“You want to go?”
“No.” I wasn’t gonna walk out just because he was there. I’d rather take my chances. “Let’s go.” We moved down the aisle and took our seats near the front, squished in the small chairs that weren’t made for men our size.
Balto looked bored, like he’d rather be at home with Cassini. “This must be getting serious, then?”
I shrugged. “Might be.”
“Then are you going to tell her about your attempted manslaughter?” He turned to look at me.
I stared at the program even though I wasn’t really looking at it. The situation with her father hadn’t been on my mind because I refused to think about it. I should probably tell her, but that happened before I knew her, so I also felt like it was unfair. “I don’t know.”
“She’ll find out at some point, right?”
I shrugged again. “I’ll deal with it later. But for now, I’m just going to enjoy it.” The lights were lowered, and the curtain began to open.
Balto continued to stare at me in the darkness, his blue eyes piercing into my face even as the music began.
When the performance was over, Balto left and I headed backstage. Now that the girls knew exactly who I was, they didn’t hesitate to let me inside to see my girl. I moved through the cast members as they undressed and wiped off their makeup, all moving around the dressing area, congratulating one another.
I saw Catalina sitting at her vanity, pulling all the pins out of her hair so she could get that bun loose and let her long hair fall around her shoulders. Her fingers dug into her scalp and massaged her skull as she closed her eyes and enjoyed it, like that tight bun was uncomfortable throughout the entire performance.
Mesmerized by her actions, I just stared, picturing her doing the same thing in my shower, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted.
I came up behind her, watching her expression in the mirror.
When she opened her eyes, she noticed me behind her. Instead of giving me a soft smile and looking at me with an affectionate gaze, she looked panicked. She rose from the bench and immediately turned to me. “My family is here. You’ve got to go.”
“I know. I saw them.”
Her eyes widened. “Then why are you here?”
“Because I’m gonna kiss my baby and congratulate her.” My arm wrapped around her waist, and I kissed her. Once our lips touched, she relaxed, stopped thinking about the possibility of her family catching us together. My hand moved into her loose hair, and I gently rubbed her head, knowing it would make her feel better. The only reason I pulled away was because I had to, because we didn’t have the time to make that kiss last.
Her affection immediately died away as she looked past me. “They just walked in. You’ve got to go. What if they see you?”
I shrugged. “I don’t care.”
“Well, I do care.” She pressed her palm against my chest. “Please leave.” She glanced at them again, her panic worsening. “Now.”
“Alright.” I brought her wrist to my lips and kissed her before I moved back. “I’ll meet you at the car.”
“They’re probably going to take me to dinner.”
I stopped and turned back to her. “Then I’ll meet you at your apartment.” I stepped away and walked to the other side of the room, finding cover from a clothes rack on wheels. I didn’t have a second longer to linger because they appeared.
Anna hugged her first. “Oh my god, you were so beautiful.”
“Thank you.” When Catalina pulled away, she forced a smile on her lips, her eyes still giving away her unease if anyone was paying attention. “And thank you for coming.”
Damien moved in next, giving her a one-armed hug before he pulled away. “You were great.”
“Thanks…”
Her father brought up the rear, holding an arrangement of sunflowers. “Sweetheart, I’m so proud of you.” He stared at her like she was his entire world, like the love in his heart couldn’t stay inside his chest. “It doesn’t matter how many times I watch you, I just can’t believe how talented you are.”
All the stress disappeared from her voice when she looked at her father. “Thank you, Daddy…”
He gave her the flowers. “Summer is almost over, but I managed to find these.”
She took the arrangement from his hands and brought it to her nose so she could smell them. Then her eyes softened in a new way, like the gesture was particularly evocative to her, like it really meant something. “Thank you so much…” She set them in the empty vase on her vanity. When she turned back to him, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, closing her eyes.
He hugged her back, cradling her like she was still the little girl he remembered.
Her father adored her, brought her flowers.
I never brought her flowers.
When she pulled away, her eyes were a little wetter than before, like she knew the moment would be a memory that she would hold on to when he was gone. “You guys want to take me out to dinner?”
“Yes,” her father said. “And you’re going to get a nice tiramisu—and eat it all.”
The joy I felt from kissing her was long gone. Now I felt pain, unbearable agony. I’d made a mistake I could never take back, did something unforgivable. Seeing how close she was to her father shattered all my hopes.
She would never forgive me for what I did. We couldn’t work past it. Time wouldn’t heal the wound.
Once she knew, she would leave me.
And never come back.
My clothes were on her bedroom floor, and I lay against her headboard in my boxers. The blinds to her window were open, so I stared at the buildings across the street, one hand behind my head as I replayed their interaction over and over in my head.
If only I could go back in time.
The locks to the front door clicked open, and Catalina stepped inside.
I
