me, the most important thing to remember has been that everyone finds their own way. There is no proper path set up for any of us. We do what we can. We just have to make sure that includes doing all that we can. This turned out longer that I had initially planned, but I feel like I needed to say all of this. Maybe it will help someone. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my story. I put a lot of myself into this
