I may have to kill one of my own…and very soon.
Four
Catalina
After our performance, we all went out on the town, hitting up a bar and ordering rounds of drinks. I didn’t text Heath because I didn’t want to be one of those women who needed her man at her side every moment of the day.
But I definitely wasn’t having fun.
Nights like these were the kind I used to live for, to let my hair down and have a good time. But now I saw my friends flirt with guys, get free drinks, and knew their nights would never end up the way mine did.
With a man like Heath.
Sometimes guys hit on me, bought me a drink, but I was quick to tell them I was seeing someone.
And I wasn’t interested anyway.
Men I once found attractive were now repulsive. I couldn’t believe the guys I’d already slept with; they looked like boys in comparison. Now I sat there alone, my friends involved with their guys, so I was forgotten.
I sipped my cosmo, debating whether I should throw in the towel and go home.
Bars seemed pointless when I wasn’t single.
A guy came to my table, a good-looking guy who probably would have scored my phone number if I weren’t already seeing someone. He didn’t buy me a drink, but he sat beside me and made conversation. “Are you unavailable? I can’t imagine any other reason for you to be sitting here alone.”
“You guessed right.” I drank from my glass, bored out of my mind.
“Well, he’s not here, right?” He gave me a playful smile.
Heath and I weren’t in a typical romantic relationship, but we were physically committed to each other, and the idea of being with someone else, even if I could get away with it, disgusted me. It felt so wrong, so bad, that it made me physically sick. I raised my hand and gave a flick of my wrist. “I’m not interested.”
“Oh, come on.” He relaxed in the chair. “I’m just trying to break the ice.”
“If you don’t leave, I’ll break your face.” I stared him down so he knew I wasn’t joking.
He rolled his eyes and vacated the chair. “Nice talking to you…”
My phone lit up with a message. Where are you?
My heartbeat immediately quickened when I saw his name on my screen, heard his deep voice in my head. Instead of being defiant, I gave a straight answer. At a bar with the girls.
A lot of guys must be buying you drinks.
Unfortunately.
I’ll join you.
Even if he was here, I still didn’t want to sit there, surrounded by people who had no idea what we had. No. I’m gonna leave.
Because you really hate being seen with me that much?
Reading the text hurt because it was so inaccurate. No. Because I’ve been miserable this entire time…because you aren’t here.
I walked in the door and spotted him on the couch, already stripped down to his boxers. The TV was on, but his eyes immediately left the screen once I walked inside. He grabbed the remote and hit the button without looking at it before he rose to his feet.
I looked him up and down, having no idea how I’d ever picked up a guy at the bar in the first place. Why would I go out when this man was waiting for me? I tossed my clutch aside as he came closer to me.
He stopped in front of me and looked into my face. “Have a good time?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think I can go out with them anymore…”
He stared at me as he waited for an answer.
“There’s just nothing for me to do. They hook up with guys they meet, and I just sit there…bored out of my mind. What’s the point in going out with them when I would rather be home with you?”
He smiled slightly, one hand moving to my cheek.
My fingers wrapped around his wrist. “I’m not sure if I could ever go back to that…not after you.” I didn’t know why I said that, why I admitted my deepest thoughts to this man who was only a temporary figure in my life.
His eyes focused harder on my face, hanging on every word I said. “Then don’t.” His hand moved to the back of my head as he cradled it and leaned down and kissed me. His other arm wrapped around my waist, and he gripped me tightly, touching me in a way no other man had ever done. He squeezed me, suffocated me.
I melted instantly, my arms wrapping around his neck.
His hand lifted my dress until he gripped the back of my thong. He pulled it down over my ass to my thighs and let it fall the rest of the way on its own. Then he picked me up and pinned me against the wall, my legs wrapped around his waist. With his face pressed to mine, he lowered his boxers and shoved himself inside me, sinking deep.
I breathed against his mouth and moaned, my dress hiked to my waist and my ankles locked together with my heels digging into his ass. I loved the way he lifted me effortlessly, the way he slipped inside me without preamble because he didn’t need to pause to get a condom on his dick. This man was all mine, and I was all his.
I thought about what that man had said at the bar, that Heath wasn’t there to know what I did. I could get away with anything. But I could honestly say there wasn’t a single man I wanted more than the man inside me right now.
No one.
He lay beside me in bed, naked because the sheets were kicked away. He was over six feet of perfection, his dick still defined even when it was soft. Tattoos marked his fair skin, depicting shadows and demons that accompanied him wherever he went. There was also a skull on his abdomen.
It matched the one
