‘Let’s go to the beach,’ he said, leading the way.
‘Orla?’ she checked, looking back at the chalet.
He took her in his arms and she felt her body relax as it came into contact with his. She’d missed him, body and soul. Arguing with him earlier had been horrific, and he obviously wasn’t going to go there again. Neither did she though, that was the problem.
‘She’s sleeping at Paddy’s. She used to go before. First time she’d asked in a while. Paddy flew round here to pick her up.’ He turned her chin with his hand till he was focused on her, on them once more. ‘You worry about being around Orla, but you love each other already. You thought of her first then. How can that be a bad thing?’
She knew what he was saying, but she still couldn’t shake the feeling that it could all go so very wrong. They walked down to the beach together, each lost in their own thoughts, till they reached the shoreline. Taking off her sandals, she dipped her toes in the water, Cillian joining her.
‘So, what were you going to do tonight?’ she asked him after a while, his hands reaching for hers as they stood at the water’s edge. He turned to her, brushing the hair back from her face with one hand, and putting her letter into his back pocket.
‘Well, I had a bit of laundry to do, and the book I’m reading is quite good.’ He moved closer, kissing her with everything he had left to show her. ‘Also, I’m sweet on the woman who lives next door, and I missed seeing her in my house.’
‘Oh really,’ she exclaimed. ‘Cute, is she?’
‘Yep.’ He ran his stubble slowly along the length of her jawline, making her shiver. ‘She’s also very stubborn.’ He leaned in close to her ear, nibbling it lightly. ‘She’s insanely fecking hot too.’
They walked the beach that night, strolling and talking. The whole world went on without them, and they were happy to be together, away from it all. By the time they unlocked Cillian’s door, both of them not even considering being anywhere else, they were together. When they were half asleep that night, much much later that night, in each other’s arms, Cillian laughed in the darkness.
April, half asleep and pretty sure she had been about to drool and dribble on his muscular forearm, stiffened.
‘Laughing after what we just did might be considered bad form in some parts you know.’
He laughed again, and she reached for something to tweak.
‘Arggh,’ he said, dodging her nippy fingers and wrapping his whole body over hers, pinning her there. ‘That’s enough. I’m not laughing at that. I’m just glad my night off involved more than washing my smalls.’ He kissed her again, and she kissed him right back. Happy to be here, finally. After everything that had brought her here, she couldn’t help but marvel at how things had worked out.
‘I’m glad too.’ She kissed against his skin, moving under him to get closer. He held her tight.
‘I wish we could stay here forever,’ she said sadly. ‘Shame we’ll have to get up soon.’
He looked at the clock. Barely 4 a.m. His smile grew devilish.
‘We have a bit of time – your interviews aren’t that early.’
She looked at the handsome Irish man who had come to her rescue, daughter and moody aura with him, but she’d found a home with him too.
‘I know,’ she said, teasing him now. ‘But I have a date on the beach with my boyfriend and his gorgeous kid. I have a lot to get done, so I can enjoy the day.’ Cillian kissed her again, and they didn’t speak again. They didn’t need to. They were home.
***
I was there. On the platform that day, THE day. I was there.
I know I’ve never told you, but the day you left, I came. I came for you.
I woke early that morning and crept out of my bedroom window. The same one I crept through to meet you those nights on the beach. I was coming to you again, for good this time.
I didn’t even pack. I just threw on my housecoat and ran.
I couldn’t let you go. I felt so scared, so sick. I feared you wouldn’t have me, the real me, standing in front of you, with my wild hair, chest heaving from my escape, but my feet kept me moving, fast, fast, so fast I felt like I was flying. We had nowhere to go, no life to speak of, but I knew in that moment that I would rather be nowhere with you than anywhere with someone else.
When I got to the platform and saw the lights from the train fade into the dark of the night, I knew I was too late. You were gone, leaving me alone in the crowd. My heart broke that day, and by the time your next letter came, I knew it was hopeless. We had missed our chance. Perhaps in another life, we will be together. Happy, in love. I envy that girl so much. I’d give anything to run like I was flying again.
I dare not even send you this letter, or the others. I will probably write to you for the rest of my life, and that thought both serves to depress me entirely and to provide me hope. Hope is essential in life, even if the odds are stacked against that much wished for life. I was the girl on the platform, but I missed my chance. You left, and you have your duties. I hope you have a life full of value, and love. I hope that when you look out to the water, you think of me. The girl from the sand dunes who will adore you forever. The girl who wished she’d
