“Yeah, well, I don’t like cats,” Thomas muttered.
Inola giggled. “They sure love you. It’s probably because you usually smell like food.” She looked to Gabriel and me. “I am going into town to pick up some more pet supplies and groceries. Need anything?”
“No, thank you,” I replied.
“Some more blood bags, if you don’t mind going by the blood bank,” Gabriel said casually. “Kara is going to need a complete blood transfusion, but we will go tomorrow. I would like to give her a day to enjoy her pets, but I need the blood now.”
Thomas looked confused and opened his mouth to speak, but Inola elbowed him in the ribs.
“I don’t mind at all,” Inola said.
“Thanks.”
“Why does she need a transfusion?” Thomas asked anyway.
“I’ll tell you two later, Thomas,” Gabriel said in a way that ended the discussion immediately.
The pet sitter had actually brought my fish as well, and it was a good thing Gabriel had a fish tank in the living room. After I fed all of my babies, I sat down on the floor with Panini and Dandelion in my lap.
Gabriel watched me cuddle with them, a soft fondness in his eyes.
“Not tired anymore?” he asked me.
I nuzzled Panini. “Not really. My animals have always been revitalizing to me.”
He chuckled. “I am glad. It’s nice to see you this way.”
I pulled a wad of Everest’s hair off of my shirt. “What way? Looking like I just spent the night in a kennel?”
“Seeing you happy.”
His words made glowing warmth spread throughout my body, but all too soon, the warmth faded.
“I wonder if Candice thinks I took off again. I wonder if she’s worried,” I said.
“I can always have someone from Violet Memory stop by her shop and Control her to not be concerned,” Gabriel said.
I shook my head. “That’s all right. She already thinks I took off once, so she probably isn’t surprised I’m gone again. I wonder if Lila or Miles . . .”
I stopped myself. They were from a part of my life I could never return to. For their own safety, I had to accept that.
I kissed Dandelion’s nose to hide my face from Gabriel, but I still felt his gaze on me. I knew he was worried, but I also knew he was watching for when I could feel him again. Gabriel could read me well enough to know; he had known when I’d stared at the painting of Lucy.
I knew he also couldn’t stand the idea of me having such an intimate connection with his worst enemy, and I was surprised he was letting me have this day with my animals instead of severing the connection as quickly as possible. But I knew Gabriel was worried about upsetting me; he had said I’d felt unstable and broken on the inside. Maybe my animals would lift my spirits enough to heal a small part of me.
The rest of the day went well. My animals helped my mood tremendously, but when evening came, I walked out of the bathroom to find Gabriel gone from the bedroom.
Unreasonably, I started to panic. I knew he hadn’t left, but it was almost as if Gabriel was the only thing connecting me to sanity, and I needed him more than I ever had before.
I ran out of the bedroom, shoving past Inola in the hallway. Thomas grabbed my waist before I could fully enter the kitchen, but it was too late.
It was then I found out that it wasn’t just my blood that bothered me, but blood in general.
Gabriel was in front of the refrigerator drinking from a blood bag. The sight of the liquid staining his lips made me start shaking, and I dry heaved a little.
Gabriel looked up in surprise as Thomas whirled me away.
“He didn’t want you to see that,” Thomas said as he sat me down on the couch in the living room.
I was frozen. I couldn’t think. Couldn’t do anything. All I could see was blood running down wooden walls. Silver eyes gleamed at me in the dark.
Thomas held my wrists in his hands. “You came running out of that room like it was on fire. Gabriel would never leave you, Red. You know that, don’t you?”
His words didn’t fully register in my mind. The pressure around my wrists, just like iron manacles, stole the majority of my focus. I shook so hard the walls quivered.
“Red? Hey, snap out of it. No one here is going to hurt you.”
Cold air whipped around me, and the scent of pine needles drifted into my nostrils. I was too dizzy and sick to truly see my surroundings, but soon I felt familiar silk sheets beneath me once again.
“Kara, look at me. I thought I had time to do that while you got ready for bed. It’s over, and I am here now.”
I was trying to reach him. I was there with him, but only halfway. My eyes burned.
“She needs to let it out. It needs to run its course. It will not heal her completely, but it will help.”
“Inola—”
“Trust me. I have been where she is, after I lost my first husband and son.”
“How can I help her?”
“Just keep doing what you are doing, but don’t encourage her to hold it in.”
I thought a door clicked shut.
Gabriel was stroking my face, my arms, my sides. I was aware enough to see how worried he looked. My heart broke for him, but the waves of panic and fear far outweighed my concern for him.
“You know, since I got you back, you have not shed a single tear. You used to cry so much, and I know you hated it, and I know you thought you were weak because of it, but you were so sad, scared, and angry. It was a completely appropriate response. Maybe if you cry, you will feel better. Let out some of the poison inside of you, heart.”
He was right. For once, I wanted to cry. I truly
