After graduation I got a job at a coal company in the city. I was just a regular salaried employee, but I eventually got married and lived a decent life. My in-laws held somewhat high positions in the coal industry. My father-in-law was head of the Coal Equipment Import and Export Department, and my mother-in-law was in charge of the communal dining hall for one of the largest coal mines. We didn’t have to worry about the basic necessities of life.
My in-laws let my husband and me enjoy our lives freely. We ate and bought whatever we wanted; we would just tell my mother-in-law how much it cost and she would pay for everything.
I thought that I would be able to enjoy this comfort for the rest of my life, but unfortunately it came to an end.
After my husband and I had lived together for three years, it was time for us to have children. Our parents wanted grandchildren to hold in their arms. In our fourth year together I got pregnant, which made everyone happy. Time went by slowly as I waited eagerly for my first child to be born. But before the end of the seventh month I suffered a painful miscarriage. I screamed and fainted when I saw the grotesque fetus covered in blood; not a human exactly, but not quite an animal either. My mother-in-law seemed even more horrified than I was. But she was able to stay calm. She held me in her arms and comforted me. “You can do nothing about it if Heaven doesn’t let you have it. You’ll have other chances. You and your husband are still young, so don’t worry.”
It happened again when I got pregnant the second time. I knew that my husband and in-laws were upset, but they still took good care of me.
But when I had a miscarriage the third time and the fetus came out flabby, as if it were just made of water, my mother-in-law started to scream and berate me.
“You have bad karma! Your parents must live a dirty, immoral life! You were only born to haunt and ruin my family. I want you to leave my son alone and move out immediately!”
“Why are you saying that about my parents? I can’t have children because of my unlucky fate, that’s all. It has nothing to do with my parents.”
“How dare you talk back to me! Get out of here now!”
Listening to my mother-in-law’s cruel words, I wanted to prove that it wasn’t my fault, or that of my parents either. But what had happened was the evidence that I could not refute. I decided to stay quiet and swallow my resentment. But my husband, who had always loved and pampered me, started acting cold. He even brought home girls and had casual sex with them right in the bed that only he and I had shared. I requested a divorce. His family agreed immediately.
The day I left them was also the day I quit my job at the coal company. If I had stayed at the company, I would have had to face my unfaithful husband on a daily basis, and that wouldn’t have allowed me to concentrate on anything.
Because for years I had been so occupied with my work and with the comfort and happiness of being the daughter-in-law of a wealthy family, I’d forgotten about my hometown, the place where my umbilical cord was buried and where my parents were longing for me to come visit. Before, my husband and I had driven a luxury car to visit them only once a year.
I came back to live with my parents, carrying with me the bitterness of my mother-in-law’s false accusation. I was myself again, a typical rural woman. Dai, my first love, was still living there, and now I had to face him every day. At first I wanted to avoid him, but I didn’t know how. I lived for myself and for today without thinking too much about the past because it would just cause trouble. But I wasn’t sure why with each day that went by, I cared for Dai more and more.
After he finished university, Dai had been offered a job with a high salary and opportunities for promotion at a well-known construction company in the city. But he had declined the offer and requested instead to be a low-ranking state employee in our hometown. He eventually became the vice-chairman of the district.
Dai’s life had remained the same over the years. He lived a simple and humble life, focused mostly on work. I loved him primarily for this reason. Because my love for him hadn’t turned out as I had expected, I now had even more compassion for him. As the days went by, I never stopped caring for him.
But Dai acted very cold toward me. Whenever I came to see him, he was always cranky and tried to decline my help. But I didn’t care. I still came to see him. I did whatever I could to help him, even if he scolded me and told me to leave him alone.
After moving back to my hometown to live with my parents, I eventually learned the reason Dai had rejected my love after his severe illness years ago. When we were growing up, Dai had been a handsome young man, with rosy skin and strong muscles. But suddenly, around the time we entered university, his skin started turning pale and his muscles became withered. After undergoing several medical exams, he was informed that
