She found the whole prospect confusing. John hardly knew her. They were strangers, really. How could he know he wanted to be connected to her in such a way without even knowing her deepest secrets? Most days, Eva felt as if she was failing miserably at being an adult. Becoming a mate, the equivalent to someone’s wife, was so far off her radar, the idea was laughable.
She knew John was older than her, and it had never really bothered her until she realized he was ready to settle down, but she was just setting out to find herself. She’d purposely not given much thought to the kisses they’d shared or the way he’d acted with her tonight, and maybe that was because deep down she knew the truth and it was too complicated to comprehend.
“I’ve upset you,” she whispered as they walked through the trees, their pace hindered by her inability to see in the dark.
“No, you haven’t,” he replied, not looking her way.
“John, I might not be able to sense emotions like you, but I’m not stupid.”
Pausing, he let out an audible breath. “You haven’t upset me. I’ve upset myself.”
“It was the talk of college, right?” she murmured, not sure she actually wanted to have this conversation but knowing she wouldn’t sleep tonight if they didn’t.
“I let myself conveniently forget you have a life waiting for you beyond these woods.”
“I’m not sure I want it anymore though, John, and that has nothing to do with you. I don’t know how to be the girl I was before I lost my mom.”
“You can’t be, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue something you wanted enough to commit to eight years of study.”
“I don’t even know how to have this conversation, John. College, the future, it’s a far distant, terrifying concept, which I just don’t have the strength for right now. I’ve no idea how to decide what to do next, and I’m not sure I want to.”
Taking her face in his hands, John gazed down at her with the beautiful, unearthly yellow of his wolf eyes. “What do you see when you look at me?” he murmured.
“Peace,” she answered honestly. “The calm within the storm, and right now, all I want to do is take shelter with you.”
When he kissed her, everything inside her stilled. The pain, the uncertainty, it all faded away, leaving a rightness in its place. Eva didn’t understand it, but that didn’t matter. After being broken for so long, she’d chase anything to feel whole again.
“Then that’s enough.” For now… silent words he didn’t voice, but Eva knew they were there.
“Are you sure, John? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Have you seen me?” He laughed. “I’m not exactly easy to hurt.”
But somehow, Eva didn’t think his tough exterior protected the huge heart within. He was a deadly wolf, capable of killing with a flick of his claws. But the price of that power was the ability to love blindly, selflessly, to the point he’d walk in front of a bus if it meant an innocent would live. And Eva found herself wanting to protect him, even if it meant risking her already fragile heart.
Chapter 12
John
John led them the rest of the way through the trees, careful with the path he took so Eva wouldn't trip in the dark. He didn't mind the slow pace, spending more time with her was always a bonus even with his wolf snarling in his mind. It did not agree with the steady approach he was leaning toward for claiming Eva. Just the thought of her leaving to return to college had a howl building in the pit of his stomach. But he wouldn't cage her. Eva was meant to finish her study even if it caused him pain. She was so much younger than him, unaware of her strengths and unsure of her future. If he was to force her into a mating, he might one day wake to find the woman he loved had upped and fled, spreading the wings he'd inadvertently crippled.
It was enough he brought her solace. It had to be. It was all she was ready to give.
"John?" she whispered, uncertainty in her tone as they parted to separate bedrooms shortly after arriving home. "Stay with me." Red dusted her cheeks, her gaze swimming with uncertainty. "Last night... it was the first time I've slept well in a long time."
"Look at me," he murmured, closing the distance between them and cupping her cheek. "Don't ever be embarrassed for needing something from me. I'm here, Evaline, for anything."
Her smile kicked him in the gut, sparking joy in his veins. "How did you get under my skin without my notice, John Warden?"
His thumb grazed her lips, his mouth lifting into a slow smile as hotter things fired awake in his blood. "Wolves have a way of doing that."
"I feel like there should be a warning label for women everywhere. Warning: sneaky, sexy, wolves nearby."
"I’m sexy now, am I?" He smirked, wrapping an arm around her waist.
Her breath caught, eyes widening. "The hair, the muscles, that smile…. Come on, John, you're most definitely the sexiest man alive." Her words were bold, her skin a bright shade of pink. He loved this daring yet innocent side of her, as if she was shocked to even be saying such things.
“Keep talking like that, baby, and I'll never leave your bed."
Bending, John claimed her lips and lifted her until she wrapped her legs around his waist. And as he carried her into the bedroom, showing her just how much he cared, his wolf calmed, satisfied for now that this beautiful, surprising woman was
