His gaze froze me. There were so many emotions in his eyes, but the relief I saw was the most prominent.
But the relief quickly turned to fear again. His hand cradled my face. “Are you still with me?” he whispered carefully.
I nodded. “I’m here.”
His head dropped to my uninjured shoulder. His body quivered violently as he held me against him.
“I was beginning to think I had lost you forever. It has been three days since I brought you back from the hospital. Nothing could make you move or speak. I tried everything. I talked to you. I played music for you. I even tried to Control you. I didn’t want to drink your blood without your permission, but I started to panic, and I thought I might be able to reach you that way. . . .”
I ran my fingers through his midnight hair. An IV was taped to my hand, and my eyes followed the tube to the bag of clear liquid hanging beside the bed.
My heart hurt at the thought of Gabriel trying to reach me while I was inside that strange, distorted place where time didn’t exist.
“It’s ok,” I told him honestly. “I’m glad you did what you did. I’m sorry it took so long for me to come back.”
His body stiffened. “Kara,” he said, his voice coarse and filled with agony. “I beg of you, do not apologize to me about any—”
“You’re not going to start that,” I interrupted.
He looked up at me with piercing eyes. I fought against their hypnotic gaze and stood my ground.
“I don’t want to hear about whose fault this is. Your fault, my fault, none of it. Because no matter the argument, you will always make it out to be your fault. And I don’t care anymore if it is, ok? I don’t want you blaming yourself.” I softened my voice. “Haven’t you suffered enough? Gabriel, I know how much you love me. I never would have believed it had the blood connection not existed, but it did exist between us, so I know. I cannot imagine what you have suffered while I was missing. I try to think about our places being reversed, and it hurts so badly that I cannot even comprehend it. So just please, for once in your life, forgive yourself.”
The emeralds darkened. “How can I forgive myself when you have not even forgiven me completely?”
“Who says I haven’t? Being tortured puts certain things into perspective.”
His head tilted to the side, his gaze haunted.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I say stupid things.”
He smiled slightly. “Say all the stupid things you want. At least that means you’re talking again.”
I touched his mouth. “That’s what I want to see. Your smile.”
He shivered at my touch, and his eyes dropped to my lips. I knew he wanted to kiss me as bad as I wanted to kiss him. I also knew we would not be able to stop once we started and that we needed to get all of the questions out of the way.
“Where are we?” I wondered.
His eyes never left my lips. “A safe place no one knows about. My home away from home, I suppose you could call it. This is where I usually came all of the times I was away from Violet Memory’s mansion. We are in Canada.”
“I’ve never been out of the United States before.”
He leaned closer to me. His scent made my heart flutter, and his eyes went to my chest, registering that he had heard. He was dangerously close to my mouth now.
I said the word I didn’t want to say. “Emma?” I questioned quietly.
The mood took on a darker edge. He moved away from me, the malice in his eyes pure poison.
“I killed both her and Felicity.”
I looked down, trying to keep my face blank. A part of me had already known the answer.
Gabriel was a vampire; I could not keep expecting human actions from him. I knew how much of a temper he had. I had felt how much hatred he was capable of. I wasn’t sure what to say, and I wondered if it was wrong of me to be happy that she was gone.
“I don’t know what to say,” I confessed. “I know you and Emma had history. I know you cared about her well-being. I’m—”
“Don’t you apologize,” he nearly hissed. “If I cannot apologize for what is rightfully my fault, then don’t you dare apologize for that woman’s demise. She deserved worse than what she got.”
I nodded, running my fingers along my bandaged shoulder. The pain was mild, and I recognized the familiar warmth of the pain medication inside my body. When I’d had my tonsils taken out as a child, they had prescribed me something that had felt similar to this.
“Are you in pain?” Gabriel asked so gently it was hard to hear him. “I’ve been administering pain medicine to you daily.”
“I’m fine,” I told him. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
His eyes took on that haunted look again. “Can I get you anything? You should probably eat something. I am sorry I didn’t ask sooner. You finally being aware is overwhelming to me, and I am not thinking clearly.”
“I think I can manage to eat something.”
He looked relived. “I’ll let Thomas know.”
“Thomas and Inola are here?” I asked quickly.
“Of course.”
The door on the far side of the room opened. “Yes, we’re here. Sorry for eavesdropping, but we heard Red talking and couldn’t help ourselves,” Thomas said.
I was hardly aware of unhooking myself from the IV and even getting up, but I knew the exact moment Gabriel’s arms slipped away from around me. I ran to Thomas and collided into him.
“Hey, Red. I missed you, too,” Thomas said, his voice serious for once as he patted my back.
I heard a familiar chuckle from behind him, and I reached for Inola’s cold body, grabbing her arm and pulling her
