Paddy smiled when Cillian started to dial a number from a piece of paper in his wallet, and he patted his friend on the back of his hand.
‘Proud of you, mate, you’re doing the right thing.’
Cillian smiled back, and made all the right noises, but as he waited for the call to connect, he knew the only thing he felt was crushing disappointment, and the weight of the world on his tired and aching shoulders. He felt like he was betraying Tina once more, but it was down to her. The pressure and isolation of motherhood had turned her to drink, and away from him and their small daughter. When she’d left Orla alone, that had been the final straw.
He’d thought so at the time. Till now. Now, he was going to use the law to protect a daughter from her mother and protect their family from going under altogether. He was finally going to listen to those around him. He just hoped that Orla would understand when she was older. If he lost her anyway, that would kill him.
Chapter 6
Cillian left the pub in search of mints and a little bag of sweets for Orla. He’d only had two pints of shandy, but he still felt like he had been dipped in a brewery. Like the nursery staff would smell it on him and whisk Orla away to some rosy-cheeked Walton family. He had these irrational thoughts daily. He knew why, and the earlier conversation with Tina hadn’t helped any. He could feel his fists clench at his sides, as he thought of Tina being in Orla’s life again. It made him feel sick to his stomach, so sick and helpless that he wanted to scoop up his daughter and run away forever.
The fact was, men walked away from children all the time. It was part of life, seemingly. Cillian’s own dad hadn’t been much cop, and he didn’t even know where the old fella was now. His mum was happy back in Ireland, busy with his sister’s kids, loving life. He’d thought about going home, but Lizard Point felt more like home now, and Orla had always lived here. Besides, he didn’t put it past Tina to have him arrested at the airport the minute he tried.
Heading out of the little corner shop, he waved at Sue, the shopkeeper, and she waved back jovially, her tight curls not moving on her head as she went about her business. Everything was packed up at the flat, their worldly belongings amounting to a toy box and a few boxes and bags. All of which were now sitting in the back of the van. The flat had looked so forlorn and empty. The stark reality of their situation wasn’t lost on him.
Tina still lived in their old flat, but even with his key, he wouldn’t go back there again. Not a chance. It wasn’t his home anymore, and it definitely wasn’t Orla’s. He drove near there a few weeks ago, and Orla had tried to take off her seatbelt to hide in the footwell. Cillian had ended up having to pull over and sit with her in his arms until she stopped crying, and the shaking stopped. That’s why he could never forgive Tina. She didn’t see just what damage she had caused, and now she was calling again, demanding money, to see her daughter. For what end, he had no idea but he wasn’t interested.
All he wanted now was to protect his child and give her the home that she’d almost had and needed badly. Tina could come at him with whatever she had, but Orla would never relive a time like that again. Fifteen minutes later, when he pulled the van into the nursery car park, the promise rang in his head like bells as he saw who was at the nursery gates.
Clicking a button on his car phone kit, he waited till Paddy answered.
‘She’s here, Pad. School gates.’
Paddy took a beat to answer. ‘They know not to entertain her, right?’
Cillian nodded.
‘Cill?’
‘Sorry, yeah they know everything. They have her photo in the office.’ He wiped his palms down his trousers distractedly.’
‘Right, mate, so you’re covered. Stay calm and get our little girl. If you have to wait or you need a lift, ring me.’
‘Thanks, mate, ring you when we’re home.’
‘Home already, is it? Good, get there in one piece then, eh? Keys in hand, mate, phone stuck to my arse. K?’
‘K,’ Cillian repeated, hanging up. Taking a deep breath, he reached for the van door handle.
***
The chalet next to April’s was looking great. She’d been scrubbing every available surface inside, making sure that the huge pile of bedding had been freshly washed and put on the beds. It was a beautiful chalet now, if a little bare. In the other chalets, which she was going through slowly, there was scope to add some personal touches to the rooms, but she didn’t want to intrude too much in this one, given who was going to be staying there.
She had cut some wild flowers from the large patch she had on her land, and they looked lovely in one of her vases from home. In truth, it was a rather expensive cut crystal vase that she had received as a wedding present, but she had no need or want for it to be in her new home. She just hadn’t wanted to leave it for Duncan to enjoy. He loved it, and it was one of the little victories that she took solace in. When she thought of that vase, or saw it, she would remember that tiny win. The vase looked beautiful here, the vibrancy of the flowers lit up by the light streaming through the window. It shone through the glass, painting pretty patterns across the living space. Without the taint of where it came from, the vase actually looked at home here, and it made April smile.
Walking through the chalet, she looked around
