‘Come on then, darling,’ Cillian declared sarcastically, opening the passenger-side door and leaving the ticket on show on the dashboard. ‘I got two hours. I figured we could have a little walk around too, grab some lunch to take back.’
‘That sounds nice,’ April agreed. He shrugged, dull and lifeless again to her. It was like a switch flipped in him. He only turned it on when he was forced to talk to her.
‘Yeah, well we have a lot on. Better to stay fed.’ He ruffled his hand through his hair and watched her try and fail to climb over the car seat and out of the van. She was almost there when he swooped in and pulled her out, setting her to her feet just in front of him.
‘Thanks,’ she breathed, trying to keep her lumps and bumps covered. He barely even nodded at her, but his hands were still wrapped around her arms. She brushed him off, angry now. ‘For God’s sake, Cillian, I don’t know what I did to annoy you, but I can’t cope with your mood swings on top of my own. What did I do?’ They were standing in Lizard Point car park, toe to toe in more ways than one. ‘I get you and Martha think I’m some hapless weirdo, but I don’t deserve to be treated differently from one day to the next. Just what’s your problem?’
‘I-I …’ he groaned. ‘Just forget it. I was in a mood this morning. It’s nothing.’
‘It’s not nothing, and it’s not just this morning. It was after the night I hurt my head. That night was a good night. Today, I feel like I woke up with a stranger on that couch.’
‘You didn’t wake up with me,’ he spat. ‘You left before I woke up.’
‘Yes, exactly!’ She prodded him in the chest with a stern finger. ‘I left bef …’
His feet shifted from side to side, and he let go of her arms.
‘That’s it, isn’t it? Because I left?’
He went to leave, walking halfway across the car park before turning on his heel and striding back. She was just getting ready to roll up her sleeves and deck the moody git when he took her into his arms and kissed her. Hard. April, having been taken by surprise with her arms-folded, foot-tapping stance, couldn’t move as he held her tight, kissing her with everything that he had. She opened her mouth. Not to protest, but to kiss him back properly. He felt rough to the touch, his bristle scraping deliciously against her cheek. She was just trying to get her arms loose so that she could run them through his hair, and he stopped, breaking the kiss. They both looked at each other, breathing hard.
Don’t stop. Even the voice in her head was breathless. ‘You didn’t like it, waking up on your own.’
Cillian wiped at his mouth with his thumb, a smear of her lip gloss streaking his skin. Her own lips felt like they were on fire. After a moment, he shook his head.
‘I’m sorry. I got woken up, and I didn’t want Orla to be disrupted, so I went. Is that what all this morning was about? With Martha too?’
Another slow headshake. No, so Martha didn’t tell him she saw me. Fair play, Martha. Way to watch a girl’s back. We’re even on the bogey drawing.
‘So you kissed me because you were mad?’
Yet another headshake. He’d put his hands in his pockets now, and was trying to stare a hole in the asphalt beneath them.
‘Give me something, Cill. I don’t get it.’
A bloke in a blue Audi drove around the side of the van, tooting when they found that Cillian was standing in the empty space he wanted. He glared at the man till he wilted behind his steering wheel, then linked arms with April.
‘Come on, let’s get this over with. We have a lot on. Ready?’ She waited for him to look at her again before she said anything. She wanted to see what was behind those green eyes. When he eventually looked at her, he slowed down and pulled her into a card shop doorway. She went with him, getting used to the feel of his hand in hers, the feeling of him around her. She wondered if the jolt she felt would always be there. It took her by surprise every time.
‘I got mad when I woke up and you weren’t there. Brought up a bad memory I suppose.’
‘I can relate,’ she said honestly. ‘Back home, I never really saw Duncan. I felt like a widow half the time, chasing a ghost.’ She reached up and touched his face, her thumb rubbing off a slick of lip gloss from his scruff. He closed his eyes when her skin touched his, and she felt it too. The connection between two people who were ultimately lost, fumbling in the dark and finding another lost soul to provide comfort. ‘What is this?’ she asked him, curiosity overpowering her need for self-preservation. In a world of labels, she felt adrift once more.
He shook his head, moving closer till his forehead touched hers.
‘I need actual words, Grunty,’ she chided. Something devilish flashed in his eyes.
‘Great kiss. That’s two.’ He waggled his eyebrows at her, laughing when he made her chortle out loud. ‘I don’t know, April. I just … don’t know. Do we have to know, right now?’ He was being friendly and chilled
